Escape from Danger

Okay, I can finally come out with it- my husband and I have decided to make aliyah!! It feels so good to finally say it without worrying that my parents are going to find out! Thankfully, they found out from me and not through the grapevine! Whoah, that wouldn’t have been good… Anyways, since I have become more observant, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon. Those who are close to me suddenly look at me like I’m an alien that has landed here from another planet- and I’m talking about my Jewish family and friends! Human nature is a funny thing- when we encounter someone who acts and thinks differently from us, we view them as a nuisance or even as a threat. The funny thing is that if I were to tell a total stranger who is not Jewish that I’m moving to Israel, or that I’m becoming more observant, he would probably congratulate me and then ask me why I’m talking to him. Seriously, though, I have noticed that between Jews there is very little tolerance for differences of opinion.

Living in the United States, I have noticed some other interesting phenomena among Jews. One of the strangest is the issue of assimilation. I have slowly come to realize that within the “minorities” (I hate to use this word), each group has a great sense of pride about their background and heritage. They also make great effort to bring up their children with the same sense of pride, so their identity will always remain a part of them. They will never forget where they came from, and what hardships previous generations had to overcome for them to get here. Now what about us Jews? We behave completely the opposite, for the most part! How many of us know our family tree like the back of our hands? I sure don’t! I barely know about who lived before my grandparents! Where are the stories of my ancestors struggling against great oppression in order to keep their identity alive? I haven’t heard any! I’m not blaming anyone for my lack of knowledge- I’m just trying to point out that generally, we don’t make nearly as much effort to instill a sense of Judaism in our children as other ethnic groups do.

But how can we, if we are not acting like Jews? Aside from the religious groups in this country, what percent of Jews actually celebrate Shabbat instead of using it as a day to run errands or go to the beach? Shabbat dinner is so special and beautiful- it’s one of the rare times that the entire family can get together and enjoy a sumptuous, leisurely meal while connecting to the awesome and holy energy of Shabbat. What a wonderful way to get children excited about being Jewish! Let’s try to think like a child does. Each week, as the kids see their parents spending half the week buying food, cooking, and cleaning to host a beautiful Shabbat with friends and family, they get so excited for this day to arrive! They can’t wait to spend precious time with their parents and family without having to rush off to bed because there’s school the next morning! What about keeping kosher? This is a subject that still irritates me, even though I am trying to get over it. Why do I have to justify my “kosherness” to other Jews? Aren’t we obligated as Jews to eat only kosher food? Actually, Rebbe Nachman explains that eating a non-kosher animal makes it extremely difficult for a person to be sensitive to the needs of his soul.  But this is another subject. Back to my ranting- why do I have to miss out on family occasions because they want to go to a non-kosher restaurant and they want me to just sit there and watch them eat, just so I can be with them?! This is so common in families where there is one lone observant Jew, and it’s very frustrating!

And now that I am leaving for Israel, the precious land that God Himself gave to the Jewish People- do you think that most of the people in my circle are happy for me? No way! They think I’m crazy! Why would I take my kids out of a great country with a great life and away from our family to go live in a country that could blow up at any minute? Why, indeed. It reminds me of a story that Rabbi Brody likes to tell about animals living in the zoo. The first generation is brought in from the wild, and they tell their young ones all about what life was like in the wild. Eventually, several generations pass and the animals forgot that they even came from the wild! They have become so accustomed to a life in captivity, that they don’t even have the smallest desire to go back to their native home.

I think you get my point. The bottom line is that yet again, Jews are trying to assimilate into a foreign culture. They think that by doing so, they will be seen as equals of that culture and be fully accepted by the ones in control. Unfortunately, this leads to disastrous consequences. Look at our history- Egypt, Persia, Rome- all were great world empires that had many Jews trying to get into their inner circles. While some may have succeeded in the short term, the Jews of these generations risked getting completely wiped out as a result of this assimilation. To this day, we still haven’t learned our lesson. We are so far from realizing it! So much so, that my announcement makes many Jews wonder why I would want to go there, when life is so great here.

Assimilation is a deadly route- not only have we lost our identity as Jews, but we have adopted ideals of living that are completely against Torah ideals. And then we look at Torah ideals as being outdated or impractical. I have been asked over and over, “Why are you moving?” and my answer is, “I’m moving to give my kids a life of Torah, with innocence and simplicity.” Wow, have I gotten some strange looks! What, did I grow a third eye? What are these faces people are giving me? They don’t understand because they have been raised in captivity and they’ve forgotten where they came from!

But is life really so great here in America? What is so great about it? Most people are on anti-depressants, having affairs, or dreaming about having affairs! Are the children here growing up in wholesome environments? Teenage pregnancy rates are higher than ever- so high in fact, that there are actually high schools especially for pregnant girls! Kids are being poisoned with junk food, internet, and TV like never before.  If a kid is lucky enough to have both parents living in the same house, chances are they’re never home because they both have to work two jobs each just to pay off the mortgage and the credit cards. Where does this leave these neglected kids? On the streets, doing drugs, getting involved with gangs? Or maybe they’re home alone, surfing the internet, looking at things that we couldn’t even dream about in our worst nightmares. These days young adults aren’t rushing to get married and start families. The main focus is on building a career and going out for drinks to get over the stress of the fabulous career. What about building a family? For women this is a big issue because suddenly she’s almost 40 and still single. How is she supposed to compete with a 20-year-old for a husband?

No matter where we turn, we are bombarded and overloaded with ads telling us to lose weight while telling us we need to supersize our food portions! Have you really looked through a magazine without getting lost in it? One page is about plastic surgery. The next page is about the hottest restaurant that just opened up. The third page is about a dream vacation. It can make you crazy! Let me clarify the ideals being shoved down our throats- obsess with losing weight, obsess with making money, obsess with food, then you’ve got to drown out your obsessions with a Valium and a nightcap as you’re running away from reality by taking 4 vacations a year!

Ah, the glory of modern society.

I was accused of trying to escape from reality by moving my family to Israel. Sure, I’m escaping – from spiritual dangers of destruction, but certainly not from reality. First of all, is there any more “real” place in the world? All the action is right here! I just thought of a great slogan: “You want drama? Come to Israel!” Second, is this a bad thing? I’m trying to be a responsible parent and give my kids the best and purest life I can and I’m “running away” because of it?! What am I supposed to do- throw them into the middle of reality so they can be exposed to unwholesome movies, TV, video games, and worse? Is that being a good parent? These days, trying to protect our children from unhealthy influences is looked down upon. This is how far we’ve removed ourselves from who we are. We can’t even understand why other Jews would want a life different than the one we’ve gotten used to. We have been so incredibly desensitized to our heritage, that it’s become a point of stress between families- so much so that family members stop speaking because of such reasons!

Don’t even get me started on college. There is enough material for several articles on this subject alone. Let me just say that by pushing our children to attend college, we are setting them up for all kinds of failures. Yes, maybe you can say, “My son is a doctor” after $150,000 and 12 years of school and residency. But what about the environment he’s in? Heaven knows what goes on in those crazy fraternity houses, with their hazing, drinking, taking advantage of girls, and worse. Where is the ethical backbone we expect of our kids? If we willingly put them in such a destructive environment, is it fair that we should expect our children to be respectful, upstanding, responsible citizens with a good sense of right and wrong? Are they suddenly going to change their behavior after graduating college? What kind of a fantasy world are we living in? Everyone is promiscuous, under tremendous peer pressure to drink, learning a step-on-others mentality to get to the top- is this a setup for success? Maybe financial success, but definitely not life success. Your son the doctor might be earning six figures, but he has three ex-wives and a psychiatrist to support. I warned you not to let me get started!

When I think about how backwards our logic is, I can understand what Rabbi Brody means by saying that God is giving us wake-up calls. It is a simple spiritual law: when we follow a Torah lifestyle, we will earn our rightful place as the sparkling jewel in The King’s crown. If we choose to ignore our obligations, we will be the lowest, most persecuted group in the world. It’s not rocket science, people. All those who want fake peace treaties and governments blowing up other governments to solve our problems for us are far away from the answer. If we really want to bring an end to all of our pain and suffering, it’s time we stop running away from who we are. We should be proud of being different. As Rav Arush and Rabbi Brody say, “All we need to do is turn to Hashem with all our hearts, and He will take care of the rest.” Even if you’re not religious and don’t intend on becoming religious, it doesn’t matter right now. You are still a precious child in your Father’s eyes. Just talk to Him. Open your heart and let Him in. It’s not too late….