Inspiring Others
Don’t worry about discussing Emuna even when you’re not yet on the level about which you’re speaking. On the contrary, by inspiring others, you repay your debts to Hashem…
Translated by Ephraim Portnoy
Question: Sometimes when I speak about Emunah and Yirat Shamayim (fear of heaven) with my friends, I feel as if I’m fooling myself, as if I’m talking about things which I myself don’t live by.
Answer: You should be happy that you actually do talk about Yirat Shamayim with your friends. People are usually very embarrassed to discuss Hashem with others. They’re afraid that people will think that they’ve become some type of Tzaddik. But honestly, to speak openly about Emunah is in fact appropriate for a descendant of Avraham Avinu, who spent his life revealing the Truth of Hashem to everyone he could. Trying to find a way to bring Emunah into every conversation you have with people is the right thing to do.
About your feeling as if you aren’t being sincere because you aren’t really holding what you are saying: The Rebbe taught a parable (see Chayei Moharan, Avodat Hashem) about a wealthy man who lent money to many people who didn’t return their loans. One of the borrowers felt bad that he didn’t have anything with which to pay him back. He decided that it’s at least worthwhile it to tell the wealthy man his feelings, and to apologize to him.
The rich man answered him, “the small amount which you owe me, what’s it worth already? You see how much I’m owed altogether, and nobody’s paying me back? At least go to the other borrowers and remind them that they owe me. Even if each of them will only pay back a little of what they owe, it would still add up to a sum much greater than what you yourself owe.”
Therefore, there’s nothing to worry about in speaking about Emunah and Avodat Hashem even when you see that you are not really holding on the level on which you are speaking. On the contrary, when you yourself aren’t able to return your “debts” to Hashem, inspire other people to. Maybe they will pay back even just a little.
Furthermore, especially because you feel so far from this type of talk, you are duty-bound to strengthen yourself through speaking about Emunah and Yirat Shamayim. Talking about something can help inspire the speaker in that topic. The Rebbe in Likutei Moharan 106 teaches that advice for a person who can’t get himself out of his low emotional state is to help others achieve a greater frame of mind.
Even if your friend doesn’t get inspired and doesn’t accept your words, you still have the ability to inspire you yourself through your own talking. It’s like someone who throws a ball at the wall, and the ball bounces back to him. So too, when someone shares inspirational ideas with his friend, it’s very possible that the inspiration will bounce back to the speaker, and he himself will be inspired more than if he would have told it to himself. (See Sichot Haran 99)
Many people have testified that at times that they experienced difficult trials and confusion, until their entire spiritual drive was weakened, at those times especially they forced themselves to speak with their friends about those points which they themselves didn’t feel as if they wanted to strengthen themselves in because of the tests that they were going through. From speaking about these things even when they felt that they are fooling themselves, the inner point of their heart was awakened, and they merited being saved from their tests.
At the same time, it’s important to keep in mind a few points about discussing Yirat Shamayim with friends:
It is important to be careful not to get dragged into arguments and “clarifications” of different paths and opinions in Avodat Hashem. In these issues, every person should ask his own Rav. Usually, nothing comes out of these arguments. The main thing we are trying to do by speaking with friends is to search for the truth, and to come close to Hashem, not to have a theoretical argument which has no practical application.
Part of our discussions with friends is also to hear the other person, and to pay attention to what he’s saying. Each person has a point which his friend doesn’t have, and it’s always possible to get encouragement from someone else, no matter whom it is, and where he “belongs”. When you will believe in every Jew, that each one certainly has a unique point, you will be able to take out many wonderful things.
Even when you are not holding by what you are talking about, still, you have to try to have at least a little sincerity. Believe in what you are saying, and to try to awaken within yourself a yearning for what you are discussing.
The Rebbe said that talking about Yirat Shamayim is like drinking wine, which picks up the heart, “The way a little wine picks up the heart, and drinking a lot of wine makes a person drunk, so too discussions, if it has at least a little sincerity, even if it has a lot of fake-ness and arrogance. But if there isn’t any truth in his words and is only full of fake-ness and pride, and after the discussion the speaker leaves and commits all the sins in the world, these words don’t pick up the heart, like drinking a lot of wine.” (Chayei Moharan, Avodat Hashem)
The main thing is to know an important rule regarding discussions with friends, that not every enlightening thought which Hashem gave you in Avodat Hashem is relevant to others, even if it seems to you to be perfectly true. Therefore, we don’t go into another person’s domain in order to fix him, and we don’t go into the fine details of Avodat Hashem, unless both parties agree to come together to clarify an issue in a friendly manner. Overall, the conversation should be universal; to talk about the wonders of Hashem, to bring a complete Emunah into your friend’s heart, “Because the main Mitzvah and obligation to discuss Yirat Shamayim with friends is in order to broaden one’s mind, because the main thing is to take oneself and one’s friend out of small mindedness into a broader focus. Therefore, it is important to be very careful not to look so much into one’s friend, because even though it is a great Mitzvah to discuss Yirat Shamayim with friends, it is still necessary to be very careful that the whole endeavor will be for the good and to help fix, and not the opposite, and not to cause fights and hatred. Everyone involved in speaking about the holy, true understanding and awareness of Hashem with his friends needs to also embrace the attribute of silence, because every Jew has a border and a fence for himself in his mind to understand and grasp until the border where he is able to understand. (Likutei Halachos Shutfim B’Karka 5:14-17)When you will shine the light of Hashem to your friend, he will use it for whatever he will make use of it for, according to his own abilities and understandings. The main thing is to reveal the light of Emunah that Hashem is with him and next to him.
It is well known that Reb Levi Yitzchak Binder once said that he lived in Uman for many years, and he never heard anyone mixing into another person’s life, even though they would have many discussions in Emunah and Yirah.
***
(Courtesy of the “Gates of Emunah” publication)
Tell us what you think!
Thank you for your comment!
It will be published after approval by the Editor.