Smiling, No Matter What

Translated by Rabbi Lazer Brody

Why rejoice over something we do that’s not so successful? Why be happy with the challas that are slighty burnt or the driving test that we failed?
 
Certainly, Hashem wants us to be the very best that we can. But, once we’ve made our best effort, we must understand that the outcome of anything we do is in Hashem’s hands. We must accept that outcome with love and joy.
 
We therefore must maintain two different mindsets:

Before the fact: we strive to do our very best; we study hard, we invest in preparation, we do our utmost to make the wisest decisions, and we seek the best advice.
 
After the fact: we rejoice in the outcome, whatever it may be, for that is Hashem’s will. We learn from our mistakes and resolve to do better, but we don’t fret about them or about our deficiencies.
 

Being happy with the present does not mean that we don’t strive to be better in the future. Our rejoicing in whatever our current situation results from the knowledge that this is what Hashem wants for now!
 
The question remains: how can one be happy with something that’s so far from perfect?
 
Easy – if Hashem does not yet let us succeed, then this too is for the very best. There are many good reasons why Hashem doesn’t let us succeed for the time being. And they are all the result of His magnificent precision Divine providence, tailor-made for the individual benefit of each person. Don’t think for a moment that a temporary setback or even a permanent disadvantage is a punishment; certainly not! Indeed, the things in life that don’t succeed are all Divine expressions of love.
 
How? You’re not convinced?
 
Imagine that you’ve just flunked your first driving test. You were sure that you were a capable driver, but right at the end, you hit on of the poles when you parked the car. You’re devastated, especially in light of the fact that you parked the car successfully dozens of times during practice sessions. Bitterly disappointed, you think that Hashem is either punishing you or tormenting you; Heaven forbid!
 
Picture this: Hashem knows that despite your driving lessons in theory and practice, you have only attained 68% proficiency. This might be fine for driving in the neighborhood, but it’s not enough for a dangerous challenge on the freeway. Hashem wants you to be attain 88% proficiency for your own safety and for the safety of your fellow drivers. He wants you to take a few more lessons and practice more. You do, ad you pass on the second try. Now you are a much better driver.
 
We see in our hypothetical retrospect that passing the driver’s-license exam on the first try would not have been a gift from Hashem. The first-try failure was truly for our ultimate benefit.
 
Initial success and wealth aren’t good for cultivating steadfast emuna and superb character traits. Spiritually speaking, we all must build worthy vessels to receive Divine abundance. For example, without the qualities of humility and responsibility (vessels), then success and wealth (abundance) are detrimental to a person.
 
As long as a person has not yet rid himself of arrogance, then success is not a blessing. To reap the intrinsic benefits of any situation that we find distasteful, such as a failure or a setback, we must view it I light of emuna.  We learn this amazing lesson from the simple one and we say to ourselves, “This is what Hashem wants for now! Hashem wants me to improve! Yes, I’ll strive to be better, but meanwhile, I’ll accept my lack of success with emuna, for this too is from Hashem and for my ultimate welfare.” Any setback is certainly better than arrogance. Therefore, if success breeds arrogance (like running to brag to our friends that we passed our driving test on the first try), then it’s not good for us.
 
True strength of character is the ability to recognize that Hashem knows better than we do. One who strives for true strength of character prefers true character improvement and development over superficial success. Continuing our above example of the driving test, what good is success on the first try if one is not truly ready for the road? People often prefer the superficial diploma of success to true inner proficiency.
 
Hashem has enormous gratification from a person who is happy with his lot in life, setbacks as well as successes. This is the expression of true emuna.
 
Every person has shortcomings. But as long as a person is not happy with his shortcomings – realizing that they are from Hashem and for his ultimate benefit – he won’t be happy in life. For example, the great tzaddikim all saw numerous shortcomings in themselves, but they all rejoiced in their lives, taking delight in every single prayer and every single mitzvah. Surely, they strove to perfect themselves, but in the meanwhile, they were completely happy with their lot in life.
 
As long as a person fails to accept his shortcomings with love and with patience, he’ll never be happy.
 
Let’s review the two mindsets we mentioned earlier:

Before we do something, we make every effort to do our very best.
 
After the fact, we realize that whatever happened was Hashem’s will. Therefore, the self-persecuting feelings of “I’m a failure” or “I’m stupid” are not only products of the evil inclination but total heresy as well. Success, or lack of it, is the result of Divine will. This is the way Hashem wants things for the time being!
 

Only now, we can understand that true happiness is the unconditional acceptance of Divine will. If a person feels good only when things are going smoothly and according to his desire, he’s far from any semblance of genuine happiness.
 
Self persecution and relentless self criticism don’t lead to personal improvement; on the contrary, they lead to sadness, depression, lack of confidence, and disdain of oneself. Emuna and acceptance of our current lot in life lead to the exact opposite – confidence, joy, and optimism. With emuna, we smile no matter what. Nothing assures future success like emuna and a nice smile, right now.