Together Again

What people call a “family celebration” or simcha is a lot less joyful when the bride, groom, Bar Mitzvah boy or Bat Mitzvah girl are the children of divorced parents. At a Bar Mitzvah I attended recently, which involved the son of divorced parents, there was an atmosphere of tension and awkwardness. On the men’s side, the Bar Mitzvah boy’s natural father and grandfather sat at the head table, while the stepfather and his friends sat a side table; it was embarrassing to see how they chattered while the natural grandfather spoke words of Torah and blessed his grandson.

On the women’s side, things were even more awkward. The boy’s natural mother sat at the head table, while the father’s second wife sat at a side table with her friends. The atmosphere was like two columns of opposing armies facing one another right before they charge and attack.

The happy occasions of married couples are often nightmares for divorced couple – who invites who, who pays what, and a dozen other reasons to argue and disagree.

What about the children that suffer the tragedy of not being able to grow up with two parents under the same roof? Divorce devastates children emotionally more than almost anything else.

With all the above in mind, think about what a monumental mitzva one performs by making peace between a sparring husband and wife or by getting a separated couple back together. That’s why letters like the following are priceless for me:

Hello Rabbi Brody,

A quick note to let you know how grateful I am for The Garden of Peace. I am a person of 38 who grew up with little practical religious observance. I am only beginning to realize the damaging effects secular influences have had on me. Thank G-d the last several years I have become close to Yiddishkeit via Chabad, and I thank you for opening me to the world of Breslev for me. I had been praying 3 times a day, putting on tefillin, and even started observing Shabbat; nevertheless I was missing peace in my marriage (now I know why and more importantly what to about it).

My wife and I divorced in 2009. We have 5 adorable kids. We actually remarried a year ago but the same old negative patterns and problems came to the surface after the “honeymoon” period was over. I was ready to walk away (my wife was also miserable) and admit with much embarrassment I made a terrible mistake twice!! Thank G-d I ordered Garden of Peace immediately after it was recommended by two people I trust.

I received the book two months ago and I have read it twice very carefully. I am now on my third reading using a highlighter. I have never read a book that I wanted to reread immediately after finishing. The book has so much meaning and significance; it has literally changed my life in a tremendous way in a very short period of time. Frankly I feel a bit foolish about my previous attitudes and value system. I wish I knew about this years ago although I am not sure I would have been ready for the message in the past.

Please know this book has saved me and my family a LOT of unnecessary pain and anguish. With Hashem’s help I will continue to improve and refine myself so I can be the man and father Hashem wants me to be. Your book also led me to find a website guardyoureyes.com which goes into great detail about keeping personal holiness. I had no idea how important this was let alone how it was ruining my marriage and chances of Shalom Bayit. I would  never have dreamed of guarding my eyes if I hadn’t read Garden of Peace.

I am sad that the Divine Presence fled my home for so long and that I caused my wife so much pain. I cringe when I think how just a few short while ago I was ready to end my marriage especially now that I understand all the problems stemmed from my flawed thinking and ignorance of Hashem’s will. Thank G-d I read this book before it was too late. It was a tragedy to get divorced the first time but to almost ruin a second chance would have been beyond any words I can think of right now.

With sincerest gratitude and wishing you continued blessings and success, Ed S., USA

You don’t have to be a Professional marital counselor to save marriages. Simply by giving a couple The Garden of Peace or Women’s Wisdom, or a set of Shalom-Bayit CDs, you can save lives too. Saving one marriage is like saving an entire world. This is the way within our own reach that we can make the world a better place.