Remembering Rebbetzin Shaindel Moscowitz

“Never forget that I think you’re wonderful. A wonderful mother.”

I can still hear her voice ringing in my ears, her thick British accent accenting the word “wonderful.” The voice that I became so accustomed to, that I relied on. In my speed dial, first there is my husband, then my mom, and then the Rebbetzin. The Melitzer Rebbetzin of Ashdod, Shaindel bat Moshe Tzvi HaCohen, of blessed memory.

I really called her that often. During the divorce, I generally checked in with her virtually every day. So too when I was actively dating. Then came the glorious day that she and the Rebbe walked my husband and I to the chuppah (in Chassidic circles, the two mothers walk the bride, and the two fathers walk the groom to the marriage canopy). As time wore on, I got involved in day to day life with little kids, which generally left me with no time to chat. Don’t worry, I called her plenty for various difficulties, major decisions, parenting and marriage advice, and much more. But there were times when I called less frequently, and she was happy with that. “I know when you need me, you’ll pick up the phone,” she quipped.

She always had so much to share, on every topic. She was full of excellent ideas, tips and tricks, besides her incredible Torah knowledge. I loved basking in her many hilarious yet illuminating stories, like how she handled the toddler who decided to “clean” a cupboard for Passover and left it filled with popcorn (I think she told me that story before every Passover) or how her husband knew how her day had been by noticing how many dishes were in the sink. And if the sink was full, how he would immediately get to work doing the dishes himself without even saying a word about it…

When I was struggling managing the house, the kids, and the pressure while trying to nurse a tiny baby, she had me put in letters on the whiteboard above my kitchen table: “I’m a good Yiddishe mama!” She never hesitated to focus on the good in me, the victories, the aspects I could build on instead of the flaws. She often told me that to her, I was a superhero – successfully managing so many loads on my back, fighting to raise upright Jewish children against the tide.

She spoke English, Yiddish and Hebrew fluently. Furthermore, this was a second marriage for both her and the Rebbe, after each had lost their first spouse. She had lived in Bnei Brak, then London and then back to Ashdod when she married the Rebbe.

Besides giving phone advice, she sacrificed so much to help the Rebbe. She managed the Rebbe’s strict meal schedules and the many people calling and coming to the house for help, advice, prayers and blessings. Not to mention the food of course. Every Thursday I would compete with the food processor, and relished the rare Erev Shabbat when I could sometimes grab her for a bit after she had completed her preparations for Shabbos, often while rushing around my own kitchen (and getting bits of advice from her as I went, and she heard what I was doing and how). The Rebbe won’t eat anything that she didn’t personally prepare, including the chicken itself which the Rebbe would go every couple months to oversee the shechita (kosher slaughter) and then she would personally kasher and salt every last one – usually about 200 chickens at a time (the Rebbe had a number of large freezers to keep them all in between chicken runs).

The last time I spoke with her, I reminded her that however much I do or don’t call, she’s still with me every single day. Because every day, generally multiple times a day, I hear her voice in my head, reminding me about this, that or the other. Forget about how often I would quote her and the many things I learned from her. Many of those lessons are in my articles too, most notably the Dating with Emuna series.

I had no idea that would be the last time I would actually hear her voice through the phone, and not in my head.

Never forget, Rebbetzin – I think you’re wonderful. And you’ll always be my superhero.

Read the Rebbetzin’s wonderful articles and see for yourself what tremendous insights and advice she offered!

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