The High-Elevated Nose

Finding a soul-mate is no easy task. A long time ago, Rav Shalom Arush taught me that the higher a person’s nose is, the more difficult it is to find his or her soul-mate.

That’s understandable, for several reasons:

First, when a person’s nose is high in the air, he or she can’t see what’s going on down on the ground. Their true soul-mate could have been right there in front of their nose, so to speak, but their nose was up somewhere in the meandering among the springtime clouds.

Second, when one’s nose is up in the air, it’s ever so hard to make proper judgments. The higher you go, the thinner the oxygen. The brain needs enough oxygen to function properly. In regard to shidduchim (matchmaking or dating, loosely translated), the individual with the high-elevated nose overestimates himself and sorely underestimates a match that might be perfect for him. His or her power of judgment is sorely impaired.

Third, the higher one’s nose is, the greater the distance between him or her and ground level; that makes a fall ever more dangerous. Here’s an example in matchmaking: Shnooky Gallblatt spends more time text-messaging than he does learning Gemara, despite the fact that he’s a yeshiva student. Shnooky is also grossly overweight with a complexion that reflects his intake of pizzas and coke. He wears elevated shoes to stretch his five-foot-four height into something that approaches five-foot-six. Yet, he can’t understand why Rivkal’e, the gorgeous daughter of the Rosh Yeshiva, won’t even give him the time of day. In another ten years, when Rivka will be expecting her fifth or sixth child, lonely Shnooky will still be pining for her. Reality is a crash-landing for him. He’s now wasting his time and money looking for the right analyst instead of the right soul-mate.

Conversely, humble people – who keep their noses at low elevation – don’t take steep falls. They also find their soul-mates with far few headaches and much more readily.

The Gemara teaches us that finding a soul-mate is just as difficult as splitting the Red Sea. What’s the connection between the two?

When the Children of Israel were on the banks of the Red Sea, exposed to the imminent threat of Pharaoh’s rapidly approaching army, Hashem told Moses to command the Israelites to move forward. Nachshon, the son of Aminadav and the head of the tribe of Judah, was the first to jump in the water.

The Midrash tells us that Nachshon was first waist-deep then chest-deep in water. But, the Red Sea didn’t split until its waters reached the level of Nachshon’s nostrils and he could no longer breathe. King David, Nachshon’s fifth-generation grandson, describes this dramatic event in Psalm 69 when he says, “Save me, Hashem, for the water has reached the level of my soul!” One’s nostrils must be exposed to oxygen for one to live. Thus, by virtue of Nachshon’s dedication, the Red Sea split.

Let’s imagine what would have happened if Nachshon were ten-feet tall and his nose was so much higher. The Israelites would have had to wait much longer for the water to reach his nostrils – “the level of his soul” – and by that time, Pharaoh and the Egyptians might have succeeding in attacking. We owe the freedom of our people and the splitting of the Red Sea to the fact that Nachshon’s nose was not high up in the air…

Now, we can understand the Gemara: if finding a soulmate is comparable to splitting the Red Sea, and the lower one’s nose is, the faster the Red Sea splits, then it stands to reason that the lower one’s nose is, the faster he or she will find a soul-mate.

We’ve now established an important principle in spirituality, particularly the spirituality of shidduchim: Humility and salvation are directly proportionate – the more the humility, the greater (in speed and magnitude) the salvation.

Hashem says that He and the arrogant person can’t dwell in the same universe. Conversely, humility enhances one’s proximity to Hashem. Hashem gives special gifts to those who are close to Him. Since finding one’s true soul-mate is one of Hashem finest gifts, the humble stand a much better chance of finding their bashert – their intended – quickly and easily. May all those who need a soul-mate find theirs too, in the nearest future, amen.