Home Work 101

For quite some time now I have been trying to make changes in my attitude towards housework in general and washing dishes in particular but it is often still a struggle for me to pick up the dish soap and sponge. Even though I may get an A for effort, it seems the yetzer hora (evil inclination) gets an A plus.   I try to remind myself of the teaching of Rebbe Nachman zt”l, brought down from his great-grandfather, the Baal Shem Tov zt”l, that all mundane chores are an opportunity for Divine Service and should be carried out with joy. If we can just raise ourselves above the physical aspect of these duties to the spiritual realm, we would understand that all of this effort is just a means to an end. On the surface it appears that we undertake these chores simply to look after the material needs of our household. The reality is, we do it to ensure our families are healthy, happy and clear-minded enough to serve Hashem with all our hearts and souls. As odd as it sounds, having clean clothes and nourishing meals is essential for emotional health and spiritual growth.

Once I win the battle against my yetzer and begin the task of dish-washing, it always turns out to be a much needed break. It is a prime opportunity to be alone with my thoughts and since I try to keep Hashem constantly in my thoughts, I use the solitude to do a little hitbodedut as well. Hitbodedut is essentially personal prayer, but it is really just talking out one’s innermost feelings with G-d on a one-on-one basis. Who could ask for more than that? Not only do my dishes get clean, but my soul receives a little purifying as well.

If we use our imaginations to travel back in time to a period when there was no running water and no grocery stores, we will realize how silly it is to complain about housework. Our Mother, Sarah, welcomed so many guests into her home, a mere tent, and had none of the amenities we take for granted. Not only did the women of that time have to travel to a well to fetch water but they made their own food from the produce they grew themselves. Their clothes were all sewn manually and washed by hand either in a nearby river or a bucket of water. There were no such things as Shabbat timers, baby bottle warmers or disposable diapers. Once the candles burnt out on Shabbat, there was total darkness (with the exception of Sarah for whom miracles were abundant). Granted, life was different then with none of the hustle and bustle of today. There were no car pools and no after-school programs to send the children. But let’s face it; wouldn’t you much rather scrub a tiled bathroom than have to trek to the out-house meters away in the middle of the night?

We live in a ‘me’ generation, where our own personal comfort and self-gratification often clouds our judgment and wrecks marital peace; we forget our true goals on this earth. Sarah was always happy because she was close to Hashem. She and many others of that generation understood that their sole purpose of existence was to serve their Creator… OUR Creator. They were on such a high spiritual level that they turned to G-d for all of their needs. Despite their extremely primitive and difficult way of life, they didn’t question their hardships as we do today. We should never allow ourselves to give in to frustration since we have so many blessings, material and otherwise, to be thankful for.

Rebbe Nachman taught (Likutey Moharan 30:5) “The essential joy comes from mitzvot”. Our first obligation as women is to our families and all the routine work that comes along with it. By fulfilling this obligation with the mindset that it is the greatest mitzvah we can perform, our hearts, and the Neshamas (souls) of those entrusted to us, will be filled with joy.

As the world has progressed in all aspects of civilization, so too has the educational system. Passing knowledge down through the generations has developed from small, one-room classrooms into the major educational institutions of today. With such a wide array of choices, we must be extremely careful when choosing schools for ourselves or our children. Only those with Yirat Shomayim (Fear of Heaven) at the top of their curriculum are worthy of our Holy Neshamot.

Entrance into our lowly material world is like a child’s admission to school. They didn’t ask to go and weren’t given a choice but are told it is for their own good. As we age, we adjust to the reality and realize that we must make important choices. With each passing year we grow in awareness and expand our understanding. The information we acquire is useful to gain access to the next level, as we advance from one stage to the next. Baruch Hashem, thank G-d, we have teachers and rabbis to assist us when the going gets rough. In Home Work 101 and in all other classes, we can only proceed to the next grade if we pass all the tests. Hashem frequently sends us tests like the pop quizzes we suddenly had to tackle in school. If we paid attention in class, the answers would be obvious and we’d have no problem finding the solution.

In many exams it isn’t just the final answers that count, as marks are also given for each step showing how you arrived at those answers. We have already learned the material; it’s just a matter of re-familiarizing ourselves and being able to live it properly. If we try our best and strive to find the correct answers through earnest study and daily prayer we should pass with flying colors. Beware lest we seek success for the sake of personal achievement, in which case we should endeavor to adjust our motivation. Being Valedictorian is only praiseworthy if one earned it honorably and for the sake of the Student Body.

Unlike our sisters of yesteryear, since we are on an inferior spiritual plane, it is a greater challenge to retain our level-headedness and look at all adversity through emuna eyes. But as any teacher will tell you, exams are graded by the level of difficulty and the rewards are proportionate.

Like the case of the dirty dishes, we should always try to focus on our ultimate objectives as well as the task at hand. All our actions should be performed only for the Sake of Heaven, with a feeling of delight in recognizing that we are upholding Hashem’s Will.  For when it comes time for Final Exams and we are seated before the Holy One, Blessed be He, we want to be able to stand proudly before Him with our lily-white graduation cloak and shining gold crown. Only then will we know that we made the grade.