Please read Who Throws Away Gold?. I think that this is exactly the situation you’re in, and the solution.
All the best!
2. Yehudit
12/27/2022
@jodi – The answers to your dilemma are in the article! The image you have of Hashem as some sort of fire-breathing, vengeful, hateful god is a FALSE GOD! It’s best that you do NOT believe in that god!!! That god is not Hashem – not even close!
Rabbi Arush’s whole thrust is emuna and gratitude. I strongly suggest that you read the Garden of Gratitude and The Wonders of Gratitude. Health crises are discussed there (along with every other imaginable crisis). My copy is dogged-eared already, yet I find something new in it to help me through each new crisis.
May Hashem bless you with love, security, and happiness in your very blessed life (yes, it really is – even now!).
3. Jodi
12/23/2022
Why then, if everything Hashem does is for the good, why do I have blood cancer, had breast cancer? Is that for my good?
I’m terrified of Him, started eating kosher and lighting shabbos candles to appease Him.
I’m so afraid of Hashem , I wish I didn’t believe! Any thoughts?
12/31/2022
Hi Jodi,
Please read Who Throws Away Gold?. I think that this is exactly the situation you’re in, and the solution.
All the best!
12/27/2022
@jodi – The answers to your dilemma are in the article! The image you have of Hashem as some sort of fire-breathing, vengeful, hateful god is a FALSE GOD! It’s best that you do NOT believe in that god!!! That god is not Hashem – not even close!
Rabbi Arush’s whole thrust is emuna and gratitude. I strongly suggest that you read the Garden of Gratitude and The Wonders of Gratitude. Health crises are discussed there (along with every other imaginable crisis). My copy is dogged-eared already, yet I find something new in it to help me through each new crisis.
May Hashem bless you with love, security, and happiness in your very blessed life (yes, it really is – even now!).
12/23/2022
Why then, if everything Hashem does is for the good, why do I have blood cancer, had breast cancer? Is that for my good?
I’m terrified of Him, started eating kosher and lighting shabbos candles to appease Him.
I’m so afraid of Hashem , I wish I didn’t believe! Any thoughts?