Wishing to Connect 

Translated from Rabbi Arush’s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna.

The Difference Between ‘Bad’ and ‘Evil’ 

Every mother and father want only good for their children. They want them to be healthy and have a good future and good habits. Unfortunately, all of us have traits, faults, weak points, and desires that affect our children negatively in all sorts of ways. 

Parents who smoke next to their children harm their health and even endanger their lives. Parents who have no awareness of the importance of good nutrition cause damage to their children, affecting their lives for many years ahead, usually for all their lives. It affects not only their physical health, but also their learning abilities and social success. Extremely angry, violent, or critical parents, or parents who can’t get along with each other, often hurt children, leaving them with life-long scars.  

If we say that a smoking parent causes severe damage to his son, and it is very bad – that doesn’t mean that we think the father is being malicious, and we don’t say that he is a murderer, chalila, and we don’t say that he is a bad father or that his behavior is evil, but still, the loving father is indeed causing great harm to his own child. 

And therefore, the purpose of an article about the dangers of smoking is not to point an accusing finger at the parent, but to raise his awareness, call on him to act, plus a demand that he does something – we thus awaken him and give direction to the good intentions that are in his heart. 

Criticism is Not Accusation 

The intention of such an article is only to empower and push for change – a change that is, first of all, important and useful for the smoking parent himself, a change that will improve his own life, and, of course, a change that will influence all those around him, all those people who are so dear to him and that he so much wants them to have a good, successful life. 

We are at war, and we must be very sensitive to the feelings and sensations of every Jew or Jewess, and not blame anyone for that terrible day. But, on the other hand, we all want to help and join in anything that can help the Jewish People in these difficult times. In our traditional sources there are some clear statements; and as believing Jews and descendants of believing Jews, we are turning to our sources, to receive the spiritual message that has maintained us for thousands of years. 

And so, at this point I wish to clarify that we are not coming to criticize many thousands of confused Jews, who are like babies who were taken captive and therefore don’t know any better, and we are not claiming that any one of them has bad intentions, chalila, and we are not pointing an accusing finger at anyone – but when it comes to results, we do know some very hard-to-hear and unequivocal things. But it is clear to me that many of our readers will want to hear these things, first of all for themselves, to strengthen themselves, and also for their circle of acquaintances who are willing to listen. And we will explain what we are talking about. 

He Saves Us from Them 

The desire to destroy us in all ways and from every direction is an ancient desire. Our parasha [Editor: Balak] tells us of two terrible attempts to harm the Jewish people. All the local powers that for years quarreled with each other joined together to fight the Jews. At the end of the previous parasha, the military attempt failed, and the Jewish people vanquished the strongest powers, Sichon and Og, thus terrifying all other nations. 

Balak, king of Moav, had no choice but to go for unconventional warfare. He calls in Bilaam, the great wizard, who can destroy a nation completely with one word, and invites him to curse the Jewish People. Hashem yitbarach supplies the Jews with a spiritual “Iron Dome” that protects them completely and disrupts all of Bilaam’s abilities. We are commanded to remember this kindness of Hashem every day – it is one of ten such things to remember. 

The council of haters of the Jews comes to the conclusion that as long as the Jewish people are connected to Hashem, there is no way to harm them; therefore, all efforts should be devoted to disconnecting the Jews from Hashem yitbarach, because without Hashem’s help and providence, they cannot continue to exist. 

How does one do that? At the last moment Bilaam presents the solution: “The G-d of these (the Jews) hates debauchery.” (Bamidbar 25:1-2) The only way to remove the Divine Providence from the Jews is to make them forsake their modesty and kedusha (holiness)! 

Messages as Clear as Day 

And indeed, after battles that failed and curses that didn’t work, the Moabites and the Midianites abandoned their daughters with the goal of causing the Jews to sin. Unfortunately, the result was devastating. True, 24,000 Jews died – a terrible disaster! But it was merciful to the extreme, because the Torah tells us that really the decree was much, much worse – it advocated the complete destruction of “the haters” of Yisrael! 

If not for Pinchas, son of Elazar the Cohen who intervened and was passionate on My behalf, said Hashem, no one would have remained alive! (Bamidbar 25:10-11) 

This is learned not from subtle hints in the Torah, or careful reading of Chazal, from which things can be learned in a roundabout way, or from books of Chassidut or Kabbala; these are clear and detailed psukim that describe this in the written Torah, black on white, in the clearest terms. 

The link between proper behavior and the Jew’s very existence holds true even more for the existence of the Jewish People in the Land of Israel, and the Torah repeats this idea in the clearest way in the section on arayot (immorality) and says that if the Jews turn away from their own holiness, the holy land will vomit them out, chalila. 

Modesty Protects 

We see children being killed in the war, and the ruined and desolate settlements – and we are forbidden to ignore what the Torah is shouting at us. 

Today, unfortunately, spiritual downfall is not coming from our external enemies, but from inside, to our shame. The street, unfortunately, is more abandoned than it ever was, and that harms us all. It harms the very fact of our existence, endangers us and our soldiers, and harms our hold on the Land of Israel. Any woman who wants to do something good for the Jewish people on all levels – the greatest thing for her to do is to be modest! 

True, it is very difficult, and as mentioned, it’s not due to evil intentions, just to lack of knowledge and faulty education of many years, and we are not coming to accuse; we are turning to all the readers who want to make a change in their lives, to do the greatest thing for the Jewish People, for our soldiers, and for our existence. 

Jews are searching for a spiritual anchor; many are being more particular about keeping Shabbat and putting on Tefillin, as well as other mitzvot; and we believe as descendants of believers that our strength lies in our holiness and our modesty – therefore, we are calling to everyone, and particularly to the dear Jewish women to do the thing that we need most for all of us: to be more particular in maintaining modesty. The demand for change should be turned inward, and not aimed at other people. And, of course, this should be done pleasantly and patiently and according to halacha, without chumras and going overboard. 

She Gave Merit for the Masses and Gained Herself 

In this article we have only presented the topic and its importance for our safety, salvation, and success. The topic of tzniut (modesty) is very broad, and is indicated not only for women, and we will elaborate on this next week as well, G-d willing. But a woman has the special power to awaken this among all Jews. 

But already now it is important to mention: Like a father who stops smoking for the sake of his children – but the first to gain by this is he himself – so too, when a Jewish woman takes the first step towards being more careful about her modesty, she is the first to gain from it, because tzniut is not limitations and suffering and asceticism, but simply a shift in the focus of a person into himself; tzniut does not mean submission, but rather the discovery of amazing inner worlds that will simply change your life for the better! And it brings with it enormous profits that we will talk about in the next article, G-d willing. 

Tzniut strengthens our connection to ourselves, and thus the entire society becomes healthier; the marital connections are more stable, the family connections are healthier, and the main point is that we gain a strong connection with our Father in Heaven. And when our connection with our Father in Heaven will be revealed in all its glory, we will attain supreme protection for all Jews, wherever they are, and begin to see the processes of geula moving forward and all the good prophecies taking shape in front of our eyes, for it will be in the merit of the pious women that we will experience salvation. 

Continues in Part 2, Money on the Floor.