Jerusalem of Gold
Rabbi Akiva and his wife started out in abject poverty, without even a fitting place to live. They slept in a barn, covering themselves at night with straw…
The Garden of Riches, Part 18
People often think that by making purchases immediately, they’ll avoid arguments. Nothing can be further from the truth. Although this may seem true at the outset, the burden of debt carries a bundle of strife. The notebook method of writing down debt to oneself and his household is a sure method of avoiding a lot of hassle. A person should say the following frequently:
“Thanks to you Hashem I have such a sum of money, I and my household live on what You provide us. Whatever we lack I will pray to Hashem to provide. In the meantime, I will look only at what I do have and will be satisfied with my lot. The bottom line is that I am just a clerk in the service of Hashem, so instead of suffering the terrible torment of being a debtor I prefer to suffer minor deficiencies here and there while working on the trait of being happy with my lot in life and thereby kindle such happiness in my household that the y don’t feel deficiency in any way.”
And he should also say to himself:
“I have written in my notebook all that I owe each member of my household. I will strengthen my resolve to increase my prayers and do everything possible – confident that Hashem will help me – to honor them and fulfill their needs. This must surely be the will of Hashem, that I pray to him for my every need and that He will provide for me. For this reason alone Hashem created the world, for Hashem can fulfill all my needs in the blink of an eye, providing for me swiftly and effortlessly. This is the truth the only truth! This is the only correct way to live under Hashem’s providence. In order for me not to feel that I lack anything, I will learn from the “Garden of Emuna” and reinforce my faith that Hashem’s exacting providence is the best insurance in my life. I will work on Emuna until I and the members of my household will always be happy with our lot”.
Not rushing into debt doesn’t mean shirking our responsibilities and using a notebook as an excuse to unburden oneself from his obligations to his wife. This would be a breach of morals and a denial of the obligations of the ketubah (marriage contract) as we have said before. When a person acts apathetically saying that his “hands are tied and can’t provide,” this is tantamount to immorality toward his primary creditor, his wife. Although he must work on staying out of debt, towards his wife he must always be cheerful and encouraging. He should tell her, “My darling wife! I will get you what you asked for! I will not rest until I do!”
Rabbi Akiva and his wife started out in abject poverty, without even a fitting place to live. They slept in a barn covering themselves at night with straw. Each morning he would lovingly remove the straw entangled in her hair, and speak kindly to her, encouraging and comforting her. He would promise that someday when he would be wealthy he would buy her an expensive piece of jewelry called the “Jerusalem of gold”. Due to the way he honored his wife he eventually became the great sage of Israel, a fact he openly stated noting that his great stature was all due to his wife. By honoring her he received vast treasures of strength and blessings from her soul which he put towards his great learning and thereby acquiring wealth too (Gemara, tractate Nedarim 50).
To be continued.
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