Troubled Times

People are at their wits end, asking how they can cope with all the difficulties of these troubled times, especially the wave of terror that has plagued Israel in recent weeks. Rebbe Natan writes that many of the generation’s troubles stem from blemished personal holiness (see Likutei Halachot, Shluchin, 3).

Rebbe Natan foresaw that debauchery would become more and more prevalent; when he wrote this, the most immodest woman in his generation was probably more modest than the most modest woman today. If Rebbe Natan were alive today, he most likely would scream rather than write. What would he say about the Internet and Facebook? He’d only yell…

Woe to the generation where young men with beards and sidecurls are looking at the web and video movies, while committing the worst breaches of personal holiness. Cleaning one’s soul from the filth of these sins necessitates hard work. The holy Ariza’l writes (Shaar Hakavvanot, Drosh Halaila) that one ejaculation of seed outside the context of a mitzva requires 84 fast days in order to be rectified! One act of adultery requires 325 fast days! Rebbe Nachman of Breslev said that the soul corrections should be made easier in order to enable more people to repent. But, a person can’t purify himself by immersing in a mikva while still holding a dead mouse in his hand. Likewise, if a person wants to make teshuva, he must strive for personal holiness and do his best to attain a soul correction. First, he must sever himself from the internet, video movies, television and anything else that contaminates his mind, body and soul. Only that way, will he be able to rid himself of all the lewd and impure thoughts that soil his brain.

Even if the Torah didn’t forbid looking at indecent images – and even if we put Judaism aside for a moment – it’s ludicrous to gape at pictures and to lust for fantasies. For that matter, merely pondering sexual fantasies is insanity and total nonsense. Rebbe Nachman once said, “Anyone who ponders over fornication is an idiot. Even a simple person wouldn’t want to be caught in the act, Heaven forbid, even if he weren’t a God-fearing person at all. At any rate, he certainly would not want to be caught with another woman. If so, then why ponder such a thing and torment his soul for nothing?! A person does have the power to channel his thoughts elsewhere…” (Rebbe Nachman’s Discourses, 303).

A person doesn’t marry for the sake of having sex, Heaven forbid. Marriage teaches us character development, compromise, understanding, consideration and self-improvement. A person who is connected to his wife for the sole purpose of satisfying his sexual appetite is a beast. The “Pele Yoetz” writes that such a person’s sexual relations with his wife are not much better than relations with a prostitute. The fires of dissension burn in a relationship that’s built on sexual gratification.

Women are also commanded to refrain from transgressing the negative commandments of Torah such as, “You shall not covet” (Deuteronomy 5:18), “You shall not yearn” for what is not yours (ibid), and “You shall not follow your own heart and your own eyes, after which you go astray” (Numbers 15:39). Women easily fall prey to false beauty, tempted to chase after clothes, cosmetics, jewelry and wigs to fulfill their fantasies of external adornment and charm. In all fairness, their lust for looking good is not at all like a man’s lust, who gets excited even if he sees a broomstick wrapped in a skirt, but women are highly susceptible to jealousy and coveting. The Gemara warns though that a person who lays eyes on something that is not his ends up losing that which belongs to him.

The inner rationale of guarding one’s eyes is that a person should be satisfied with his own lot in life and therefore not look at what his neighbor has or doesn’t have. That means restricting one’s gaze to one’s private domain, not looking at anyone else and not comparing himself with anyone else. He should be magnanimous, and even if his neighbor apparently has more than he does, he should derive joy in his neighbor’s joy and not covet anything of his neighbor for himself.

Here’s an example. Suppose you’ve been looking for a soul-mate for a long time but have not yet found her. You just received news that your friend got engaged. Be happy for him! Suppose you don’t yet have children and you hear that your friend just became a father. Rejoice! One who is not happy with another person’s good fortune is a mean-spirited individual, referred to in Hebrew as a person with an “evil eye”. In addition, a person who wants something that is not his is also referred to as one with an “evil eye”.

The worst evil eye is looking at something that one should not be looking at, such as another person’s wife. The evil inclination of coveting is very strong, for as our sages say that the heart covets what the eye sees. So, as soon as a person sees something attractive – no matter how forbidden it is – the heart is triggered into coveting, which in itself is a heinous transgression of Torah.

Suppose a person sees something permissible, like his neighbor’s car or home. He now has the free choice of coveting, or realizing in faith that Hashem gives each individual what he needs, so there’s no need for jealousy or coveting. With emuna, a person can be magnanimous and wish the best for his neighbor. But when it comes to women, a person automatically is stirred by lustful thoughts, falling into the trap of an “evil eye” by immediately and instinctively desiring her. And, once a person desires another man’s wife, he gets sucked into a downward spiral of desiring his money, possessions and other things that don’t belong to him.

Magnanimity is the “good eye”. To be magnanimous and to avoid the trap of the “evil eye”, a person must guard his eyes. He must be happy with his lot in life, satisfied with whatever Hashem has given him in the time being (even though he is at complete liberty to pray for more) and therefore confine his sight to his immediate surroundings. Happiness with one’s lot in life is a very effective barometer of emuna; therefore, guarding one’s eyes and emuna go hand-in-hand. With emuna, a person knows that he is under the wing of Hashem’s precision Divine providence, where Hashem gives each person exactly what he needs to correct his soul and accomplish his mission on earth. There’s consequently no need to look at anyone else.