The Torah’s Perspective

We find in this week's Parsha that Hashem told Avraham to listen to Sarah and to send away Yishmaeil – not, as so many erroneously think – that he would be a "bad brotherly influence" to Yitzchak; but rather that "(only) in Yitzchak is called your progeny". Avraham had initially considered Yishmaeil to be his proper son, but Sarah had prophetically seen otherwise ("Send away this maidservant and HER son" – unlike Avraham's perturbence at "HIS son's issue"). i.e. Hashem told him that he must listen to Sarah, because "(only) in Yitzchak is called your progeny". By contrast – we find that Eisav was never sent away from Yitzchak's house – even after Yitzchak himself had tremmored upon seeing Gehenom opening up under Eisav's feet! No matter how far Eisav had strayed – he was still the son of Yitzchak and Rivka, and he had to be treated as such. This was Yaakov's duty – to put up with his brother's defection, even to the point of running away for his life. The time will yet come when (the remnant of) Eisav will act in partnership with Yaakov. Meanwhile, it is our trial and obligation to put up with his treacherous "brotherhood". The Torah clearly teaches us in Ki Theitzei (D'vorim 23:8) that we may not abhor an Edomite, "for he is your brother". The parents in the above-mentioned story are committing a most ugly error every time they admonish the struggling son to "be like his brother". This tactic only serves to create more hostility and rebellion towards them and especially towards his brother… In the vast majority of cases it would do them far more good to encourage Avi to devote some of his time to befriend Kenny; to offer him words of encouragement, and overall to assure him that they will always remain brothers with their individual challenges that each one of them may face.

We find in this week's Parsha that Hashem told Avraham to listen to Sarah and to send away Yishmaeil – not, as so many erroneously think – that he would be a "bad brotherly influence" to Yitzchak; but rather that "(only) in Yitzchak is called your progeny". Avraham had initially considered Yishmaeil to be his proper son, but Sarah had prophetically seen otherwise ("Send away this maidservant and HER son" – unlike Avraham's perturbence at "HIS son's issue"). i.e. Hashem told him that he must listen to Sarah, because "(only) in Yitzchak is called your progeny". By contrast – we find that Eisav was never sent away from Yitzchak's house – even after Yitzchak himself had tremmored upon seeing Gehenom opening up under Eisav's feet! No matter how far Eisav had strayed – he was still the son of Yitzchak and Rivka, and he had to be treated as such. This was Yaakov's duty – to put up with his brother's defection, even to the point of running away for his life. The time will yet come when (the remnant of) Eisav will act in partnership with Yaakov. Meanwhile, it is our trial and obligation to put up with his treacherous "brotherhood". The Torah clearly teaches us in Ki Theitzei (D'vorim 23:8) that we may not abhor an Edomite, "for he is your brother". The parents in the above-mentioned story are committing a most ugly error every time they admonish the struggling son to "be like his brother". This tactic only serves to create more hostility and rebellion towards them and especially towards his brother… In the vast majority of cases it would do them far more good to encourage Avi to devote some of his time to befriend Kenny; to offer him words of encouragement, and overall to assure him that they will always remain brothers with their individual challenges that each one of them may face.