Children of our Mother

Translated from Rabbi Arush’s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna. 

It’s better to go to a house of… 

As an Israeli rabbi, you get to accompany Jews at happy times, weddings, britot (circumcisions), and bar mitzvot, but also in times of sorrow, may it not come upon you. “A time for eulogy and a time for dance,” as the wisest of men said. 

But such a request – I had never had.  

I was told that there is a family sitting shiva who are asking me to come. A relatively young woman had died, leaving a husband and orphaned children. But they emphasized that they don’t want the rabbi “to come to console us, to give us strength; we want the rabbi to come and sing with us!” 

“To sing?!” “Yes, we want to sing with you and with all the family and those who came to comfort us the song “Hashem yitbarach always loves me, and I will always have only good…” 

I went to visit them. Simple people, living somewhere around Tel Aviv. It was amazing. For a long time, we sang that song together. We also sang Mizmor Letoda (a song of thanks) and other songs of thanks and praise to Hashem. What amazed me even more was that they told me that they had done the same at the funeral – they simply sang during the entire funeral! 

The Jewish People have strong people, people who have emuna (faith). Unfortunately, in the past year we have had so many funerals and so many houses have been houses of mourning. We all see and hear parents and families who are so powerful that when you come to support them, you end up being supported yourself. Over the years, I have seen my students from the yeshiva or those who have studied my books and listened to my classes hold on to their emuna and their gratitude towards Hashem while experiencing extremely difficult nisyonot (tests, trials). 

Still, there was something in this particular situation that I understood as being the fulfillment of a sort of prophecy in Chazal’s writings, and actually a breakthrough in the process of the Geula (Redemption).  

Thanking Hashem with Love 

More than a decade ago I was privileged to publish the book “She’arav Betoda” (in English, The Garden of Gratitude), which deals with thanking both for the good and for things that seem to us to be bad. The book is a direct continuation and one level above the book The Garden of Emuna; it is the refinement of the practical emuna in one’s life. 

When the book was published – and the responses were quick in coming – I said explicitly that in the Days to Come people will sing at funerals and in the homes of the mourners – and now we see it happening! 

This is not my own idea. The Gemara already says that in our times we say the blessing hatov vehameitiv’ (Who is good and Who does good) when receiving good news, and the blessing of Baruch dayan ha’emet (Blessed be the true judge) on news that is not good. But in the Days to Come people will say hatov vehameitiv on everything – the good and the bad – because they will be able to see for themselves that nothing is bad.  

And when Jews in this world who are going through impossible nisyonot (tests) sing enthusiastically to Hashem “You love me, and You do only good for me” – there is no clearer evidence of the End of Days that that! 

And if we are already talking about impossible trials, one of the influential people in the media told how he was invited to spend Simchat Torah together with families that had lost their loved ones, families of hostages, and survivors of the Nova party. 

He was very worried. He didn’t know what the holiday would be like. He asked himself: It will be the day of Simchat Torah – but will there be simcha there? Will there be dancing and singing? Are people in such situations able to sing at all? And moreover – on the anniversary of their loved ones that is marked by so much emotional pain? And if so, what will they sing? Perhaps only songs expressing the pain and quiet songs? 

What happened in the end? He says that they sang the song “Hashem yitbarach always loves and I will always have only good” – again and again and again, and he was in shock! 

Discovering the Love 

Rabbeinu determines in Likutei Moharan that the Geula (Redemption) will come in the merit of emuna – when emuna will be revealed among the Jewish People. And this is exactly that! Because clearly the issue is not the emuna that Hashem is in the world, rather the belief that Hashem loves me, and that Hashem is a good father and does only good and loves all Jews and loves me, and only good will happen to me! That is faith! That is what will bring the Geula! 

I always believed in that and that is why I wrote and spoke endlessly for all those years about emuna, and with Hashem’s grace I also saw results – more than a few results and wonderful fruits of my labors; but nothing even came close to what we have been seeing in the past few months… 

I asked myself all the time: What can one do so that the words of emuna will reach every Jew, to all Jewish people? What can one do to bring about a true revolution? 

And here we are – Hashem yitbarach in His mercy and loving kindness has spread this song to all Jews, and there is no Jew in Israel or abroad who is not familiar with it; it is broadcast everywhere, endlessly! And I mean everywhere – even three-year-old children who come to me for their chalakeh (getting their first haircut) sing this song to me, and in many schools throughout the country, in all parts of society, they use this song as the school bell.  

And that is perhaps the greatest revelation of love: Hashem yitbarach wants to tell us that He loves us, He wants us to know how much He loves us because He wants us to believe in Him truly – that He is a loving father.  

Treatment with Love 

Jews are not only singing this; it is really touching the hearts of so many people. It is encouraging so many people, and it is simply saving and giving strength to so many people, because it imbues them with emuna, and emuna is all the good in the world and the source of all emotional good health.  

We are seeing amazing siyata dishmaya (aid from Above), when the core of emuna goes forth and is revealed in such simple words that revive people’s hearts like a drink of cold water given to a tired and thirsty person on a hot day.  

Someone who has worked for many years in treating emotional problems was exposed to this song in Uman last Rosh Hashanah, and he said that all the foundations of treatment and of healing the deep parts of soul are embedded in it. Thanks to hearing the song, he read the booklet Simchat Chaim (in English: True Happiness) and that made him understand how many of the lessons he uses in his treatments need to be refined, and he decided to change his entire way of treatment! 

Coping – With Love 

Coping with loss is the hardest thing. In ancient times, non-Jews had the custom of tearing out their hair and wounding themselves out of despair and heartbreak. And here the Torah is telling us that the Jews have a different way to cope: 

“You are children of Hashem, your G-d. Do not lacerate yourselves or make bald patches in the middle of your heads for the dead.” ¹ 

All the commentators explain the connection between the prohibition of making bald patches for the dead and the words “You are children of Hashem”. The way to cope with a death with gevurah (fortitude) and emuna is only by knowing that we are Hashem’s beloved children! 

Look at what the Ibn Ezra writes, the commentator noted for always sticking to the simplest meaning of the scriptures:

“When you know that you are Hashem’s children and that he loves you more than a father loves a son – do not lacerate [yourselves] for everything He does, because everything He does is for the good. And if you don’t understand Him, the way young children don’t understand their father’s action yet trust him, so you should do as well, because you are a holy nation and you are not like other nations; therefore, you will not do what they do.” ² 

In the weekly parasha, we declare that loss is the beginning of life: The first Mother of our nation, to whom we owe so much, passes away, and the parasha that is named after her is full of life and blessing and chessed to the Jews for all generations. That is why this parasha is called Chayei Sara. In this parasha the first Jewish home is established, a home of chessed and prayer, because the Jewish People see and find life and love, good and the great light, even when experiencing a painful loss! 

¹ Devarim (Deuteronomy) 14:1 

² Ibn Ezra on Devarim 14:1