Uman: We Are One

Stan Matthews is Director of Professional Football at SuperSports and a leading sports media executive in South Africa
 
Last year was my second time to Uman. I found the first experience quite overwhelming (the vast magnitude and variety of people and the myriad of activities, shiurim, minyanim, visiting the holy grave sites of the tzaddikim) so I wanted to go back again and experience the spiritual turbo boost with the benefit of hindsight the second time around. On my first trip I tried to do too much and found it hard to absorb conscious ‘take-home’ action steps to enhance my Judaism.
 
It’s difficult to describe a journey which takes you so far away from your family at Rosh Hashanah, places you in an environment of hostility from the Ukrainian locals, where conditions (weather, accommodation, food, travel, congestion etc) are mediocre at best and the schedule is jam-packed – and yet at the end of the week away you feel invigorated, inspired and focused on specific areas of life that you want to take to the next level as a better Jew, husband, father, friend and businessman.
 
The main thing is to connect with Hashem, recognize His sovereignty over every aspect of our lives, and resolve meaningful ways to improve ourselves from this year to next. Above all, to recognize the good points in ourselves and others, to perform our mitzvot with simcha and not to be too self-critical, feel despair or be critical of others when we do slip up because no-one is perfect and we all have our own mountain to climb.
 
The whole Uman experience, and Breslev philosophy generally in many ways mirrors what life is all about – you can choose your own personal pathway and take on as much as you really want to. So if you want to daven Neitz, attend countless shiurim, help in the food tents, go to mikva, study Torah, do Tikkun Klali ten times a day, visit Rebbe Nachman’s grave, do personal prayer (hitbodedut) in the Botanical Gardens and round it off with Tikkun Chatzot – you can. Equally you can join any one of over a thousand minyanim a day, say Tehillim on the banks of the Uman river, get a Brachah from a great Rabbi like Rav Shalom Arush and take things a bit easier which is also fine – it’s about being true to your level and your threshold – it’s a discovery of self.
 
We can fall into traps of stereotyping ourselves, or feeling pressured to conformity or anonymity in our observance. But when you are surrounded by 40,000 ‘strangers’ of the most varying degree, from shtreimels, peyes, and black hats to the Jew with torn jeans, sandals, and tattoos – you grasp instantaneously that we ALL have a share in Hashem and in Torah. We are one. We are Jews. So you can sing, dance, and daven with the stranger next to you without a care in the world – just immense gratitude that you are a Jew and that your brother on your arm wants to crown Hashem as King just like you do. It’s a humbling yet liberating feeling. If you have been part of a mass unity crowd before, such as a Maccabee opening ceremony, dancing with the soldiers at the Kotel or singing Hatikvah at Yad Vashem on Holocaust Day – then you will understand the inspiration of unity, pride, and passion for who you are and where you come from.
 
I had no intention of going back a second time – I just went to experience something special as one would go on the march of the living in Poland  or to visit Kever Rochel or the Mikvah of the Arizal in Israel – mainly for a unique life experience and a connection with our roots. But then my year unfolded and I felt that I had grown from the experience, expanded my vision and moved forward in my life so I went back again.
 
But I’m not going to be one of those that have to go every year of my life, or even commit mentally to going ever again. I don’t feel obligated in any way, it’s about listening to my inner voice and seeing if it feels right to go and if my wife Shardi is supportive of me going (which she has been because she sees and feels the evolution in me as a person and how that impacts our family life in a positive way). We are one , a team , and whatever I do in Uman or anywhere is for our family. Likewise, if Shardi goes on a women’s tour to Israel or other excursion where she wants to connect with her roots, heritage, and family history, she has my full support.
 
I always approached Rosh Hashanah with a view of teshuva for my failings of  the past year and a ream of requests and hopes for the year ahead. I guess a self-centered approach. The Uman experience had a big impact on redirecting my primary energy and focus on strengthening my Emuna and being more conscious of Hashem’s Divine Providence in running the world, thanking Him for all the blessings I have in my life and finding ways of strengthening my connection to Him by building on the positive attributes I can bring in my service of Him, to the core relationships in my life and to the Jewish community at large. Shanah Tova!