The Genuine Facebook

I have a confession to make. I do not have a Facebook account, although I have seen what a Facebook page looks like because my older daughter showed me photos of one of my grandnieces that were posted. I emailed my nephew that I don’t have a Facebook account so please send photos to my email account. Months have transpired and I’m still waiting for the photos. I guess he doesn’t believe that there exists someone in the world without Facebook.

Does Facebook really lead to developing a full and rich relationship with other human beings? I know an elderly woman, Laura*, who converted to Judaism and eventually  moved to Israel with her Israeli husband. After her husband passed away she remained in Israel. Finding the language and Israeli mentality too difficult, she eventually decided to return to the US.
 

 
One of her sons found a home for her in a retirement village in Connecticut. She would only be a 45-minute drive away from her son and his family. Due to a severe health issue she cannot drive, and so she was dependent upon her son visiting her. That hardly happened. She decided to return to Jerusalem and give living in Israel another try.
 
After a while she felt once again that living in Israel was too difficult for her. She spoke about moving to Texas and living in the same housing complex as her other son. Her final decision surprised me. She decided to move to Florida where she has a girlfriend with whom she would spend time. (She must have been wary about her second son spending time with her.)
 
As the famous and wise adage goes, “Don’t put all of your eggs into one basket,” the friend that Laura had counted on to do things with is too busy with her circle of friends.  Most of the day her friend sits in front of the computer and visits her friends on Facebook. Although Laura is computer savvy, she is not looking for a Facebook relationship. Like Coke, she wants the real thing. Laura is lonely once again.
 
What is so attractive about Facebook that over 750 million users have become Facebook fans? There are numerous reasons: the facility with which one can keep up with family and friends; the ability to track down friends and relatives from one’s past and communicate electronically with them; the wide audience one can reach in order to sell a product, service, idea, etc.; the ability to post photos of oneself; the ability for home-bound people to be in touch with others; and it is a windfall for socially awkward people to be in contact with others without being judged or ridiculed, etc. These are some of the reasons that Facebook has become a household word.
 
Recently I participated in two Torah classes and both touched upon Psalm 27 written by Israel’s second king, King David. It is a psalm that is recited twice daily from the first of the Hebrew month of Elul through the holiday of Shemini Atzeret which follows the holiday of Sukkot. There is a verse in it which has been set to many diverse  and popular tunes. Its translation is as follows: “One thing I asked of G-d—that I will seek–that I dwell in the House of G-d all the days of my life, to behold the sweetness of Hashem and to visit in His Sanctuary.”
 
On a simple level this verse can be understood as King David’s request to be able to build a Holy Temple and to be able to visit G-d in the Holy Temple. (This request was not granted because his hands had been sullied by war. His son Shlomo was chosen to build the holy Temple.)
 
The teacher showed us that there seems to be a redundancy. First, King David writes “I asked” and shortly afterwards “I will seek”. If he is asking a question, why does he need the word a’va’kesh, “I will seek”?
 
The interpretation the teacher gave is that there is no redundancy. King David is asking that he will always merit to seek G-d.  Seeking G-d is an end to itself. Further proof to this interpretation comes later on in this psalm when King David states, “In Your behalf my heart has said, “Seek My face;Your Face, G-d, do I seek.”
 
Everyone has a need to be connected through a relationship. Let’s face it (no pun intended); we are social beings. Our first relationship is with our mothers. Whether the infant is breast or bottle-fed there is contact of mother eyes with baby eyes. A baby is programmed to seek faces. A baby will even smile at a picture of a face, but the infant’s mother is his/her favorite face.
 
In colloquial Hebrew there is an expression im arba ai’na’im which means “with four eyes.” It is used when you want someone to pay attention to you. Real honest-to-goodness attention.  
 
The relationship that one can develop with G-d is very different from a Facebook relationship. No one beats G-d in giving you His full attention. G-d has all the time in the world and then some. A relationship with G-d is multi-dimensional. He knows your favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor; He knows about the difficult time you are having in finding a suitable marriage partner; He knows that you are working hard at being a better daughter, etc. You can always trust G-d, even when He does things that you can’t comprehend. You can tell Him whatever is on your mind. You can reveal whatever is in your heart. You can have as deep and meaningful a relationship with G-d as you choose to have.
 
The late Rabbi Bulman stated, “A profoundly religious person says, ‘As long as I’m close to G-d, He’s with me. If He’s not with me it, means that I’ve lost my connection.'”
 
The Jewish soul is always seeking G-d, whether we are aware of it or not. Unlike Facebook, our connection to G-d requires no electricity, no computer, no bills. G-d is facing us 24/7. Let’s reciprocate.
 
*not her real name