Seasonal Fruit

Dear Racheli,

I’m a 35-year-old married man, and father of three children, ages 8,5, and 2. My wife and I are baal teshuvas, and we have been considering the idea of making aliyah. However, my main concern is earning a living in Israel. My Hebrew doesn’t really exist beyond my daily prayers, and I just don’t see how we will be able to live comfortably there. I don’t want to put my family under unnecessary stress; our life is very nice here.

Chaim

Dear Chaim,

You have an extremely valid point. It is very irresponsible just to jump into such a big decision without thoroughly looking at it from all angles. There are many factors to consider when thinking about aliyah, such as finances, children’s ages, type of town, level of religious observance, and so on.

Let’s look at the most inhibiting factor, which is finances. Foremost in your mind is the concern about earning a living. Of course this is a valid and vital concern. If you are serious about moving, you should start researching which companies have opportunities for someone in your field, and plan interviews, at least over the phone. It is definitely recommended to come here with a savings that will last several months at the minimum, and a few job opportunities already lined up.

But, this is not what’s really holding you back.

I want to clarify something for you: many Westerners, i.e., Americans, have a certain level of lifestyle that they are used to. They like their weekly dinner and a movie. They like their Sunday football fanaticism. They like their two luxury car per family plus a hot sports car per 16-year-old. Hopefully there’s just one of those in the house at a time. The kid, I mean.

Then, we have to take into account the two weeks off during the summer that many American Jews simply can’t live without, plus the other mandatory week to two weeks off for Xmas and the goyish New Year. And let’s not forget those insanely high credit card bills that add to the holiday cheer.

Let’s add Sundays off, which means more money is being spent than earned (I know, I’m a genius,) usually on football excursions, dinners, and movies that hopefully make you forget about your life for two hours. Don’t forget the Jew’s Shabbat meals after Shabbat, which are celebrated every Sunday with bagels in the morning and Chinese take-out at night.

Wow, it looks like Sunday is turning out to be the most expensive day of the week! Luckily for us in Israel, Sunday is a regular workday and school day! Booyah!

Speaking of school, I remember that when my oldest one was just entering kindergarten, our yearly school bill was over $10,000! And that’s just for one kid! It’s more shocking to me than to you, because Praise da Lord, school here is practically FREE. That right there should have been enough to get you on the next plane over. Let’s imagine your three kids in private school. Above the $30,000 for straight tuition alone, you have their social expenses, their food expenses (maybe we should include that in the social expenses,) their personal expenses (that, too should probably be included in the social,) and every other expense that doesn’t have to do with school.

I guess you can say there are two categories of expenditures for a child: school and social. Oops, I almost forgot about camp! Tag on another $1,500 per kid. And if they go to sleep-away camp, forgetaboutit! I don’t even know how much that costs!

Seriously, we could end this article right here.

But, no. I feel compelled to continue. Chaim, I suggest you make a chart of current expenses side by side with a chart of potential expenses in Israel. Let me point out that Israel has an exceptional railway and bus system, and if you happen to live in Bet Shemesh and find a job in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem, there are many comfortable options that don’t involve you having to schlep in a car (which can be quite expensive. Just ignore that little part.)

I’m going to stop my rambling here and focus on something not so frequently discussed. Let me preface my point with a personal story. When we made aliyah, it was mid-August, and all of the usual fruits and vegetables were available at the store. At least, they were usual for me, because having come from Miami, everything was available nearly all the time.

Well, things were great until about after Yom Kippur, when the store suddenly stopped carrying their summer fruits, like grapes and bananas. Or was it oranges and strawberries? Whatever. Doing like the Israelis do, I got offended for many months, until the stores started carrying these fruits again. I almost took it as a personal attack that the store didn’t import red grapes in the middle of January.

I only managed to get over this heartbreaking betrayal when I received an amazing insight.

You see, Chaim, our American lifestyle is one of “I can have what I want, when I want it, and as much of it as I want.” In other words, we Americans live a gluttonous lifestyle. We are used to having everything, without limitations, and with tremendous ease. Who needs to cook when there are 10 restaurants lined up and down your block?

I know I’m about to go off-topic, but I just have to share a funny story with you. When we came on our pilot trip, it was Chol Hamoed Pesach, and we were walking through Ramat Bet Shemesh “Bet,” which is like Mea Shearim (the Ultra-Orthodox section) of Jerusalem. I stopped one lady who was walking by us and asked her where the restaurants were. She gave me a strange look and kept on walking.

This example might not be so off-topic after all. If we look at the fruit example and the crazy tourist who fell from the moon example, we can see that they both have something in common: both circumstances teach us to live within our means!

It may seem like a stretch to you, but to me it actually makes sense. In Israel, things are not as easy as pie (sorry, I couldn’t help myself.) There is not as much materialism to choose from, and this is a wonderful thing. To give you a concrete example, let’s say I lived on that block where those 10 restaurants were. I can promise you that each time I would drive by them, I would not only want to eat at one of them, but I would be resentful that my husband is too cheap to buy me dinner and insists on making me slave away in the kitchen. I’m serious.

Living in a slightly more restrictive physical reality is not only good for you; it’s great for your children. Imagine what a chesed you would be doing for them by teaching them that they should not expect everything to be at their fingertips! What humble, balanced children you will raise, imparting on them the wisdom that life isn’t only about ease and materialism! There are few things I hate more than a spoiled brat, and America is full of them.

I hope that you can begin to understand that your fears are really rooted in your desire to maintain the same level of lifestyle as you have now. Most likely, that won’t happen – unless you win the lottery, which you shouldn’t be playing anyway. Now, if you’re wealthy, then my entire argument probably went out the window. On the other hand, maybe it’s even more valid! I’m confusing myself.

My husband and I share one car. We are seven people living in a three bedroom apartment. We don’t have central air. We have 1 ½ bathrooms. And, you know what? We couldn’t be happier or more fulfilled.

Know, Chaim, that if you do decide to make aliyah because you sincerely want to get closer to Hashem, you will be happy and fulfilled, even when the challenges come. And, they will come. I guess the most important thing that you must clarify for yourself is: what are you living for? Do you want to live the life that Hashem wants for you? Obviously He wants you to live it here.

May Hashem bless you with the clarity to see what’s most important in your life. If you do decide to make aliyah, may it be a smooth and fast move, Amen!

Racheli