Emperor penguins live in Antarctica. They are about three to four feet in height, as tall as your average preschooler. During mating season, after the mother lays her egg, she promptly passes it onto her mate, who will then proceed to ‘egg-sit’ his unborn chick for the next 65 days! Mrs. Penguin then bids her husband a fond adieu, and goes off to some sort of two month long penguin spa, or penguin shlucha convention. There, she will engage in a feeding frenzy of sorts, as she and her friends replenish their reserves with fresh fish. For two months! (All ladies out there who feel comfortable leaving their husbands alone with the kids for 65 days, subsisting on a diet of French fries and pizza please raise your hands). Father penguin braves severe weather conditions and countless other environmental hazards while guarding his chick. The worst part (from a human perspective, that is) is that while Mrs. Penguin is enjoying her sisterhood tea with her friends in the cold Arctic sea, Mr. Penguin doesn’t eat one morsel of food until she gets back (right before the chick hatches.) Unbelievable!
What does a Jew have to do with Emperor penguins? Nothing! Except– we see in the dynamics of the penguins’ relationship the forethought with which Hashem has created all of His creatures. Whoever believes that creation came about randomly has only to look as far as the Emperor penguins to see that the world does indeed have a Master Builder. There is an amazing give and take system that takes place between your average penguin couple. They work together in perfect tandem, fully trusting that each one is fulfilling the mission that they have each been given. One is not questioning the other. This would never work with humans. We humans are always keeping track of ‘what’s fair’. Not eating for two months, to selflessly allow your mate to indulge in some much needed sole searching (pun intended) would never happen. And that’s just the tip of the ice berg!
We have been raised in a culture that espouses a ‘separate but equal’ attitude when it comes to male and female. Thanks to the feminists, women are toughening up, trying to act like men, men are trying to be as sensitive as women ,and nobody knows who they are at the end of the day! Roles which were once unquestionably defined are now being redesigned—by man (or woman)—not by G-d. A man wants a woman—just like Hashem intended, and vice versa. How can men and women possibly be equal? When was the last time a man gave birth? When was the last time a man got excited over the fifty-percent-off sale plus the extra fifteen-percent-off plus ten more percent if you pay by credit card sale at Macy’s? When was the last time a woman begged her husband to please, please, please taker her to Radio Shack so she could get excited over remote control toys and other gadgets which fill some electronic genetic enzyme deficiency or other which she cannot even comprehend? When? Separate but equal? I think not.
The Torah’s way is clear. Men and women have distinct jobs. A man puts on Tefillin. That is his conduit to Hashem. A woman bakes Challah. That is one of her missions. She nurtures her family, much like the loaves she bakes. He goes out and davens for his family, while she stays home to actually nurture that family. Like the Emperor penguins, they work in perfect concert towards an ultimate goal. But unlike the penguins who don’t question their defined roles, we humans are constantly looking outside our ‘system’, doubting whether our jobs are actually ‘fair’. And that’s when all the trouble starts.
That’s not to say that a husband can’t be sensitive, or a woman can’t be tough. But it says in the Torah, that one of the ways in which the Egyptians punished the Jews was by plain and simple role reversal– the women did the physically taxing jobs of the men, and the men were forced to run the home (imagine!). When you strip a person of their essence, and replace it with something that goes against nature, in the end, it is utter torture. Does that mean women can’t have a career? No way! Jewish women have always worked. But a Jewish woman has always been a nurturer first and foremost. A woman has been given the gift to heal, to soften the rough edges of the world. She is the balm on the wounds of existence. A man is pragmatic, more about logic than emotion. He is attuned to fact, to his physical surroundings. That’s why his spiritual work is more time bound than a woman’s. A woman is already spiritually there. A man must work a little harder to get there. Each one complements the other, to create the balance which forms a perfect whole. As soon as we begin deviating from Hashem’s plan, we are lost in uncharted territory. If Hashem has given such forethought and wondrous design to the Emperor penguins, how much more so by us humans!
Each one must fulfill their G-d given role. A woman has been gifted with built in radar for lost shoes socks and keys. It is a man’s job is to either constantly lose things, or not know where they are to begin with. The woman’s job is to have a computerized database in her brain where everything is, and in which drawer. That’s why the Torah says that it is not good for man to be alone. Otherwise, he would never be able to have a properly matched pair of socks.
Let’s pray for the dawning of the Messianic age, when men and women will bask in the revealed wisdom of Hashem. A time when the riddles that plague us will be solved; when questions like, “why do women have so many pairs of shoes?” or “why do men hate asking for directions?” will finally be answered. A time when we will ALL live in peace, just as Hashem intended. May it be speedily in our days, Amen!
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