The Holiness Spectrum

The other night my husband was showing the kids some old videos and one of them was of a time we were at the park back in Miami. I looked on as I walked by, trying to catch a glimpse of my life from two years ago. Just then, I saw a beautiful woman with perfectly coiffed, shiny dark brown hair. She was wearing a long, flowing jean skirt and had Jackie-O style sunglasses on. Before I could even process what I was seeing, I demanded to know who the hottie was in the video. My husband turned to me with a “seriously?!” look on his face, and suddenly I felt pretty silly- it was me! Wow, have I really changed that much?

I quickly ran to the full-length mirror in my closet to do an emergency examination. Yup, the difference was stark- no gorgeous wig, no jean skirt, no Jackie O’s (unless I’m driving). What did I see? A woman with a modest, full-length black skirt, a loose unimpressive top, and a scarf for a head covering.

Certainly not magazine cover material…

For a few hours, my evil inclination had me in his clutches. I found myself lamenting the fact that I didn’t dress like that anymore, especially the fact that I didn’t wear a wig. Sure, I liked looking beautiful. Who doesn’t?

Not that I’m not beautiful now; in fact, my husband tells me I’m more beautiful to him than before. Honestly, many times I think he’s full of it, but then I remember hearing from one of Rabbi Brody’s CD’s that a husband will find his wife more attractive if she dresses modestly. Well, that certainly goes according to logic.

There was, however, one thing I did notice while checking myself out in the mirror. I caught a small, subtle hint of holiness peeking out from my aura. It was a strange experience. Which leads me to an eye-opening observation I have had regarding holiness in general.

First let me say that prior to moving to Israel, holiness was not a word in my vocabulary. It wasn’t even a concept in my mind. I was on my path of teshuva and increasing my level of observance, but the whole “holy” thing didn’t fit in anywhere. That was a word reserved for the big Tzaddikim.

In Miami, even the most frum Jews still dressed with a sense of fashion (men included). The women could easily have modeled for any makeup or hair (wig?) commercial and the men could have posed for the cover of GQ. According to the dry laws of modesty, they were dressed appropriately. However, there was something major missing.

I only began to understand what that something was when I moved to Israel. That something was holiness. Now don’t get me wrong- every Jew is intrinsically holy. But how did they connect with their essential holiness? How did they express what was inside?

And I’m not just referring to the manner of dress. Modesty is also a behavioral attribute. A bunch of giggling girls sharing personal secrets with each other a bit too loudly in the middle of a crowded restaurant is not modest (guilty as charged). A group of hormone-crazed frum guys checking out the latest on the shidduch (matchmaking) market is not modest. Single girls and guys hanging out together as friends is definitely not modest.

Gevalt, I’m such a grandma.

Thus after a gradual and delayed understanding of the concept of modesty, I have formulated an equation, patent pending. It’s called “The Holiness Spectrum”. It goes like this: level of modesty – level of materialism = level of holiness.  I know, it’s genius. It’s also a great way to gauge where you fall on the spectrum. If you come up with a negative number, you know there’s plenty of work to be done. If you come up with a positive number, congratulations! There’s always room for improvement!

The point of Torah observance and tzniut in particular is to bring out the inner holiness in all Jews. Remember that famous saying: “Thou shalt be holy,” or something like that. Anyways, this is really the essence and the goal of Judaism- to raise the Jewish People to a level higher than the angels. What does this mean? It means that we can achieve the ultimate closeness with The Creator, even more so than the mightiest angels.

How can we be higher than the angels when most of us don’t even realize that this is what’s expected of us? Most Jews are not yet observant; they don’t have a clue as to what their spiritual purpose is in their lives. How are they supposed to reach higher than the angels?

Rav Arush’s solution? Pray, pray, and pray. Pray that G-d will open your eyes to the concept of holiness. Pray that He will give you the desire in your heart to want to be more holy. Pray that you achieve your holiness potential in this lifetime.

I have no doubt that when you ask G-d for this additional level of observance, He will gladly give it to you, no questions asked. Which leaves only one question:

Where do you fall on the holiness spectrum?