A Man of Valor

We always hear about the woman of valor – the aishet chayil; what about the man of valor, the ish chayil? This is the type of man who can truly gratify the woman of valor. She doesn’t want to settle for less.

The man of valor is the man who has conquered lust and has merited rectifying personal holiness. That doesn’t happen overnight. Meanwhile, by virtue of the fact that the individual is striving for spiritual gain and self-improvement, he’ll be encountering many challenges and difficulties on the way. If he maintains his joy, his setbacks will be short and minor and his ability to recover will be so strong that his setbacks will turn into triumphs that propel him even further forward. But if he doesn’t work on joy, his setbacks will become long, agonizing periods of gloom that could lead to even deeper falls. So if you’ve fallen, get back on your feet! Joy and resilience go hand in hand.

Agility is a wonderful attribute in serving Hashem. It’s also a necessary trait for a man of valor.  If a soldier falls in battle, he can’t think about what happened and why he fell; he must get back on his feet immediately and continue fighting. The same goes for the battle against the evil inclination; if someone falls and did something wrong, that’s done and over with! Get up and move forward! Even a fall is from Hashem and all for the best. But, if a person reacts with sadness and depression, a mere fall turns into total defeat. Yet with joy, a person can move forward, pray and do teshuva, and continue toward the ultimate victory of character refinement, building emuna and rectifying personal holiness.

The word hitchazkut in Hebrew literally means “self-strengthening”, but it refers more accurately to the truly brave person who encourages himself during times of difficulties and finds reasons to be happy. Throughout their teachings, Rebbe Nachman and Rebbe Natan speak about this type of self-strengthening. Once, Rebbe Natan was telling stories about the great tzaddikim. He said, “This tzaddik attained such a high spiritual level because he had the quality of hitchazkut. And, that tzaddik attained an even higher spiritual level because he had the quality of hitchazkut. And, the third tzaddik attained the highest spiritual level of his generation because he was a master of hitchazkut.”

Rebbe Natan merited in becoming Rebbe Nachman’s prime disciple by virtue of his own amazing measure of self-strengthening – keeping his spiritual and emotional head above water during times of indescribable tribulations. Never succumbing to sadness, despair or bitterness, Rebbe Natan doggedly held on to any and every tiny reason to be happy always. We see the results of his efforts in the volumes of his priceless writings that he left us.

Holiness is dependent on joy and self-strengthening. Self-strengthening is an entire subject on its own that a person must learn and pray for until it becomes second nature. The more a person is capable of strengthening and encouraging himself, the faster he’s back on his feet after a fall.

If a person is depressed because of whatever he has blemished, you can’t just tell him to be happy. At that moment, he is not capable. It’s like telling a poor person to get a million dollars right away. Especially, since personal holiness depends on joy – if the person at the moment is badly blemished – he doesn’t have the capability of feeling joy on his own. We must help him by adjusting the way he looks at things.

Rebbe Nachman says that desire is more important than anything. As long as a person has desire, he can dance with joy! This book is not an instant remedy – you can’t become Moses in two weeks. But, you can desire to be an upright and righteous person, no matter where you are on the current spiritual ladder. No one can stop you from desiring! Here’s the greatest reason to be happy no matter where you are and no matter what you’ve done: Hashem doesn’t care so much about where you are now, He cares about where you want to be! Even if you’ve taken a steep fall, as long as you have the desire to improve and the desire to seek Hashem no matter what, you have every reason to sing and dance.

If we judge ourselves by the results of what we do, we all come up short. No one is perfect and everyone has blemishes. Is that an excuse for us to be sad and depressed? No way! We must pray to Hashem to help us hold on to our strong desire for holiness no matter what. And that, beloved brother, is the reason you’re reading this article; not to become an instant tzaddik, but to merit a strong desire that will help you serve Hashem in joy despite life’s ups and downs. Such a desire will enable you to laugh at obstacles and overcome setbacks. Hashem sends us challenges in life for the sole purpose of strengthening our resolve and desire. May we respond with valor, amen!