I Still Want Him

Dear Racheli,

My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me. I thought we would get married, and that’s why I agreed to live with him. I’m devastated. He’s such a wonderful guy, and I have hope that he will come back to me. What can I do to make him come back? Please help!

Daniella

Daniella,

I’m suffering from food coma after devouring a large bowl of fake plant pasta with meat sauce, so I hope my answer – hold up!

You WHAT?!

A guy that you devoted two years of your life to, two years of your heart, two years of your efforts, TWO YEARS of laundering his drawers and stinky socks and cooking his dinner, TWOOOO YEARSSS of your body, and he left you??

And you want him back?!?!?!

WHY?????

Listen, girl, let me share with you one critical rule, from woman to woman.

If a guy leaves you, for ANY reason, NEVER, EVER, EVERRRR CHASE HIM!!!

Got that, ladies??

By chasing him you are showing him and yourself that you have no self-respect and don’t think that you can get better.

Daniella, he doesn’t want to be with you. There’s no point in still thinking that you will be together. And you know what else? The fact that you’re not open to the possibility that Hashem has someone better in store for you shows that you need to strengthen your emuna.

Before a person is born, his other half is already assigned to him. So if you’re not married to this guy, you can be sure he’s not your other half.

However! Just because you shouldn’t try to get him back, it doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to work on. Look back on this relationship and examine your behavior. Which areas can use a little (or a lot of) improvement?

For example, are you demanding? Lazy? Selfish? Inconsiderate? Nagging? Unwilling to consider another point of view? Stingy with compliments? Do you complain a lot? The list of bad character traits is endless. Whatever you find in your behavior that was less than wonderful, now is the perfect time for you to work on changing it.

Plus, you have a priceless opportunity to ask Hashem for exactly the guy you want. Make a list and be specific! Even his income is important to mention. His spiritual desires are especially important! Even the type of father you want him to be is important! And don’t forget the looks! I mean, would it be so terrible to ask for a super handsome guy?

I am confident that if you ask Hashem for help in these two crucial areas, He will be more than happy to answer you! Don’t forget – nothing is too difficult for Hashem! He’s just waiting for you to ask!

Warmest Blessings,

Racheli