Don’t Ignore Your Emotions – Part 4

Now I will explain Steps 3 & 4 of thanking Hashem with your whole heart – without ignoring the negative emotions that inevitably accompany difficult situations. 

Step 3 – Find the Lie 

Ultimately, emotions are based on thoughts. Those thoughts are often unconscious, but if you can figure out the thought, then you can change the emotion. For instance, the Evil Inclination tells us that whatever isn’t going our way, and especially when everything seems to be going wrong, that Hashem must hate us. That thought, even if we don’t recognize it for what it us, causes us to feel sadness and anger. But if we recognize that thought and recognize that it’s a lie and fight it – the best is saying it out loud – then the emotion changes!  

So, you might pray like this, “Hashem, I feel sad and angry that this is happening because I feel like You must hate me if You are doing this to me. But it’s a lie! You love me and You are doing this because You see what I cannot see and You know what I cannot know. Help me, Hashem, to thank You for this, even though is seems so terrible! G-d, everything You do is good and it’s only getting better and better! That’s the truth! I want to live the truth! This has to be good somehow! Thank You!”  

Repeat it over and over again, and the sadness and anger will start to fade into happiness or at least, they will be less intense. If you can really root out the thought that’s a lie, that’s often when the emotions suddenly shift and now you can now really sing and dance and thank Hashem with your whole heart – and that’s when the magic really happens! 

That being said, sometimes the situation is so tough that transforming the emotions is just too hard. In that case, Rabbi Arush says to ignore the pain altogether and focus on thanking Hashem for the obvious good that there is in your life. You can see to read this article? Thank you, Hashem! Your hands can move to choose this article? Thank you, Hashem!  

I also find that repeating Psalm 100 (Mizmor L’Todah magnet), or Rabbi Arush’s new song on emuna (which is the words on the Emuna magnet), also helps a lot in such cases. Don’t feel bad that you can’t find your own words – do your best and try to speak in your own words, but if you are nonetheless falling into sadness, sing whatever emuna song works to get you out of there! Rebbe Nachman says that you need to use a lot of tricks to be happy. 

Step 4 – Combine it All and Thank Hashem! 

Remember that the point is the real emotion of gratitude, happiness, and love in your heart – not the number of times you say “thank you” with your lips. Many miracle stories are born from time spent praying for emuna and gratitude and a single truly heartfelt “thank you” at the end.  

My favorite such story I heard directly from Rabbi Arush, who heard it from the mother. She had just given birth, but the baby didn’t start breathing. One minute, another minute. Silence. She was used to thanking Hashem but in those heart wrenching moments, she sat there working through the basics of emuna in her head. It took four minutes for her to weakly get out the words, “Thank you, Hashem” but with her whole heart – and the baby started breathing! Rabbi Arush commented that after five minutes the baby is considered stillborn – so Hashem had to save her on the spot, there was no more time! 

In my previous example of the sick newborn, I prayed like this, with tears streaming down my face, of course! “Hashem, I am so terrified that my tiny newborn is so sick! I am sick too, and I have no idea what is going to happen to us. Hashem, give me the strength to take care of the baby. Hashem, help me not to blame myself for going to that mother’s evening for the school with the newborn, and now so many of us have Corona, including me and the baby. Hashem, I know You do everything for the best, even though it makes no sense to me now. A sick newborn is definitely a very bad thing. Anyone who says it’s good is crazy! Loony bin! But Hashem, somehow this is good. Please help me to thank You with my whole heart. I want emuna. Hashem, You alone give life, and take life. I want to live, and I want the baby to live. But whatever happens, save me and give me emuna! No matter what G-d forbid, give me the emuna to say thank you! Give me the emuna to know it’s for the best! Whatever You do, thank you, whatever You want, thank you!” 

Never, ever forget Rabbi Natan of Breslev’s words: If everyone would listen to the true tzaddikim, and thank Hashem for the good and the bad, then for sure all of the suffering would be canceled, and the full Redemption would have already come! 

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Rachel Avrahami grew up in Los Angeles, CA, USA in a far-off valley where she was one of only a handful of Jews in a public high school of thousands. She found Hashem in the urban jungle of the university. Rachel was privileged to read one of the first copies of The Garden of Emuna in English, and the rest, as they say, is history. She made Aliyah and immediately began working at Breslev Israel.   
  
Rachel is now the Editor of Breslev Israel’s English website. She welcomes questions, comments, articles, and personal stories to her email: rachel.avrahami@breslev.co.il.