Always Searching

Translated by Aaron Yoseph

Every Yid has a neshamah – a holy soul. What are we living on? Long-life batteries? Our life is a Divine gift that Hashem has given us. Hashem has given us each a neshamah in our brains – a power to think. We each have a role to fulfill in this life. We weren’t given life to just walk around aimlessly. Hashem made this world so that there would be an Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov and a Klal Yisroel. Every one of us has a share in this. Ashreinu! How fortunate we are! The world around us only knows how to kill each other, how to make things, and how to pursue pleasures. We have our special inheritance – holy wisdom. We have something to do in this world.

We have to come back to being close to Hashem, to delight in Him, and remember and know how much He delights in us. A Yid knows this. However much you try and make him forget it, whatever tests he goes through, it won’t help. In the end, it will come back to him. Here and there, he’ll have a thought about the purpose of life, a thought about the truth. This is why Yidden are always moving around – they’re never at peace. The soul is always searching. Yidden argue all day long – it’s a sign that they want something. We all want the same thing, but in this world, it’s hard to get to it. We all go through this.

Everyone wants to have Gan Eden every day. Nowadays everyone has Gan Eden. Once, who would think of having ice-cream? It was only for Kings. Nowadays we have all the delights – but how much pleasure is there in them already? There are delights of the soul. A quarter of people need to go to psychiatrists, most of the drugs made are for nerves and depression. The healing of Yiddishe souls is to give them a taste of the sweetness of Emunah. See the good that you do have. It’s so easy to do good. Don’t want only to be the greatest tzaddik, or else nothing. If you can’t have a feast, so you eat a sandwich. Grab a brachah (blessing), Shabbat – enjoy, enjoy…

But a person goes through a battle. How can we come to delight in our Emunah and in nullifying ourselves to Hashem? We need to bring these things into our daily lives, so that they really work. People go through so much. Ashreinu that we have a neshamah that is pulled to kedushah like a magnet. Just like a fish that can’t live outside the water, a Yid can’t live without the light of Torah and Emunah.

How can we strengthen ourselves? For this we have the Rebbe and Uman. However it is, there is someone here who can move you forward in the way that you want to go. Because this is what we’re learning here – how we can move forward in life. We’ve been living with Shabbat and Torah for generations. All of a sudden someone came and threw us out. The Yetzer Hora came and made us stumble and fall. We get trapped in confusions and bitterness, and all the filth of this world. The soul goes through terrible things, and a person can’t purify his thoughts and come back. We too, if we don’t strengthen ourselves, a person can despair of everything and live with worries and jealousy. “Is there money, or isn’t there money?!” This isn’t life. Where do we get true life from? There are many books written about how to not worry. They work for a bit – until you forget what they said! Carnegie[1] himself may have committed suicide! There’s no ultimate good in this world. There is an ultimate good, but it’s hard to get to it. We’re trapped in the Yetzer Hora’s prison, and it’s hard to break out.

This is what we are learning here – that there is a Rebbe and there are Tsaddikim who want to show us the way, the way for each one of us to come back to Hashem, and come back to this delight and pleasantness. Even if you’re in prison, there is one advice – nullify yourself to Hashem. Forget about what you “know.” You say that you know, but you don’t really know. You say you know that it’s like this – that you fell, and you’re finished. But that’s a mistake. Perhaps you do have a place in Olam Habah? When a person gets up at night and speaks to Hashem truthfully, he can get out of the prison he’s in and return to real life. “Hashem does need me.” You are a Yid, you can achieve a lot. Start to do teshuvah and strengthen yourself.

How has Klal Yisroel survived so long, with all the murderous nations who want to kill us? The Zohar HaKadosh describes how there are very serious accusations leveled at us above, and the Tzaddikim come to our defense, but the side of evil remains very strong. Until the very great Tsaddikim come along and draw mercy onto Klal Yisroel, onto each individual, to show them each the way to feel Emunah and be close to Hashem, to pick themselves up. These Tsaddikim shoot one arrow, and the snake is dead.

If everyone who did teshuva would also come close to the light of the Baal Shem Tov and the Tsaddikim, they would be really alive, with a real sense of purpose in life. He knows that Hashem sent him here for a reason. That is true joy! Are you still searching? Try Rabbenu Nachman’s wisdom, and bring some true joy to your life.