Behind the New Door

A friend of mine recently lost her job. She’d been working for the same company for over 20 years, so understandably she took it hard. We had a long talk about it, and she told me what bothered her more than anything.

 

“It’s not the fact that I lost my job that I’m most upset about,” she said. “It’s the fact that I’ve given so much money in tithing and tzedaka, and now I have no income. Our Sages say we can test Hashem in the area of money if we’re giving ma’aser. Well I’m testing Hashem and so far, nothing.”

 

Hmmm. I was stumped. I mean, what could I say? She had already asked several different rabbis and had been unsatisfied with their answers. So I suggested we go out for a coffee and some carb-free, sugar-free, gluten-free pancakes. She got so confused that she forgot about the fact that I didn’t have an answer for her.

 

Nonetheless, I thought about it for the rest of the day, and an interesting thought crossed my mind. Like, it didn’t actually sit there. It was passing through on its way to its final destination. Luckily I managed to get an imprint of what it looked like as it raced in one ear and out the other.

 

The blurred thought looked something like this: what if Hashem had other plans for her beyond what she was familiar with? What if there were talents and strengths she had that she didn’t yet realize existed?

 

Maybe Hashem was giving her an opportunity to go out of her comfort zone and reveal different sides of herself. Maybe if she had stayed with the same job for another 20 years, she might never have the desire to see what else she’d be good at.

 

I gave her my opinion which turned out to be completely unwelcome. It’s okay, though. We’re still friends. Even though she didn’t want to hear it, I felt that I was onto something because she was so forcefully resisting what I had to say. Of course it could be that she just didn’t want to talk to me, but I’m not buying that excuse.

 

I asked her all kinds of questions about herself that she just couldn’t answer, such as: what do you like to do? What are you good at? What talents, special abilities, or strengths do you have? Do you have a hobby?

 

The fact that she couldn’t answer any of these questions showed me that she clearly had so much undiscovered territory within. Interestingly, not only was she not able to answer these questions; she didn’t even want to think about them.

 

I told her the first thing she should do was to talk to Hashem and ask Him to enlighten her and help her figure out what she likes and what she’s good at. And then she told me to go do it for her.

 

Once I heard that, the picture became crystal clear.

 

Now this is only my opinion, but it seems to me that one reason Hashem took away her job was in order to force her to access her potential to excel in different areas than she was used to.

 

She had always lived in a box, never making waves, never taking risks, never trying new things. She was safe.

 

You know what I think about being safe? I think it’s not how Hashem wants us to live. We’re not robots who aren’t alive and don’t explore their potential.

 

We are human – exciting, adventurous, multi-faceted, talented, and wicked smart. That’s not to say we need to quit our jobs and go hiking in Tibet. But we absolutely need to try to figure out what we’re good at.

 

Hashem gave each and every one of us a special gift, and it’s up to us to figure out what it is. And it could be that we have more than one gift!

 

I look at my own progress through life and I’m astounded by how many gifts Hashem has given me. And I’m not saying it with ego! But I guarantee you that each one of you will find plenty of gifts if you’re open to discovering them.

 

The difference between me and my friend is that I am naturally open to exploring different avenues. I like to try new things to see what I’d be good at. It’s fun! My friend, on the other hand, has no interest in trying to figure out what she’s good at. She just wants to make a living doing what she already knows.

 

Unfortunately I haven’t managed to convince her, but I hope that if she’s still talking to me after she reads this article, she’ll be more open to starting her exciting journey of self-discovery.

 

I hope that when she does, Hashem will quickly enlighten her as to what she could be great at. This could open up the doors to all of the blessings that Hashem wants to give her, money included.

 

The same goes for you out there. If you’re stuck in a rut and nothing seems to be working for you, now’s a great opportunity for you to see what else you’d be great at. I promise you have tons of gifts that are waiting for you behind Door #2! But first you have to stop opening Door #1 and expect a new car to magically appear. It just ain’t going to happen!