Change Your Life – Part 3
You can change your life, and live a longer, happier life with less stress...
In Theft of the Century – Part 1 of this series, I explained how social media robs us of our basic humanity by pressuring us to present a perfect – and fake – version of ourselves online. In Break Free – Part 2, I offered a compelling list of important things that social media can, and does, steal from us. Now, I want to present some easy ways to change your time spent on social media in practice.
Getting off social media is one of the greatest ways to liberate yourself from the shackles of personal slavery. You might think I am exaggerating, but the need to respond to the “ding” of the latest notification is real. Like any great leap into freedom, it can be difficult.
The whole thought of giving up social media can be terrifying. What will I do with myself? How will I not be bored all the time? Who will I speak to? What about all my groups and “friends”?
The consolation is that there are thousands of people who have already answered the question: How can I stop using social media? They all say that after the initial shock of such a lifestyle change, they get used to it. The benefits of being off are generally felt immediately.
Here are some pointers towards making it happen:
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1. Ask God for Help
We are commanded to ask Hashem for help in everything big or small. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Dedicate part of your daily personal prayer to asking Hashem for help in overcoming the pull to social media. If you don’t speak to God, why not start now? Take 10 minutes out of your day and ask Him to help you leave Facebook. If you still aren’t convinced that you need to leave, ask Hashem to show you how it is impacting your life, and if it is really better for you to get off. Don’t believe me – let G-d Himself show you the truth!
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2. Concentrate on the Benefits
Along with the freedom you enjoy, there are other immediate benefits you get right away. You will sleep more and feel rested throughout the day. Your creativity will skyrocket. You will have a lot less stress and your body will feel it. You will have free time to do with as you please. You will feel better emotionally, sparing yourself the upset about things that never impacted your life anyway.
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3. Make a Diary
Write a daily journal of how many minutes you spent on social media before you made the change, and how many minutes you spend each day since. Write down, from a scale of 1-10, how you are enjoying each benefit, and if you are feeling any additional ones. Track your progress and celebrate the improvements to your life.
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4. Set Filters on Your Phone and Your Computer
There are some great applications on the market that will prevent you from going on the sites you don’t want to be on. Just make sure to give someone you trust the passwords and never let them tell you.
Rabbi Arush is extremely strong about the pitfalls of unfiltered Internet be it using a smartphone or a computer, and unequivocally bans its use, even for non-Jews. A strong Internet filter that cannot be easily turned off is an absolute must.
If you live in Israel, there are quite a few companies that offer this service. Of them, Etrog and Netiv have Rabbinical approval. Netiv is now in the USA as well with an English version of its approved application, providing an excellent option for Internet filtering in America.
Besides keeping you away from the filth of the Internet in general, the best way to keep yourself off social media, is to never give yourself the ability to get on! It’s a real addiction, and just like an alcoholic can never let alcohol in the door, you’ll do best wiping away the ability to even just “check in” to social media for “just a minute” altogether.
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5. Plan Ahead
Determine the times you feel you are most vulnerable to going back on social media and plan something. You can volunteer. Read a book or learn Torah. Go out for coffee. Have dinner with your wife, your parents, friends – real ones. Advance your career with a weekly class, networking event, or participating in a trade organization. Spend some special time with your kids – no doubt they will be thrilled that you finally got off the internet to focus on them!
Make sure you are keeping busy – especially those times when you are most vulnerable.
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6. Walk a Lot
Did you know that walking for one hour burns 300 calories? If you put 15 pounds in your knapsack and carry it, you can lose 350 calories in an hour! Besides which, a daily brisk walk is one of the common denominators of those who live longer, healthier lives.
A walk is a great way to see the world around you and regain your creativity, sense of self, and connection to G-d. It’s a way to get back one of the most vital qualities that enable us to function well in this world: patience.
While walking, you can talk to Hashem, listen to Torah lectures, walk with friends and family, or just look at everything around you and say thank You to Hashem for it.
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7. Discover a New Hobby
One of the silver linings in the Facebook cloud is that we learn how much time and energy we can put into something if we like it enough. Find something new about yourself. Google “top 100 hobbies” and see if there is anything you would like to do.
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8. Find a Support Group – or Start One of Your Own
Want to change the world? The impact of social media is destroying everything. Anyone who gets off of it is literally saving themselves. Anyone who helps others is saving mankind. See if there are any support groups for people trying to get off social media. It’s the perfect remedy, replacing virtual friends for real ones.
If you cannot find one, why not start up one of your own?
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9. Reward Yourself
This is not a simple thing you are doing. A higher percentage of people complete basic training in the military than succeed in what you are trying to accomplish. Make sure to give yourself a pat on the back.
The hardest phase is the first week. Reward yourself for going 24 hours without it. Then again for going three days. Plan something nice if you hurdle your first full week sans twitter. Keep it up at regular intervals.
There is a science behind recovering alcoholics saying, “I have been sober for 2,344 days.” Every day is a struggle. Every day is a challenge and some days are harder than others. For every day you survive, it’s a victory of the spirit over the body. It’s the light of your soul declaring victory over the forces of darkness in this world.
Make sure you remind yourself each day you survive outside the swamp.
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