Something that always bothers me — the role of Bar Kamtza, who is also blamed. I think there’s room to say that his desire for peace left much to be desired…what does he offer his host when he sees he’s not wanted? Money…He doesn’t apologize, doesn’t acknowledge that a mistake was made, doesn’t try to correct whatever rendered him the host’s “enemy”…no, “I’ll pay you to pretend everything is good”. The host doesn’t want his money? He must be crazy, nay, they all are…
2. Yehudit
7/12/2021
M7 – your comments are spot on!!
3. M
7/25/2012
Reading the story of Bar Kamtza and thinking about humiliation.
We all have character defects that we would rather not be advertised. Some people even have very strong ones that harm others. While that person should definitely be stopped form harmful behavior and seek to help himself or pray for Divine help, it is NEVER the job of another person to render the judgment or humiliate them in any way.
How do we know that the person with the less than desirable defect wants desperately to get better him/herself and doesn't yet have the answers?
How can we NOT know that the person is a child of G-d and has many positive traits that, once the negative has been removed, can shine with great intensity?
How can we think that person has so little to offer the world that they deserve to walk around in shame? Also, humiliation doesn't help a person improve.
I think it's best to instead build a person up by focusing on the 99 good qualities they have, and those qualities will magnify.
Eventually they will grow so big that the person is able to face the bad qualities successfully, and/or the person's good traits will outshine the bad to the point of the bad not mattering anymore. Praise and look with favor always.
8/11/2024
Something that always bothers me — the role of Bar Kamtza, who is also blamed. I think there’s room to say that his desire for peace left much to be desired…what does he offer his host when he sees he’s not wanted? Money…He doesn’t apologize, doesn’t acknowledge that a mistake was made, doesn’t try to correct whatever rendered him the host’s “enemy”…no, “I’ll pay you to pretend everything is good”. The host doesn’t want his money? He must be crazy, nay, they all are…
7/12/2021
M7 – your comments are spot on!!
7/25/2012
Reading the story of Bar Kamtza and thinking about humiliation.
We all have character defects that we would rather not be advertised. Some people even have very strong ones that harm others. While that person should definitely be stopped form harmful behavior and seek to help himself or pray for Divine help, it is NEVER the job of another person to render the judgment or humiliate them in any way.
How do we know that the person with the less than desirable defect wants desperately to get better him/herself and doesn't yet have the answers?
How can we NOT know that the person is a child of G-d and has many positive traits that, once the negative has been removed, can shine with great intensity?
How can we think that person has so little to offer the world that they deserve to walk around in shame? Also, humiliation doesn't help a person improve.
I think it's best to instead build a person up by focusing on the 99 good qualities they have, and those qualities will magnify.
Eventually they will grow so big that the person is able to face the bad qualities successfully, and/or the person's good traits will outshine the bad to the point of the bad not mattering anymore. Praise and look with favor always.