Windows of the Soul

Our esteemed Rav Arush talks about guarding our eyes.  He calls upon women as well to take on this mitzvah.  Why is that?  Do we have the same issues men have?  What does Rav Arush want from us?  In the Rav’s recent Dvar Torah at the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva, He explained that, according to the Holy Zohar, the only way the evil inclination enters in to a person is through the eyes.  This is why people that are blind often do not have a yetzer hara.  Holy Rav Arush discussed the main problem that women have with their eyes.  By not guarding our eyes, we lose awareness and connection to Hashem! 

How does it happen?  When a woman walks around the streets, shopping or running errands, and looks at other women, perhaps modern and stylish looking, she can become dissatisfied with her own looks.  Sometimes fashionable clothing in the store windows begin to lure us.  Why can’t we look like that or dress that way? Our desire to be attractive is awakened. This may start out innocently; we want our husband to desire us.  We want to look good for our husband, so perhaps we focus on fashionable clothes. This leads to looking at magazines.  The first thing we notice is that every woman is thin, beautiful and perfect.  Then we look at ourselves. Oy, if only we looked that good! This is very damaging.  The next step is to start looking at ourselves on a constant basis, and to criticize our beautiful bodies that Hashem gave us. Many of us have had the merit to have children. That means we no longer look 16.  This is good, but our eyes trick us and tell us that we are now ugly, fat and unattractive.  This causes so much suffering.

We have now been officially initiated into the taava of niuf (immoral desires). The next step is to start to diet, exercise, eat, starve, and then hate yourself even more.  Our eyes then watch a movie, or a television show, and we see how well dressed and put together the actresses are.  This leads us to desire nicer clothes, manicures, expensive make-up, sometimes plastic surgery (a flat tummy looks better!) and more time and energy wasted on beautification…more time suffering. We are so far from Hashem, because we are so caught up in our exterior.  The yetzer hara is not suffering. He is thrilled!! He’s got you!!!

There is another aspect to being a fashion statement that I want to mention.  It is a bit painful to admit. But let’s be honest.  You cannot see the make-up on your face. You are probably immune to the smell your expensive perfume after the initial application.  Only others can see the painted face, and smell the perfume.  How much of our desire to look good is based on the need to have other men affirm that we are attractive and desirable?  Is it fair to their wives that their husbands are being drawn in by another woman?  Be honest with yourself.  Ask yourself why you need others’ affirmation.  If you knew your true worth as a Bat Melech, the daughter of a King, (listen to The King’s Daughter CD) and you knew how much Hashem loved you, you would not need ANYONE or ANYTHING (including make-up, expensive clothing or crash diets) to know your self-worth.  This can only be learned through closeness to Hashem.  Closeness to Hashem can only be attained through hitbodedut and tefilla!

Jewish women have always held the fabric of Am Yisrael together through their modesty.  There are no stories about a Jewess running off with a Midianite or Moabite man.  We never participated in the avoda zara orgies of the goyim.  We always knew who the father of our children were.  This is what separated us from the immoral nations around us.  We have always held Am Yisrael together.  When the men divorced their wives in Mitzrayim, we polished our copper mirrors to beautify ourselves and lure our husbands back home.  We had emuna!  We refused to give our gold jewelry towards the building of the golden calf.  We did not believe the spies who returned from Eretz Canaan with a negative report of the Land.  We have always had emuna, and closeness to Hashem, and we have always been modest.  That is just who we are!…Know yourself!

In Women’s Wisdom, Holy Rav Arush explains, that truth brings satiation (Chapter 30- page 275).   One cannot have emuna unless one has truth. Not only will guarding our eyes prevent us from being distant from Hashem, it will lead us to emuna and truth. Truth also will help us lose weight!!!  We must internalize the truth of our self-worth!  Holy Rav Arush explains, in his shiur on the parsha, that Emuna is tefilla.  The extended exile is a result of a lack of emuna.  When riding the bus, or walking around town, it is preferable to read tehillim, or to do hitbodedut. This will lead you to emuna, and closeness to Hashem, not the falsehood of beauty, and the need to have others affirm your desirability.  A true Bat Melech has inner beauty that radiates from the inside out.  This is what her husband sees.  In Women’s  Wisdom, Rav Arush teaches that our future redemption will be by virtue of the women (Midrash Zuta, Ruth), just as it was in the redemption from Egypt. Guarding our eyes, and being connected to Hashem at all times, will bring Am Yisrael to welcome the geula shelaima (full redemption), in the merit of the women!  May it be speedily in our day, AMEN!