Just a Little Candle

Hashem Visits Us at Chanukah 

This year, I heard an incredible teaching from Rebbe Nachman on Chanukah that I hadn’t heard before: 

The three festivals (Passover, Sukkot and Shavuot) are the aspect of coming to meet the King in His palace. Of course, when someone comes before the King, they must be prepared, they come with gifts, etc. Hence, every adult male was commanded to come up to Jerusalem with offerings. 

Chanukah and Purim, however, are like a Minister who has fallen ill, and the King comes to visit him on his sickbed. In this case, the King comes to him as he is, even if he is lying in bed, and is not properly washed or dressed.  

Thus, on these holidays, G-d comes to visit us, in whatever state we are in. Hashem makes a “bikur cholim” (visit to the sick) visit to the Jewish people in our lowly state in exile, far away from the beautiful palace of Jerusalem, and the grandeur that befits us, the Princes and Princesses of G-d. 

On Chanukah, Hashem’s presence (the Shechina), even goes below the normal limit of 10 tefachim, into the lowest spiritual places of external forces and impurity. 

Hashem comes to us, in our sickness, in our exile, in whatever place we find ourselves. All we need to do is prepare our minds and hearts and believe in ourselves in order to receive our illustrious guest. Hashem doesn’t expect us to be on any sort of level – only to trust Him with our entire heart and soul and light a candle in the cold and the dark. 

The Light Comes after the Darkness 

Let’s couple this with another realization about the story of Chanukah – and that is that the awesome miracle of the oil only happened after many long, dark years of oppression, followed by civil war. Mattityahu the Kohen Gadol and his sons fought valiantly for about 7 years, amassing a small army of Jews still dedicated to Judaism, living and hiding in caves. Then the Greeks brought in a massive army which included elephants, something equivalent to tanks in our terms. Miraculously, the small Jewish army defeated them and liberated Jerusalem, as well as the Holy Temple which had been previously captured and defiled by the worship of Zeus, and offering pigs on the Alter. It is only then that the miracle of the oil happened.  

Don’t Stop Fighting 

We all have seeds of pain and fear deep inside. Fears. Regrets. Things we think we can’t fix. Emotional battles. War-torn scars across our hearts. 

It’s extremely difficult to get our emuna all the way down into these dark places of our psyche. We can’t see Hashem in all this darkness. We can’t understand how any of this could possibly be good. We are overwhelmed by questions and a host of dark emotions stemming out of all those negative thoughts. 

Chanukah reminds us that if we will just hold on and keep fighting, eventually we are going to start seeing the miracles, just as the Maccabees did way back when. 

Fighting means fighting for our emuna! Learning about emuna, following the emuna coaching spiritual exercises, and praying every day for Hashem to help us. Even if we suffer defeats, we get up and keep going. We take the hit standing, and use it to propel us into even stronger prayer and even more determination to live according to the truth (Exercise 4). 

Just One Candle 

Chanukah also reminds us of the power of fire. Fire is dangerous in that it spreads quickly, consuming everything in its path. However, fire also creates heat, and can save us from the cold. 

The spiritual cold is the frozen fear, and the “who cares because tomorrow we die” attitude. And the fire is the fire of the burning desire to serve Hashem with our whole hearts and souls. 

The problem is: We don’t feel that fire right now. So Hashem comes to us in our personal darkness, on our spiritual sickbed, so to speak. 

And He begs us: “Don’t fight the darkness. You don’t have to light anything – the spark is already there. Just blow on it a little. Can you blow on just one little candle for Me?”  

The first candle is the pintele Yid. The tiny spark of Godliness that burns in all of us, fueled by the holy soul we all possess. It doesn’t matter how much mud is caked on a diamond – it remains a diamond, and nothing can break it.  

So too with us – a fire burns inside of us and even if you smother it with impurity, sin, and licentiousness, the last ember never, ever dies.  

Carve out a tiny, small space, some singular, small mitzvah that you can do, even in private, where no one will judge you for it. Pick up one of Rabbi Arush’s books and start reading, for example. Light that one candle. 

Now, give it a little time. Slowly, slowly.  

A Burning Inferno for Hashem 

And now, Hashem comes to us after a little time, the next evening. Can you light just one more candle?  

Add more Torah learning, more emuna – even just a page a day. Start speaking to Hashem in your own words, even 5 minutes a day. Try 18 thank you’s to Hashem every day. Add something. 

And if we’ll keep going, then we can turn that tiny spark into an inferno! We can take that frozen, scary place inside ourselves, and thaw it if we’ll take it very slow, and continue to stoke the fire inside.  

Instead of burning with anger and regret, we burn with the desire to make the most of whatever time we have left on this earth. Instead of being frozen in denial and fear, we are awake and alert, using the energy of the fire within to throw ourselves into the only thing we have that will protect us – trusting in Hashem, who is the only real Power who definitely can and will save us from the evil billowing around us. 

Believe that this fire can spread! And make it spread! One candle, and another candle. Spread the fire of emuna to your family and friends, to everyone you know. Your little candle can turn into a BLAZE! 

Until in no time at all, we get to Zot Chanukah, the pinnacle of it all, one of the holiest and most incredible days of the year – when we have a huge, burning blaze! Light, heat, and warmth. 

And then the most incredible miracle of it all – the rest of the day, there is no light anymore. The blaze burns through the night – but what about the morning? 

IT IS STILL CHANUKAH. Not only that, but it’s the most incredible day of them all – because on this day, now the light becomes part of us! And part of our hearts – to move forward, and hold onto all those candles we lit.  

To hold onto the energy, the fire, and keep it blazing inside.  

*** 

Rachel Avrahami grew up in Los Angeles, CA, USA in a far-off valley where she was one of only a handful of Jews in a public high school of thousands. She found Hashem in the urban jungle of university. Rachel was privileged to read one of the first copies of The Garden of Emuna in English, and the rest, as they say, is history. She made Aliyah and immediately began working at Breslev Israel.  
 

Rachel is now the Editor of Breslev Israel’s English website. She welcomes questions, comments, articles, and personal stories to her email: rachel.avrahami@breslev.co.il.