Seeing the Light

Warriors of Transcendence, Part 43
 
The sixth day:
 
“You have already been to the Tower,” says Tzalaii, as our next encounter begins. “You have been judged, and even taken to the Southern Mines. But you were an awful student, and you have not yet learned from these experiences.”
 
I object and he corrects himself: “In any case, you have yet to learn with the clarity of a Warrior of Transcendence.”
 
Just like the last time, his words are followed by a vision. Tzalaii paces back and forth in a yellow field, in full bloom, part of a colorful landscape flowing with scents, motion and life. “Sihara passed through here as well,” he remarks, as if this fact is relevant to me, and then says: “Let’s take a walk.”
 
A soft breeze bends a row of yellow flowers and then soars again. A bird is visible in the distant horizon, soaring slowly.
 
“Due to the limitations of time,” he begins, “we shall touch the heart of matters today”.
 
His words remind me of our dance and of the words, “You are the heart of the world.”
 
“The Deathliners may appear,” he whispers to me as a warning.
 
I understand nothing, but a cloud obscures his face transforming all of the beauty around us into emptiness. “Therefore, your initiation training shall be short and harried. What more, all I shall do is remind you. We have already discussed this more than once.”
 
A dim, unclear memory passes through my consciousness.  Distant, forgotten days.  Somewhere, sometime I have already been a student of Tzalaii’s.
 
“This time I shall not disappoint him,” I promise.
 
We sit on a large rock surrounded by red flora. The sky is clear once again as Tzalaii speaks:  “The Law of Transformation rule nature,” he begins.
 
I am surprised. Every child knows that all living things change and renew their forms and are not eternal! What is my mentor trying to teach me? Suddenly I recall Mahn’s words:
 
‘All entities of the world undergo transformation’ the Inviewer had said. ‘The world is composed of many circles, life and death, growth and destruction. Even simple men are compelled to adhere to the Law of Transformation, and are controlled by the great circle of change. Eventually all of mans dreams, passions and disappointments vanish in the wind like fleeting dust, worthless and meaningless.’
 
Mahn spoke of the belief the inhabitants of the Tower lived by: Redemption from the Law of Transformation.
 
What would Tzalaii say about this?
 
“Be calm,” says Tzalaii. “There is a rationale for Mahn’s words, but the Emperors’ solution is false. They are all slaves to the Law of Transformation.”
 
Anger is apparent in his words and I am amazed that such bitterness could be present in a heart so pure. The desires of man, even the strongest ones, are part of the transformation cycle. At times we desire something with all of our being, only to abhor and flee from the very same thing at another time. Our desires are revealed, destruct and are lost in the transformation oblivion. All acquisition is subject to the Law of Transformation. Such foolishness!”
 
“Is there another way?” I wonder.
 
“The other option,” he says, suddenly seeming taller, “is the secret of resignation. According to the Law of Transformation, everything is lost. But whatever you relinquish escapes and flies from the Law of Transformation.”
 
This is beyond my comprehension, I think.
 
“So what, if anything, is left to be desired?” I ask.
 
He gazes at the graying sky silently and then answers: “All things, all desires, can avoid the Law of Transformation, but first they must be transformed according to the desire of the One.”
 
“But what must be desired?” I ask, feeling like a mindless entity faced with such deep, unfathomable wisdom. Tzalaii removes his musical instrument from his cape and answers my question with a song: “You are the heart of the world.”
 
I refuse to join in and open my eyes.
 
The seventh day:
 
There have been so many new insights in the past six days. I was almost fearful of meeting Tzalaii again. Who knows what will come next.   How can I be a Warrior of Transcendence after absconding from my last vision like a small, scared rabbit? I sit at the entrance to the cave, take a deep breath of clear air, feel the dampness of the wall and close my eyes. I see myself sitting alone on a wooden bench in a mountain forest overlooking a wide terrain. Echoes of woodland birds are heard in all directions. The sun is setting, painting the clouds in hues of bright orange and lavender. Birds fly by us in short, fast flight, seeking refuge for the night.
 
“Tzalaii,” I whisper.
 
“I am already with you,” is his immediate answer. “You no longer need to see me from the outside.”
 
I smile joyfully. Tzalaii is already inside of me. I am Tzalaii. My eyes, looking into the distance, are his eyes. His voice is in my heart, and he is my guide.

 “A Warrior of Transcendence,” he says, and my heart skips a beat, “must transform external beauty into internal beauty.”
 
To what could I transform the magical moments of the sunset? I wonder.
 
Suddenly I become conscious of the unfamiliar landscape. It is not my familiar world. It is neither the Northern Forests nor the Rain Forests. Am I observing the future?
 
“You are observing your inner soul, and getting to know your strengths.”
 
I feel a great need to cry as night descends over the world, my inner world, and lights appear in the distance like the lights of a great city, buzzing with life. I cry uncontrollably, without knowing why, and feel as though I am being freed from a heavy burden. There is so much that I have been oblivious to inside of myself: birds, clouds, skies, trees blowing in the wind, soaring treetops, and grand rocks covered in moss, and in the distance- large wide expanses, illuminated with many lights. Suddenly the light appears to me as a multitude of lit candles, possibly the lights of souls I have encountered in another time?
 
My world is as transparent as a clear crystal ball. The darkness around me does not threaten me, but greets me with an embrace. It is full of the warm winds of hope, engendering security and courage. The tears continue to fall. I had been so lonely until now, so far away from the richness of my inner life.  And now I feel comforted, yet I am ashamed. Is it fair for me to feel comfort when somewhere in the Land of the Ancient Progeny, enemy armies are preparing to attack? But despite this negative thought, the beauty of this moment is not dimmed. Lights flicker in the distance and I watch and observe. This life inside of myself, when would I merit to enter and discover it? When will I uncover the secret? If I were only able to wander around here forever…
 
Suddenly I sense I am in danger. These are not the words of Tzalaii! I feel a sudden sharp pain in my ribs, as if to say: ‘I have come here to gain strength, not to get lost!’
 
“You must relinquish” I recall Tzalaii’s words. “You must be willing to forego all of this!”
 
 I close my eyes, and through the tears, I begin to sing softly: “You are the heart of the world.”
 
The eighth day:
 
“The seventh is always special,” explains Tzalaii.
 
I thought that he would only be found in my inner world from now on, but here he is, sitting across from me on the beach, gazing into the distant horizon, a breeze caressing the edges of his cloak.
 
“Why have we returned to this place?” I ask, “You told me that this was a childish scenario.” “Aren’t you a child again?” he answers with a smile. “Don’t you desire to always be at the starting point? To relinquish means to forego everything”, he explains.
 
Then he points into the depths and adds: “And this is the explanation of your words: Just no arrogance.”
 
Again, I do not understand. I expect him to continue talking, but he arises, ensconced in silence and gestures for me to follow him. The wind grows stronger and gray clouds fill the sky. The sand feels soft and smooth. A cliff can be seen in the distance, and after a long walk we reach its base. He sits down, points to the sand, inviting me to sit by his side. He places his finger over his mouth so that I remain silent, and gazes at the stormy waters, guiding me to look in the same direction. I see nothing. The whistling wind causes his hair to become disheveled, sand is scattered through the air and the waves wash up by our feet. A white dot appears in the sea and gets closer to us. It is a boat. Where did it come from in such stormy weather? As it nears us, I notice a child aboard. It is the boy I had seen in the blue tent. He sits in a royal manner, his eyes exquisitely beautiful.
 
I recall my sister’s words: ‘If you cannot reach the Master of Transcendence, he will find you.’
 
Tzalaii points to the boat, and then boards it as soon as it reaches the shore. All is silent, and I understand that I am not to speak.
 
“Come,” Tzalaii says, motioning to me with his hand. I am momentarily fearful, but the eyes of the Master of Transcendence are focused on me and I know that I will soon be safe and protected even in the heart of the most dangerous storm. As we sail out to sea, the winds calm. The Master of Transcendence tightens his golden cloak, with its delicate light blue embroidery and gazes at the water that surrounds us.
 
“Just no arrogance,” he says as I look into the black waters.
 
 “All of this eternal depth, all of the great, deep abysses,” he adds melodiously, “do not contain even a drop of arrogance. They will eternally allow the wind to carry them and cast them in any way it desires. They will forever hold in their innards myriads of fish, aquatic plants and corals. Accepting all of this, accepting and asking for nothing.”
 
‘Water will extinguish the fire,’ a thought crosses through my mind from somewhere.
 
The Master of Transcendence continues: “The same is true for you. The moment you relinquish your existence, you will become worthy of the crown of royalty. He who foregoes his arrogance, his false royalty, becomes a tool of service to the Light of the Transcendor.”
 
I raise my eyebrows in wonder. What is the Light of the Transcendor?
 
As if able to hear my thoughts, the Master of Transcendence explains: “When the Light of the Transcendor shines, it causes the illuminated entity to return to its original condition. It destroys the evil that had gathered in it and leaves it with its primary goodness.   Feelings of superiority, of being better than others, are a distortion that can be harmed by the Light of the Transcendor. You must be wary.”
 
He is silent now, allowing his words to settle in my heart. Then he continues: “Soon your initiation training shall be complete. The places visited by Sihara- have now been visited by you.”
 
He pauses for a moment noticing the look of awe on my face, and adds with a smile: “From your side.”
 
He holds my hand affectionately, and I feel his strength and warmth infusing my being. The sea is now completely calm as we approach the shore.
 
To be continued.
  
***

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