Rav Yehuda Zev and Our Kids

Want your kids to have emuna? Need ideas on how to bring it into their lives? For starters, use the tips below laid out by one of the generation’s holiest individuals, Rabbi Yehuda Zev Leibowitch of saintly and blessed memory. Before he left this world he told his students, including his prime disciple Rabbi Shalom Arush, to keep these principles in order to merit the full redemption without tribulations such as war and poverty.

Helping

“Okay, kids, I have a question – if we see someone crying, what can we do?” Tell them, “We help!” Repeat the question and repeat the answer until they can do it on their own. Give examples of how to help a child who might be lonely or miss his mommy. At the kindergarten go with your child and give him a hug and offer a toy.  At home draw a picture for them and bring it the next day.

A child needs to see us living it ourselves.  For example, bring your child along to do an act of helping. Maybe it’s bringing your husband a treat or helping the wife with the laundry. Find something that will connect your child to the idea of helping. That way when you explain to them the opportunity to do acts of helping in their school, the idea won’t be foreign.   

Having Mercy

“If we have a toy and we see someone sad, what can we do for them? We can share!” Repeat this joyfully until they get it and can answer it alone.  Show your child situations where we should feel emotions for the other children who need help. For example if you are at a park and see a child who is crying, a great thing to do is give your child a fun snack like a cookie or cracker and tell your child to go bring it to him. The first time go with your child and then lavishly praise them afterward. The next time your child will want to go by themselves! This makes your child a giver.

Show them how to have mercy by visiting an old person, or doing a kindness for a neighbor. The idea is to find a way to show them how you as the parent also fulfil this concept just like them. Constantly reiterate these concepts and praise your child for every success!

To Give In

The way to teach this is through sharing, instilling confidence, and avoiding unnecessary arguing. Ask them “Ok kids do we fight about toys? Do we fight about snacks? No!” Do this joyfully before there are arguments. When you are grocery shopping or walking down the street – this is the time to teach; not in the middle of a fight.

Another tip to get your kids to share is when they are toddlers buy a pack of raisins and go to the park. While they are playing give a raisin to one child and say, “Go give this to your sister.” Then see the reaction and say, “Wow look your brother shared with you! What do we say?” Try to elicit the thank-yous to each of them. Be adamant and make sure they say thank you. Spend fifteen minutes between them both, “Hey take this raisin to your brother.” Go back and forth between them as they play at the park. This will get them into the habit and enjoyment of sharing things that they themselves love such as treats. This works great to build brotherly love.

No Shouting or Hitting

Here the main idea is to lead by example. Parenting is not easy and has moments of breaking points. The idea is to keep cool when things heat up. Never hit your child or overreact. You will notice that if you react with anger and yelling they will too. Don’t let bad behavior slide but deal with it correctly.

In the beginning this can be very challenging so reward yourself as the parent with many healthy snacks that you like. Keep yourself in a positive mood, this is a key to parenting. Exercise can do wonders if you have a short temper.

While you lead your life of peaceful tranquility you can educate your children by asking them, “Do we bite other children? Do we fight other children? Do we pull other children’s hair?” Each time try to elicit a “No” from them and try to make it fun. Say things like, “I can’t hear you! Louder!” Your kids will love it.

You can do all of this in the car, at the mall or while shopping for food.

My full heart’s blessing in helping you bring up an emuna generation.

Must-have books for parents and kids:

• Garden of Education
• Worry Worm
• The Gift Whose Name is Thank You (also available in CD #1 and CD #2)
• The Garden of Emuna for Young People