Corona and Kids

Corona has presented us with my different challenges and changed the scope of every aspect of our lives including work, friends, spousal relationships, and our children. Here at Breslev Israel, we’re trying our best to bring you informative articles that will help you cope – spiritually, and physically – across all fronts. To this end, we are excited to begin a series of articles on “Corona and Kids,” which will cover many different aspects from education at home and creating a schedule within the chaos, to dealing with children in quarantine and much more. 

It isn’t easy being cooped up with our kids in the house all day, day in and day out – and it isn’t easy for our children either! Even children of the youngest age notice the changes that have taken place over the last few weeks – their parents and older siblings wearing masks and gloves, the additional stress worrying over income, staying home all day, changes in their daily schedule and a million other details. Everyone hates change, and fear of the unknown is real – and our children are no exception.  

Let’s start with the foundation: Emuna. Rabbi Arush says that “emuna is the power to cope.” I don’t know about you, but man, I could use more coping power right now! The more we can strengthen our emuna, and in turn strengthen those around us, the more we are all going to cope better. That means both managing the practical details of the situation better, as well as managing our emotions better. Both positively influence the other, to create a snowball in the right direction.  

The next foundation Rabbi Arush teaches in The Garden of Education is that you cannot give your children, what you yourself lack. So, our first task is to strengthen our own emuna!  

First, we have to constantly remind ourselves of the simple truths that are the building blocks of belief in Hashem, including “Only G-d decides who and how someone gets sick, not chance or a miniscule virus,” “Even my mistakes are from Hashem,” “With emuna, miracles are natural”, “G-d Himself is the Guardian of Israel, and He guards me too!” “No father does bad for his children, and certainly not my Father in Heaven! Everything is for the best, especially when we don’t understand!” “G-d can do whatever He wants. If He chose this exact situation for the world in general and me in particular, then it’s certainly for the best!” 

Next, we have pray about those simple truths, and ask Hashem for the emuna to live them. Rabbi Arush once said, “We have to ask Hashem for everything. And emuna, which is the most important thing there is, we suddenly think we can just achieve it on our own?!” Rabbi Arush also teaches that without personal prayer (hitbodedut), even if you know what to do, you won’t succeed to actually do it! Prayer, and specifically personal prayer, is the ONLY way to bridge the longest distance in the world – between the head and the heart. 

That means, we need to find some way in all this madness to speak to Hashem, alone, every single day. For some of us, this will be easier. For others (like me), that might be next to impossible. This too, you should ask Hashem for help! Maybe first thing in the morning before everyone wakes up, or last thing before you go to bed? (Just be careful – I am forced to do this too often, and too often I simply fall asleep within minutes wherever I might be…) Some days I manage to get everyone down for a nap and then run to the porch for an hour… The most important thing is to try every day, keep asking Hashem to help you, and not give up. 

This is your time to take all that worry, stress, fear and pain and put it all on G-d’s big, broad shoulders. Let Him carry that burden for you! Besides praying for emuna, tell Him all about your difficulties with your kids and ask for advice. You’ll be amazed by the ideas that will suddenly pop into your head, or the conversations you’ll have the next day, or whatever other means Hashem finds to get you the answers you need. Just the feeling that you are not alone in whatever you’re going through will already help solve a lot of problems. 

Speaking to Hashem every day is actually the best advice I can ever give you about helping you and your kids manage Corona. This hour of personal prayer brings emuna into the house – bringing happiness, light and calm with it. Rabbi Arush recently mentioned in a video that someone thanked him for teaching him emuna, if just for enabling him to deal with Corona, and mentioned how happy and calm he and his family is. Rabbi Arush responded, “It is because of the hour of personal prayer you do every day!” 

Now that you’ve connected into The Source, and you are filling yourself with emuna, bringing with it happiness and calm – let’s talk about bringing this down to your kids.  

First off, your kids might just be as scared and panicked as you – if not more. And they will act it out! The more you can help them strengthen their emuna, the calmer they will be, and the easier you can all weather the storm together.  

One phrase we have been using in our house that worked wonders to calm down the kids: “Guarding ourselves, but not scared.” I explain this to them day in and day out: “It is our duty to protect ourselves and others, and follow the Rabbis who have ruled that we must listen to all the health directives. Therefore, we wear masks, wash our hands once we come home, etc. etc. But we are not afraid! Hashem guards us! We are in G-d’s good hands! Whatever happens, is from Hashem!” 

Additionally, teaching the children to thank Hashem is even more important now. I try to make a few minutes every day, usually before bed, that each child thanks Hashem in their own words. We thank Hashem for Coronavirus! We thank Hashem that we are together, that we are healthy, that we still have a roof over our heads, food, etc. Sometimes, we’ll also go around in a circle with our thank you’s after a meal. 

Another important tool to use is exercise. Depending on your ability to go outside for a walk, be creative with indoor exercise as well. One Shabbat, we all made a “choo-choo train” around the house, singing “The wheels on the bus go round and round.” For each different verse, I made the kids do different things with their arms.  

However, the absolute best idea I ever had – dancing! I put on Rabbi Arush’s CD Tiftach Li et haShaar and let it rip! We sing and dance to Psalm 100, plus the other songs. I use this tool especially when it feels like everything (or just my own sanity) is about to break apart. Let all that angst out – dancing and singing to Hashem! It’s incredible how all the emotions just pour out, opening space for the emuna to come back in. 

In fact, when I can, I do the Chok Todah with the CD! The song Lo Mevin Klum (Track 4) is a great way to get yourself happy and thanking Hashem, as you thank Hashem for your every breath, what you have, and what you don’t. It is 4 minutes long, so I repeat it 4 times and improvise my own words based on my problem. Mizmor L’Todah (Track 8) is repeated twice, so I repeat that also 4 times. Walla! You just did the Chok Todah – 15 minutes thanking Hashem, 8 times Psalm 100 – in the best way possible, singing, happy and dancing – and you feel great! 

To be continued in Part 2.

*** 

Rachel Avrahami grew up in Los Angeles, CA, USA in a far off valley where she was one of only a handful of Jews in a public high school of thousands. She found Hashem in the urban jungle of university. Rachel was privileged to read one of the first copies of The Garden of Emuna in English, and the rest, as they say, is history. She made Aliyah and immediately began working at Breslev Israel.  

 
Rachel is now the Editor of Breslev Israel's English website. She welcomes questions, comments, articles, and personal stories to her email: rachel.avrahami@breslev.co.il.