Invalid Emuna

In the previous article Stop Being so Realistic I discussed how choosing to believe in a good reality causes the good in the situation to be revealed, while believing that the situation is bad actually creates more bad G-d forbid. Now I want to clarify in more detail the difference between believing everything Hashem sends is good versus what many people mistakenly think – that if they believe, then Hashem has to do whatever they want… 

You do need to be careful not to get caught up in what Rabbi Arush calls “invalid emuna” – thinking Hashem owes you and just HAS to give you what you want. That’s a big mistake, and I know people who have unfortunately made it, with pretty disastrous consequences. 

The key difference between real emuna and invalid emuna is humility. Real emuna is recognizing that you are NOT Hashem, you did not create yourself, and you have only a tiny fraction of all the information. Therefore, you have the humility to be open to whatever Hashem wants for you, never letting go of the rule “kacha Hashem rotzeh” – this, and exactly this! is exactly what Hashem wants! 

However, invalid emuna is based totally on arrogance. It’s based on “if I do X (pray/say thank you/believe/whatever), then Hashem HAS to give me what I want.” That means instead of accepting kacha Hashem rotzeh, this situation is what Hashem wants – no, I want Hashem to change it and make it into what I want!  

There’s no greater arrogance than that! Since Hashem says, “Me and the arrogant person cannot live in the same universe”- well, such a person just put a heck of a lot of distance between himself and Hashem. Since Hashem is the source of everything, you just took the short path to never getting what you want for sure… 

Let’s take an example that Rabbi Arush uses in The Garden of Riches – invalid emuna says to take a big loan to start or expand a business, expecting that certainly Hashem will give you lots of success because, of course, He works for you and has to give you loads of money in exactly this way. I believe I’m going to be a big success and, of course, Hashem HAS to give that to me if that’s what I believe, right?  

WRONG. Real emuna says – the exact amount you’ve got to work with is what Hashem wants you to have. Therefore, you find an appropriate business to the means Hashem gave you. You’re thanking Hashem the entire way for the money you do have, giving charity (maaser) to make Hashem a partner in the business, and asking for a free gift. Why a free gift? Because Hashem doesn’t owe you anything and even if you had merit, still He wouldn’t owe it to you to give you success. 

Let’s give another practical life test I’m personally going through right now, and how to do this right. You are doing the best you can and between kids, inflation, the guy who hit the car and ran and more, despite your best efforts you are just not making ends meet right now. Something is going to have to give and it’s probably going to be putting the house on the chopping block.  

Being “realistic” means giving less than 10% maaser. “Realistic” also means cutting way back on expenditures but not being so calm or happy about it, especially within the nuclear family. Let’s be real, the situation is stressful and it ain’t pretty and most people don’t deal with it very well. 

But real emuna says – look only at Hashem, not the situation! On the one hand, you obviously need to do everything possible to reduce expenditures. Ten percent maaser must be given if the money is actually there, even if it seems that it will put you into the red faster. Not giving charity will only increase the judgements on your head, not reduce them. And most importantly, you’re happy and dancing! “Hashem, this is certainly good for me and it’s only going to get better and better for me! Whether that means with this house or in a rented apartment, You are only doing more and more good to me! I don’t have to understand it, and I’m saying thank You anyway!”  

You don’t resort to all sorts of schemes and wheeling and dealing to try to get more money. You don’t fall into depression thinking Hashem hates you, and you don’t become a monster to your family. Whenever that scary feeling starts coming up in your chest, you calm yourself by reminding yourself “somehow this is good, I’m going to let go and know that only more good is going to come out of it, no matter what happens.” 

It’s actually fantastically difficult because it makes no rational sense! Your mind, your body, and your emotions are totally against you. But when you set your mind to do it anyway, just putting yourself into the Creator’s big, strong, perfectly capable hands… that’s when the miracles happen.