Retaliating with Smiles

Even though we just knew each other from work, he was one of my good friends. Not a week would go by without us meeting up for lunch. I never thought he would try something like this.

“Dov, stop taking credit for my work. You know how much time I put into that report.”

That report? You mean my report. The report that three prospects were waiting for me to show them so they could become clients. The report I spent extra hours working on. The report you mysteriously asked me about last week, and now I know why.

“Dov, I am very disappointed. It’s not like you to take credit for someone else’s efforts. You need to go back to your desk and think things over. If you put up a fight I am going to write you up for insubordination. You know what that means, don’t you?”

Now my supervisor.

I know what happened. The supervisor needed something from my friend, and my friend needs a raise. They cut a deal. In business, right and wrong are often what’s in the interests of the players involved.

Now it’s my move.

Wall-Street trained, I know my next step. It’s up to me to destroy my former friend, and boy do I look forward to doing so. I have been at both ends of these battles and I know what comes next. There is nothing worse than disloyalty and now he has to pay.

But that was yesterday.

That was before Rav Arush taught me that Hashem decides everything. Every action in this world comes directly from G-d. He is the one yielding the stick. This episode has nothing to do with the players involved. They are props. Hashem is teaching me something.

What could it be?

1. Too Much Pride. The greatest gift Hashem gives us is the chance to earn our daily livelihood. We recite so many blessings over bread simply because it is the most labor intensive food to produce. We thank Hashem for allowing us to be a partner in creation. That’s why we earn a livelihood, it’s a kindness by Hashem to give us a role in His world. A little bit of pride is normal, but too much is bad. Our entire lives are a balancing act of putting in the effort to perform our task in this world, but remembering that it is all from Hashem, even the hard work. A good day’s work always fills me with pride. I needed to be cut down. Every emotion of anger and revenge I feel towards my colleague is nothing more than a reflection of the arrogance I have built up from too much pride.

2. Baseless Hatred. I work in Israel, so almost everybody I work with is Jewish. That means that I can justify each negative episode along the lines of  – it was a “Jew” who did it. A secular Jew, a left wing Jew, a right wing Jew – but not like me. I go through these ridiculous motions all the time. This is a test. Ever since I have been taking more seriously the mitzvah of ahavat chinam – free love without judgement, my life is so much sweeter. Looking at someone just to see the good in them has changed my attitude towards everything. I like being around people. I like getting excited for their victories, and honestly wanting them to succeed – even if it means they will outdo me. This is a real test. This is a chance to build up my “Love” muscle if I am up to it.

3. Give G-d back His world. We are forbidden to be angry. We are forbidden to take revenge. What are sins? They are man-made actions that interfere with Hashem’s running the world. If I sin, I cannot see what Hashem is doing. I cannot see the truth behind this chain of events. If I use my personal judgment to “override” Hashem’s commandments, then I am blurring His world, and I can’t see His wisdom in it. Anyone who works too hard at anything knows that there comes a point where they feel that they can do anything. That takes G-d out of the world. The real challenge is to approach every task in life with the certainty that it can be done, but the faith that it cannot happen without Hashem. It’s up to me to swallow my pride, that other man-made mutation, and let it go. Hashem commands me to retaliate with a smile, and nothing more.

4. Get Close to Hashem. Every tough circumstance in life brings us closer. When we are in a situation where we feel there is nobody to turn to, we do what comes naturally. We cling to Hashem with renewed determination. If I can see this for what it is, a way to get back to G-d, I should be dancing! I should be thanking Hashem for wanting me to come close to Him. What an act of love!

This is the opportunity. I can tell Hashem every time I see these people that I love Him. That I have faith in Him. That I truly appreciate all that has happened to me, because this is an opportunity for personal growth.

Thank You, Hashem, for giving me this test. I will smile every time I see these people.