The Caregiver

I was recently given a very precious gift, on the Egged bus, number 434 from Rehovot to Jerusalem.  Egged buses are wonderful places to do personal prayer, as the bus-rider is held captive for a good hour, regardless of where he or she needs to go. One cannot help but pray when the bus is racing around curving mountain roads while the driver is counting money and at the same time taking someone’s fare! I am not exaggerating! It is a true emuna experience, only in Israel…

Let’s get back to “the gift”.  I am sure that all of you have read The Garden of Education.  If you have not yet read it, don’t wait, because your children deserve it.  I will explain. I  have very precious and very spirited children. I spend a lot of time praying for them, so that they will channel their energy in the direction of Torah, character refinement, and performance of the commandments in the Torah.  The Garden of Education explains that, as much as you love your children, Hashem loves them even more!  Not only does He love them more, but He is actually your partner in parenting them!  This sounds wonderful, because one can rest assured that He will help you raise them properly.  Well, as Rabbi Brody always says, “The longest distance is from the head to the heart”.  This means that it is often challenging to internalize some of the lofty ideals in The Garden of Education!  This one was no exception!

As I was riding the famed Egged bus to Jerusalem, I was talking to Hashem about one of my boys. He had been attending a new school for several months and was having a very hard time.  It suddenly occurred to me that my son had not yet been introduced to his school counselor, a special educator on his campus that helps the boys believe in themselves and achieve success. I decided to pause from my personal prayer and call his school!  The secretary speaks very little English. I was trying to explain to her that my son needed to meet the school counselor.  Often, when you do not fully understand a language, you tend to speak extra loud, as if somehow the words will penetrate the listener.

Well, next thing I know the bus driver starts yelling at me to get off the phone!  I replied as calmly as I could, that I was in the middle of an urgent call to my son’s school.  He was very supportive, and decided to turn the radio a bit louder to drown me out.  Next, the secretary connected me to the principal of the school, whose English was even worse than my Hebrew.  Again, I was speaking loudly and slowly, introducing myself, and explaining my son’s needs.  Well, there are often many kind and helpful bi-lingual people on the bus.  One gentleman saw my suffering, and took it upon himself to help me translate.  He kept asking me in Hebrew, what I wanted to say.  Well, I tried to reply in Hebrew, but, then realized that I was incapable.  I was too emotional.  Even though he could not help me much, he kept repeating, even louder, the correct words to say, but I was not sure if they were really the correct words!  It was really an emuna moment!

Finally, the Principal agreed to look into the matter.  He said he would try to remember to call me back.  Needless to say, I hung up the phone in tears.  The bus driver turned down the music and gave me a blessing, and said not to worry.  He then turned up the music again.  There I was, bereft, feeling helpless.  My cell phone rang, and I rushed to answer it.  Could the Principal have moved so quickly? It was my beautiful, precious son, whose soul I had been fighting for!  He was very pleasant and calm.  He said, “Mom, I met a really cool teacher this morning from California”.   He proceeded to tell me that they spent about an hour together walking around the fields by the horse stables, just talking.    He said, “He is the school counselor.  I really like him”.  I think my soul temporarily left my body!  I told him that I was really happy to hear that they had met, and that I hoped he would be able to help him be successful in his program.  My son said, “Mom, don’t worry!”

That is when “the gift” hit me.  Hashem showed me that He loves our son, and already had it under control (unbeknownst to the Principal or office!).  Hashem, You showed me that I am simply the caregiver of the children you have entrusted me with, but that you are their Father!  You took care of everything – all I had to do was to pray and pray, and then step aside, and let you run the world! It was exhausting, trying to play ”G-d”.  I was not very successful, either! Wow, Hashem really loves my children more than I ever could, and is my partner in parenting them.  I am only the caregiver.

I am happy to report that my son has dramatically improved in his interest and desire to be successful.  I will continue to pray for him, knowing, that his true Father is calling all the shots!