Ten Times is the Trick

Sometimes you think you are certain that you’ve finally succeeded, and you understand the concepts and disciplines required to live a proper Torah life.  And then Hashem shows you there’s still something missing!

If I’m correct, this is now my tenth reading of the Garden of Peace, and finally feel that I am starting to understand what our holy teacher and revered tzaddik HaRav Shalom Arush shlit”a is teaching us. It obvious that the nine times were inadequate to fully penetrate my heart!

There are only two powers in the world, that of giving, and that of taking.  No person can ever make a change in the way he relates to other people so long as he intends to continue taking.  Being a taker is grand theft in the eyes of Hashem and absolutely no way to connect to one’s wife, children or any other Jew for that matter.

A person is unable to make any changes of spiritual progress without great practical effort through Torah learning, communal prayers and personal prayer, and observance of all of the other commandments of the Holy Torah. So long as a person is openly rebelling against Hashem it will be near impossible for him to make any progress. This is not to say a person will not make mistakes or have setbacks, but when Hashem looks upon a soul, He knows the path that person is on.  To that end we must know something of extreme importance in serving Hashem, as Rabbi Shimshon Dovid Pincus osb”m said so poignantly: “There is no such thing as parve.”  Meaning, we’re either getting close to, or farther away from Hashem with each decision we make. Know this and understand this well – it applies to every circumstance of life.

Any person who is zealous of his honor and respect will find it extremely difficult to succeed at home.  However, a person who is filled with humility can be confident that Hashem will bless him, guard him and help him to be successful.  The reason being that he is displaying the characteristics of Hashem himself, who continually overlooks wrongs, displays patience, continues to shower us with all conceivable blessings regardless of our wrongdoings.

Embarrassment, humiliation, and shame are vessels that invoke a tremendous blessing and serve as immediate atonement for all types of sins. A person should rejoice with singing, dancing, and clapping of hands when he fortunate to receive with such an atonement that takes only a moment.  The Chofetz Chaim osb”m said that if people understand the value of being humiliated, they will go to the mikvah to immerse beforehand!

Hashem knows the thoughts and intentions of all people, whether for good or for evil.  Don’t think it’s possible to outsmart the King of Kings and the Wisest of the Wise. Start making practical efforts to solve your difficulties in life and for certain Hashem will help.  Laziness when it comes to repairing the damage you may have caused your wife through words, actions or negligence will only prolong the suffering and tribulations you may be enduring.

Despite the darkness, it is forbidden to lose hope that Hashem will have mercy.  If you keep strong and look at your life through the lenses of emuna, you will understand all your struggles, challenges, difficulties, and setbacks were indeed a blessing in disguise. The sooner we accept that no part of Hashem’s governance of the universe is wrong, the sooner we will be able to see salvations.

With blessings for marital peace and the full redemption of our people, Yehuda Hillel Gerlitz