Dealing with Hardships

A boy in his teenage years had a glum look on his face as his father entered the room.  “What’s wrong, my son?” asked the father sympathetically.  “Dad, I know that I’m still young, but I’m having a difficult time dealing with the many obligations and challenges in my life.  I need help learning how to deal with life when times are tough.”

“That’s understandable.” Answered the kind father, as he thought of an innovative way to help his son.  “Follow me,” he said leading his son into the kitchen.  Once in the kitchen, the father filled three pots with water and set them on the stove top.  He placed an egg in the first pot, a carrot in the second pot and coffee beans in the third pot.  The father turned on the fire, covered the pots and left the kitchen with his son.  After a while, they returned to the kitchen and found that the water has boiled in each of the pots.  The father turned off the fire and uncovered the pots.  He took out the egg and placed it in a bowl.  Next, he took out the carrot, placing it on a cutting board. Finally, he poured the water into which he placed the coffee beans into a cup.

The father then turned to his son and asked, “What do you see?” The teenage boy approached the table and examined the three items in front of him.  He peeled the egg noticing that it has hardened, he cut the carrots which became soft and mushy to his touch, and he reached for the cup of coffee which produced a wonderful aroma and had an enjoyable taste.

“Pay attention, son,” said the father.  The three items in front of you can teach us about different ways of coping with life.  We all go through hardships, which are represented by the boiling water.  However, we can choose how to weather those hardships.  The egg went into the water soft on the inside but came out hardened.  The carrot, on the other hand, went into the water hard and strong, but came out soft and crushable from the heat.  While the coffee beans, differ from the others. After persevering the boiling water, they turned the water itself into something exquisite, delicious, and fragrant. Which of the three is similar to you, my son?” Asked the father at the conclusion of this most insightful experiment.

Hashem guides and directs every single aspect of your life in order to bring out the best in you.  Never ever should we feel that we have been dealt an unfair hand, as our loving Father in Heaven knows precisely what we each need in order to grow and realize our utmost potential. 

When you face difficulties in life how do you react?  Are you similar to carrots that seem strong on the outside, but actually lose Faith and the ability to cope and then turn to mush?  Perhaps you are like the boiled egg, pretending to remain the same on the outside, but hardening your heart to others due to life’s challenges.  Choose to become like the coffee, turning the difficulties into something positive and using your newly developed sensitivities to help others.  We can better face our challenges in life by giving of ourselves to others, and producing even greater fruit than we even started with.  Remember, nothing ever happens by chance.  Take this lesson and bring it into practice.  How do you respond?  The choice is in your hands…

Always remember, if at times things do seem too difficult to bear, reach out for help.  Discuss your trials with someone you trust, and most importantly speak to Hashem (G-d).  After all, it is He who has placed you in your specific situation as a loving Father to help you maximize an amazing potential latent within you.  So speak to Hashem.  Tell Him that you need help, that you would like to grow but that it’s not easy and ask for guidance to emerge with greater Faith and a greater ability to give. 

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This story was translated from the Hebrew with the permission of the Arachim website.