Impressing Others

Translated by Rabbi Lazer Brody

 
People who try to impress others rarely succeed. On the contrary, they’re frequent losers in life. Why? When you try to impress others, you’re neither impressing Hashem nor impressing yourself. Deep down, you know it’s all a show and a lie. What a waste!
 
Take money, for example: people whose entire goal in life is making money will find money elusive; more often times than not, they’ll have problems with debt. Why? Money chasers are never happy with their lot. They take out huge loans and mortgages and with money that isn’t really theirs and live a life they can’t afford. They make risky business deals throwing caution to the wind and spend money on anything and everything they want; they fool themselves into thinking that flaunting money (which they invariably don’t have) is good for business in order to show others how successful they are.
 
After the recent mortgage crash in the USA two years ago, a mortgage banker who had lost almost everything took his last few dollars to buy a plane ticket to Israel; he wanted my advice and blessing. When he came to visit me, he broke down and cried, telling me that from his former seven-figure annual income, he could no longer pay the grocery bills. When I asked him about his family budget and spoke to him about cutting everything but the most necessary expenditures, he refused to sell his Cadillac. “If I do, everyone will know I’m in trouble,” he claimed. In such a manner, the Evil Inclination of imaginary money and success clouds a person’s brain – let the children starve, but drive a Cadillac. Soon afterwards, he lost the car too.
 
Ultimately, the truth is revealed. The bills come and there are insufficient funds in the bank account to pay them. The credit card companies demand what is theirs. The money-grabbers and people-impressers built their entire lives around plastic purchases and using money that wasn’t theirs. Now the bubble bursts…
 
When people in the synagogue start whispering that they saw debt collector’s knocking on the Cadillac-owner’s front door, they’re not impressed by him anymore.
 
Trying to impress others is a form of fear of other people. That’s completely the opposite of emuna. The money that people squander on clothes competition and designer labels is certainly not designed to get them closer to Hashem, yet we see such cutthroat social competition even in religious communities.
 
True emuna is not a long beard or garb; it’s being happy with your lot in life. Emuna is knowing that Hashem gives you your omer – the daily portion of whatever you need to do your task on earth.
 
A person must be happy with his lot in life and develop a frugal lifestyle. On a practical level, this means that everyone must provide the necessities for himself and his household. Necessities include such things as food and clothing. A person should avoid impulse buying and needless purchases, especially when it comes to things he can’t afford. This may sound simple; but, how often do people actually heed such advice?
 
Trying to impress others is counter-productive to income too. Here’s how:
 
Rebbe Natan writes in Likutei Halachot that trust in Hashem is the best way to acquire wealth. One should cast his eyes towards the Heavens, the source of wealth. In doing so, he fulfills the words of King David in Psalm 145, “The eyes of all look towards you, and you give them their food in the proper time.” Rebbe Nachman writes in Likutei Moharan(I:76), “it is through looking up with complete trust in Hashem that anyone can transform himself into a vessel capable of receiving wealth. Hashem’s countenance and blessings are constantly being bestowed upon the entire world. A person cannot receive any of it, however, until he prepares a worthy receptacle. Looking up to the Heavens and trusting in Hashem completely transforms you into the vessel that is able to receive blessings in their proper time.”
 
In other words, we should be concerned about how we look in Hashem’s eyes, and not how we look in the eyes of other people. When Mashiach comes, everyone will wish that he or she had put a greater emphasis on learning emuna rather than trying to impress other people. Emuna is the key word.