Striving for Self-Discipline

The more a person has self-discipline, the more efficient and successful he’ll be in life. This is true in every walk of life, not just in religious lifestyles. A person with no self-discipline won’t be able to channel his energies into a positive direction or fulfill his potential, drastically reducing his chance of success.

Self-discipline means that a person adheres to the regimentation that he sets for himself, adhering to the principles that he knows are right. This includes being on time for prayer, study or work and being resolute enough to repel the evil inclination’s assaults of temptation.

Understandably, if each of us had an overlord, a boss, a commander or our own private policeman monitoring our every move, we wouldn’t sway from the just path. Strong self-discipline is just like having such a personal monitor. In fact, the higher one’s level of spiritual awareness, the more he feels Hashem’s Divine Presence, making self-discipline more second nature, for he knows that Hashem sees his every move and is privy to his every thought.

In contrast, those with weak or no self-discipline waste time and are unproductive. They rarely set goals, and even if they do, they are easily sidetracked by their whims and bodily appetites. Also, they frequently forget what they set out to do in the first place. A classic example is a person that turns on the computer to do homework or a project for work, and ends up aimlessly surfing on the web and squandering hours on end. This is the result of lack of resolve and lack of self-discipline.

A successful executive once told me that when he wants a job done, he gives the assignment to his busiest subordinate. Just as the busy subordinate is handling ten different projects successfully without resting for a minute, he’ll handle the eleventh too.

A person without self-discipline is chronically late. For example, there are those who always make it to Shabbat in a mad rush, whether in the middle of winter when candle-lighting is at 4 PM or in the middle of summer, when we usher in the Shabbat at 8 PM. How can this be?

Industrious families decide that all year round, Shabbat preparations are completed by Friday at noon. They do the bulk of the cooking and baking on Thursday evening, enabling themselves plenty of time to bathe and dress the children, learn the week’s Torah portion with a cup of tea and a taste of the Shabbat cake, as well as have a pre-Shabbat rest. These families enter the Shabbat relaxed and happy; they thoroughly enjoy the Shabbat table together.

Friday afternoon and Shabbat are frequently disasters when a family has no self-discipline. Chaos is rampant; thirty minutes before candle-lighting, the children are still not bathed and the pots are not yet on the hotplate. Families like this are frequently tardy in ushering in the Shabbat. Some even race to synagogue in the cars, screeching into the parking lot moments before sundown.

If a person wants to do Hashem’s will, he’ll benefit from Divine assistance. But if he’s slovenly, he’ll be on his own. To paraphrase our sages, Hashem takes us down the road where we want to go.

Self-discipline is the superb combination of desire and self-composure. A person with these two characteristics is able to accomplish what he sets out to accomplish.

Enhancing one’s desire therefore enhances self-discipline. The more a person strengthens his desire – especially in spiritual endeavors – the more he’ll benefit from Divine assistance. Enhanced desire goes hand-in-hand with more prayer.

In child education, it’s vital to explain to children the importance of values that we’re trying to teach them. We should also prepare them for difficulties and obstacles that will surely pop up from time to time, while emphasizing the rewards they’ll earn from self-discipline and perseverance in overcoming them. Sure, new challenges are hard at first, but if we don’t give in to the difficulties, we’ll make big progress. Such explanations are powerful motivators for children, particularly when they see self-disciplined and perseverant parents.

Sadness and depression result from a lack of resolve and a lack of self-composure because the truth and/or goals are not firmly established in the person’s mind. They also result from a low self-image, when a person thinks he’s a loser and unsuccessful, and torments himself as a consequence.

With determination and self-discipline, a person can accomplish virtually anything.

Fact: The more a person has self-discipline, the higher his chances for success. Such a person moves his desires from the theoretical mode to the practical mode, taking the necessary steps to achieve what he wants to achieve.

Prayer is a wonderful support tool to fulfill our desires, but it’s no substitute for hard work. We teach our children to pray for Divine assistance in their learning, but prayer doesn’t substitute the hours of study and homework preparation that are required for excellence and success. Self-discipline helps a child focus on his goals, without being sidetracked on inconsequential and time-wasting endeavors. For a child to learn well, we must fan his desire for learning.

We should also teach our children to pray for self-discipline and desire to do the right things. Once they’ve prayed, it’s time to take action.