An Emuna Embrace

Multiple Sclerosis is a mess (MS) of a disease. The body can’t be depended upon to walk where its brain tells it to go, nor to grab or hold any object. Living with MS might be enough to strip any belief in a higher power. How could anyone believe a good and loving G–d would do such a thing to His child. If one comes to the logical conclusion that this might be happenstance or hereditary or circumstance or mistake, life might be unbearable. If you believe there is a worldly answer for why, the world necessarily becomes an evil place to be.

Yom Kippur 5775, was the date everything changed. A glimpse of forgiveness, total teshuva, and the Almighty’s grace transformed this woman’s ability to embrace Emuna. This date in history saw the forgiveness of all past emotional and physical transgressions to me and by me. If no one on earth was responsible, there was only one option.

Accepting Hashem’s will as the reason behind every single thing which happens,  knowing  everything is all good and has a purpose,  helps us to be  able to delve into a deeper and more profound world view.

If, in fact, this difficult disease was sent to me by Hashem and it is good and it is for a reason, then any complaints, fear of the condition’s degenerative nature, sorrows that I might be missing out on something which I might rightly believe I deserve- evaporates.

Remaining is a woman beset by physical challenges but ensconced in the joy of knowing I am here because that’s the way I can do the most to correct my soul and elevate not only the thinking of those with the same disease, but all others who have challenges which seem insurmountable.

In the case of overwhelming disease, one may only have the choice of deciding how to respond. If someone can bear to put the illness (or for that fact, any setback or gruesome pain) to the side for a moment, one can begin to accept The Truth.

Your challenge, my challenge, comes from Hashem. It is not happenstance. It is not meant for anyone but you. It is your key for unlocking your own ability to embrace the idea of Emuna. It is designed exactly so that you can use it as a stepping stone, a trampoline, a direct line into the “Mind of Hashem”.

With hours of teshuvah, personal prayer, and dedicated Torah learning, I know you can come to see Hashem as I do. When I found the courage to thank Hashem for my disability, years of pain and sorrow melted off of me. Without Emuna life was only existence. With Emuna life is meaningful, joyful, and full of opportunities to widen every door. There are more doors to open, corridors to walk, mysteries to be unlocked.

Stop going to self-pity parties and begin enjoying the party of Life happening around you. With Emuna there is nothing to be sorry about. There are only deeper places to be where the scenery is more joyful, the gratitude more profound and the ceiling more reachable.

I grew up without knowing Hashem existed. I came into my 63^rd year knowing He not only exists, but is actively involved in my life and in the life of everyone. Those who invite Him in see it clearly.

The point I’d like to make most clear is if I can think it, you can think it. If I can achieve total Emuna, it must be available to all of us. There is no one who asks, who is not granted the gift, when he pays the price. The price is relatively small – praise and thanks to Hashem for your biggest problem, teshuvah to ameliorate past and even present misdeeds and self-immersion into the well of emotional and spiritual healing.

With Emuna there is life. Without Emuna there is only existence. With life comes love, loving others, and extreme gratitude and joy. Try it – you’ll like it.