The Code to Your Hour

How do we break through our cycles of “the same old thing” and get recharged?

Many people feel that they can’t get in touch with their connection to prayer. Additionally,  many people, even so called righteous individuals, feel that emptiness from time to time.  When we feel no desire for spirituality, we can do what Rav Arush says in his book In Forest Fields, and actually leverage the problem. How? By saying thank you for the problem. Talk to Hashem honestly about the issue like this:

“Hashem, you know I’m so busy with work and the kids. Then there are all the other daily duties that I have. I’m exhausted, and don’t feel any freshness in my Judaism. I’m sorry to say it, but I’m bored and feel like I’m just going through the motions. But please, don’t get me wrong, I know there is no greater joy then getting closer to You. Please uplift me and help guide me to do what it takes to get closer to You.”

When you talk like that to Hashem, he responds a million fold.

Here are a few tips to ensure a great hitbodedut (personal prayer) session:

1. Make sure you’ve eaten a good snack to hold you over for the hour. Hunger can distract your prayer and cause you to lose focus. Pick food that will be good for your body. This will allow your soul to come through better in prayer.  Also go to the bathroom beforehand.

2. Take care of any needed text messages or phone calls before you start. Next, shut that phone off and give yourself an hour of Shabbat.  By shutting off the phone, you are making a huge declaration to Hashem that this meeting between you and him is more important than anything. Although it sounds very hard to have your phone off for the entire hour, after one session you’ll yearn to do it again.

3. Find an outdoors location like a park, forest, or coast. When you connect to Hashem, spiritual static like cars, computers and phones can be visual and auditory deterrents to your personal prayer session. In addition, it is highly advisable to get out of the house. When you are at home, distractions are bound to take place – and that sofa that seems perfect for your session will end up putting you to sleep.

4. Hitbodedut can oftentimes induce sleepiness in a person, so if you find yourself dozing off instead of praying there are a few tips you can implement:

A. Incorporate exercise into your hour. Many people go for nature walks, run, or stretch while they talk to Hashem. These are excellent methods to also get healthier while growing in spirituality.

B. Find ways to get stuff done while you are talking to Hashem. Although not the best way to do a personal prayer session daily, if you are short on time and can’t get out of the house you can sweep the floor, do dishes, make the beds (your spouse will love you), or cook. If you have a baby then go for walk with the stroller. These are excellent things that you can do to flow with the hour if it is a challenge for you to stay focused. At the same time, these are just back up methods and should never be prioritized over a walk outdoors alone. It’s simply an option to stay with your daily practice while making it work amidst the difficulties.

C. Write out your hitbodedut. Sometimes the words aren’t coming even if you’ve had your coffee or tea. If you feel stuck, write out your hitbodedut as if it were a letter to Hashem. By writing, you’ll find that you may even get closer to Hashem than if you had an excellent speaking hitbodedut. It is very worthwhile to try out this method.

D. When your hitbodedut has not been going the way you want, and you’ve tried implementing the advice listed in “In Forest Fields” there is a sure method that will jumpstart your sessions. Listen to music. Music has a way of opening up the heart and connecting us to our emotions and higher creative self. Furthermore, your uplifted mood will elevate your personal prayer session beyond anything else.

Whether our sessions are perfect or we fell asleep, we need to celebrate the fact that in the midst of this chaotic world we are doing our best to make Hashem a part of our lives. Every step forward is tremendously precious in His eyes. Don’t ever forget that.