You Can’t Force God

It’s a question that I get all too often, and just got again: “I’m doing The Law of Gratitude, and it’s not working.” It has a few answers, really. 

But this time I want to focus on a universal aspect, which really applies to anything in spirituality. The most common complaints are generally over prayer, thanking Hashem, and giving charity, but the mistake could be made about any mitzvah: “Hey, Hashem, I did X, why didn’t I get what I want in return?” 

Rabbi Arush discusses one fundamental answer regarding appreciating the good Hashem does for us at length in The Wonders of Gratitude, and I highly recommend reading that chapter in depth. The answer is also tied closely to what I discussed in the article Why Is Charity Not Working. 

But there is another fundamental flaw whenever the Evil Inclination tricks us into thinking this way: By definition, doing something and expecting a guaranteed return is idol worship. And Rabbi Arush teaches that a prayer is accepted according to the amount of emuna in it!  

By definition, a prayer, thanking Hashem, or any mitzvah done expecting something in return has zero emuna – and hence has virtually no chance of getting answered! 

The fundamental of emuna – Hashem always loves me, and everything is good, and it’s only going to be better and better – is based on an understanding that this world is a sort of mirage. It’s real, but what’s happening isn’t really based on this world at all, but rather based on judgments and considerations in Heaven, based on reincarnations and rectifications and all sorts of larger purposes, that are truly unfathomable to us little humans on earth.  

There are things that happen in this world that are NOT GOOD – period. How do we come around to emuna to say it’s good? It’s good because of considerations we don’t know and understand, but if we could know what Hashem knows, and see what Hashem sees, then we would also be very happy. This is also discussed in The Wonders of Gratitude, that emuna is based on a recognition that this world is simply not it, and we have to trust that Hashem is indeed good and only doing eternal good for us. Not necessarily comfortable, or easy, or nice in this world, but eternally good for us – definitely.  

Hence, there has to be a very strong, hard separation between our relationship to Hashem, and His relationship to us. Hashem is the Creator – eternal, all-knowing, merciful and loving like a Father yes, but just like a parent’s decisions are very often not understood by the child, so too Hashem decides based on considerations we cannot hope to understand – at least not until Mashiach comes and explains it to us and reveals the “other side of the story.” A hidden tzaddik recently explained that Mashiach will personally explain to each and every one of us, how everything that happened to us was good – and we’ll agree and thank Hashem! 

On our side, we have to serve Hashem, without considering reward. Certainly, we know there are rewards, both in this world and the next – but that cannot be our principal motivation. Sure, the Gemara says that better to start serving Hashem for the sake of reward and it will help you eventually come to serve Hashem for its own sake. That’s fine and good in general, but not when you expect to do a specific thing – even a mitzvah like thanking Hashem, praying, or giving charity – and get a specific result in the time frame of your choosing! Hashem is the Boss and He doesn’t work for you – nor does He pay out on a fixed schedule like a human boss. To want and expect that from God isn’t to believe in God or serve God at all – but rather, to attempt to serve your own made-up idol that pays out according to your desires, and not His. 

Rabbi Arush says that when it comes to spirituality – what you want and work for – you get! You are guaranteed results, because certainly Hashem wants to give you spirituality – that’s why you were created in the first place! But even there, it’s not necessarily whatsoever going to be the way you expect, or in the time frame you want.  

But when it comes to physicality, like becoming wealthy – the results are absolutely not guaranteed. With physicality, you get what you need according to your soul rectification, and not necessarily what you want. While it’s true that thanking Hashem can overturn even these types of judgements – that’s when the gratitude is real and deep, and not when it’s just lip service and you’re really saying “please” in your heart.  

And the proof is “in the pudding” as they say – if you wonder why Hashem didn’t answer you, then you didn’t say thank You at all! Real “thank You” comes from total acceptance and nullification to Hashem – if you still want something to change, then you didn’t get there. I call it “the irony of thanking.” 

I discussed the concept of accepting Hashem’s will until this moment versus hoping for it to change in the future in my series Thanking Hashem – see my articles Hashem is Right and Do You Really Want What Hashem Wants? The key I want to reiterate here – stop asking Hashem to pay you for your service, and just enjoy living in His world as a free gift!  

The best way to get out of this mindset of “what have You done for me lately?” and “why isn’t it working?” is to start focusing on thanking Hashem for everything you took for granted until now. Challenge yourself to find new thank you’s every day. One day, I looked at my baby and said, “Hey, you know, no one in the family has had problems with their appendix. Wow, thank You, Hashem!” Another day, I considered how my life would be so different if I was incontinent, G-d forbid. Just on that alone I found tens of thank You’s!  

I highly recommend Rabbi Arush’s new “Thank You Meter” – it’s incredibly motivating to see how fast it flies! Personally, I think he should rename it “The Depression Buster.” The best advice – just start saying Psalm 100, “A Psalm of Thanks.” It rarely takes more than three to totally turn around my mood and my day!  

Hashem should help everyone say thank You properly, and see loads of miracles and wonders, amen! 

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Rachel Avrahami grew up in Los Angeles, CA, USA in a far-off valley where she was one of only a handful of Jews in a public high school of thousands. She found Hashem in the urban jungle of the university. Rachel was privileged to read one of the first copies of The Garden of Emuna in English, and the rest, as they say, is history. She made Aliyah and immediately began working at Breslev Israel.   
  
Rachel is now the Editor of Breslev Israel’s English website. She welcomes questions, comments, articles, and personal stories to her email: rachel.avrahami@breslev.co.il.