Layers and Layers

Imagine this: I’m walking down the beach in 90 degree humid Miami weather, wearing…..16 layers of clothes! I’ve got a short sleeve shirt on, a long sleeve shirt over that, a button-down shirt over that, several layers of sweaters, and at least two ski jackets on. And let’s not forget the socks, 4 or 5 skirts, and ski boots (I’ve got to match the jackets!). Unless I’m planning to scale the Himalayan Mountains, I’ll bet I’m going to get a few stares and a few more giggles. Why in the world would I want to drag myself around in so many extra, unnecessary layers, and especially in this unbearable heat? Am I crazy? (Don’t answer that.)

Well, guess what, folks- I’m not the only crazy one. You are just as crazy as I am! You’re also walking around in 16 or maybe even 20 layers of clothes, dragging yourselves through day after day, panting, sweating, and suffering from the intensity of the scorching sun beating down on your parkas. However, there’s obviously one twist- our layers are invisible! Even though we don’t see them, we can certainly feel them. How so? I’ll explain.

Let’s start with the first and most substantial layer- our thoughts. Do our thoughts not place a severe mental and physical burden on us when those thoughts are negative? When we are sad or depressed, do we skip around like fairies on a spring day, or do we drag the proverbial ball and chain on our swollen ankles? Let’s now look at another aspect of our thoughts- the way we view others and the way we want others to view us. Many people are so preoccupied with how they look, who they’re attracting, who looks attractive to them, who’s unattractive, who’s wearing what, who’s dating whom, who broke up with whom…goodness, the list is endless! Already within this first layer, we’ve weighed ourselves down with at least 30 pounds of clothing.

What layer could possibly be heavier on our bodies and souls than our thoughts?

The second layer is- our emotions. Whoah, is this ever a complicated layer! I think I would create subgroups of emotional layers- one white linen layer for happy, a dark blue fleece layer for sad, a black denim layer for depressed, and let’s not forget the crazy crumpled fabric in multi-colored tie dye for those times when we’re feeling really confused! When I think about how exhausting it would be to have to change clothes 40 or 50 times a day, I now understand why it is so draining to go through every emotion each day as well! Imagine- I’m happy, okay let’s put on the linen outfit. I’m sad- take off the linen outfit, put on the blue sweater. I’m happy again- take off the blue sweater, put on the linen outfit. I’m angry- whoah, rip off that linen outfit, throw on that jagged red dress! You get the picture- even though our emotions are not physical, we all know that there are physical consequences we feel as a result of them.

Third layer- our desires. What do we desire? Are we dreaming about the shiny new convertible, or the luxury villa on the ocean? Are we consumed with thoughts of a certain person? What about money? How many of us think about making more money all the time? We rationalize that if we just had more money, our lives would be so much better and easier. (On a side note, how is it possible that most of us still fall for this ancient favorite trick of the Yetzer? Aren’t we all familiar with the saying, “more money, more problems”?) 

Fourth layer- our speech. If we actually saw every word coming out of our mouths, I think most of us would prefer to keep our mouths shut! I know I would! The Zohar states that every word we say creates an angel. If we say positive words, we create defending angels that will protect us when we need it. If we say negative words, we create accusing angels that can harm us in countless ways. Already we can see that if we add all of these layers together, they become quite heavy! Wait, I’m not done yet. 

Fifth layer- our actions. If we do positive actions, we might be wearing a light, comfortable sweater that’s just perfect for a cool autumn evening. If we do negative actions, then here comes the stiff, itchy wool sweater with some hideous reindeer embroidered by Grandma on the front! The thing about this fifth layer is that is really a result and a culmination of the other four layers.

What about when we’re fed up with everything (especially ourselves) and we just want to get rid of all those layers and run around in our birthday suits? Aside from the fact that this could land us in jail, is there any way to make our spiritual layers feel weightless?

Rebbe Nachman says there is! (And no one will be offended!) I realized something interesting- why do so many people visit psychologists and psychiatrists? The bottom line is, they’re looking for someone to talk to! They need an unbiased ear that will listen to everything they’re going through, and that will help guide them on the proper path. I can personally say that I have always felt better after talking with a good friend about some issue that may have bothered me. This is good, but it is not enough. Of course, I am referring to personal prayer as the answer. God is our Ultimate Psychologist, and He’s just waiting with a comfortable couch, ready for us to air all of our problems and our feelings. When we spend an hour a day in personal prayer, we can begin to feel the layers becoming lighter and lighter, and soon they will indeed feel weightless. Not only do our layers lighten up, but our personal tribulations also lighten up. When we talk to God and we ask Him to help us, we can really see how things that couldn’t be resolved before actually get resolved, many times even with very little help from us! After talking to The Creator, I feel like I am strolling along the shore in a flowing white cotton dress, and not the heaping, hunched-over mass of mismatched jackets and ski boots. I can move, I can breathe deeply! If you’re looking to get rid of a few layers yourself, all you have to do is talk! Your heavenly couch is waiting!