Wow! Was That Me?

The main thing in our prayers is our intention and our intensity. Even if we’re getting on in years, we can still muster our strength and pray with intensity. We can still beg G-d for a new hip or an easy move to the assisted living facility! When we pray with intensity, G-d answers us much faster. There’s a huge difference between a nonchalant way of praying, as though we don’t really care so much whether it happens or not, and screaming and begging to G-d.

“G-d, I’m begging you! Send me more patience! I can’t take it anymore! I’m sick of anger, I want to get rid of anger, I’m sick of hurting the people I love the most in the world!” If we pray like that, we’ve got intensity and intention covered, and G-d will answer us speedily, because that’s all He really wants to see.

Our sages tell us that even if we’re not quite “there” yet; even if we’re not yet patient, or confident, or free from anger, that we should go and act as though we are. This is so well-known that it’s even common advice in the non-Jewish world, where they tell us to “fake it until we make it”.  It makes sense, because if we wait until we achieve all those things, it could be a very long time. Many people hold themselves back from “acting” different, because they are scared to take a risk. But when we believe in G-d, when we’re working on our emuna that G-d exists, and He really does want to give us this better way of being and behaving, then we can decide to just go for it. OK, I’ve never been patient in my life! But with G-d’s help, I’m going to act as though I’ve done it twenty times, already.

Most of us already have the “models” in our minds or in our lives that are the references that we need for the different required behaviors. We may not even remember, but grandma, grandpa, or your favorite teacher or camp counselor is still there in your unconscious ready to guide you, and when we need them they’ll kick in. All of a sudden, we’ll remember that uber-patient teacher, or uncle, or rabbi, or someone else who knew how to do very well what we need to do, and we’ll automatically start to copy them. Have emuna that they are still “there”, that they weren’t sent to you just for “then” but also for “now.” We’ve already got those mental notes for “how to be patient”, or “how to not be angry”, and once we show G-d our desire, intention and willingness to change, He’ll do the rest.

After the fact, after we’ve pulled off a “patient” situation, or after we’ve handled the job interview with confidence, we’ll look back and we’ll say: “Wow! Was that me? How did that happen?” You know for sure it’s not due to your own experience with confidence or success, because it’s the first time you ever succeeded in that particular way. What made all the difference was the Heavenly help that G-d was pouring down on you, which activated all that latent “patience” or “confidence” in you. And didn’t it feel good? Wasn’t it great to be able to have a heart-felt conversation with your kid, for the first time in years? Now, we need to say thank you to G-d, for His assistance.

Intensity, joy and a passion for life are the emotions that most people need more of today – not only in our relationship with G-d but in all of our relationships. We need to learn how to amp ourselves up by appreciating that we all have the power to choose a life that is more vital and alive. It’s only when a person is joyful and passionate that he can access all of who he is and all of what he is capable of doing. Calmness and relaxation are also positive emotions that we certainly need at times – but relaxation will never take us to the emotional and spiritual heights that intensity and passionate joy can lift us to.

So what holds us back from living with more spontaneity and freedom to crank up the joy that G-d put into all of us? It’s that we haven’t yet decided to do it. The second that you decide that you won’t waste another second of your life with blandness and mediocrity, you will already be growing your capacity to seize the very best from what life has to offer you.