The Encounter

 

 

 

 

Within a song of love which depicts the mystical union between the Creator and His Children, Shlomo HaMelech (King Solomon) teaches us that there are two steps in this encounter.  Reconciliation, return to the source, like any experience, is made up of highs and lows.

There will thus be one way of undergoing the good periods, the highs, and another method for traversing the time of trial, the lows.  If we know these processes and employ them judiciously, we will succeed in our Return to God.

 

 

When we feel our souls rising up our maxim will be: I am my Beloved’s; we must then avoid the self-importance that this state causes us to feel.  We should rather intensify the demands we make on ourselves, not allowing the stumbling block that lies in wait for us during the high periods to be satisfied with the first results.  By constantly calling ourselves into question, by continuously applying the verse:  "I am my Beloved’s," i.e. "I keep yearning for Him and I do not appease myself by my previous accomplishments," with this method, we will be able to avoid this obstacle.  This approach will also allow us to take in provisions of force and courage, which will be of great benefit during the inevitable return of the low periods.

 

 

Winter follows summer, night follows day, falls and depressions are strewn along the road of return.  We will explain subsequently the exact meaning of the falls, their reason for being.

 

Let us now see how to tackle these difficult moments, these inevitable ordeals.  We must simply etch on our hearts the final words of the verse: "But my Beloved is mine."  Whatever my fall, God is with me.  Knowing this, and remembering it at the right moment, being expert in this skill, I will avoid the stumbling block of discouragement.  This feeling of abandonment, which leads us to relinquish everything because of a failure, has no reason for being, since God is ours. He is with us, within us, despite our collapses.  If we let this truth sink in, we will be able to accomplish at least what we can.  We will strengthen ourselves as best we can by repeating: "Stand firm, God is with you, do not let go!"  In this way, we will come through the storm triumphantly.

 

We shall now discuss the mechanism of downfalls: What does it mean to go down?

 

To go down means to lose the taste and enthusiasm that we once felt.  Suddenly we no longer see the light that was guiding us.  This is not evil in itself, but it can lead to negative results.  When does the fall lead to evil?  When it is misunderstood.  On the other hand, if it is considered as an indispensable stage in the progress then, even though it temporarily slows our development, it will not cause us to lose out completely.

 

The basic test that all of us are obliged to pass is to overcome the hurdle that separates us from being our Beloved’s, that of our true attachment:  How will we persevere, take courage in the most difficult moments?

 

It is at these times that everything is decided. These are the most decisive moments, because they are the only ones that prove our faithfulness.  And they lead us to true success. 

 

Have we lost the taste for the work, the gladness of labor? It is now that we must really start:  We must struggle on, even without enthusiasm, continue, even without pleasure! The great moments of the past must not sadden us; let us banish sterile nostalgia.  The finest moments, in fact, are those that we are living now; the moment of trial where everything will be decided according to our courage and which will lead us towards a return to the light of the past. 

 

Below is a teaching of the Baal Shem Tov:

 

Historically, this phenomenon occurred during the Exodus from Egypt.  Our ancestors could never have extricated themselves from their state of servitude by their own forces, their own reflection.  They had to be highly inspired, propelled by upper forces.  Nonetheless, their merit lay in the fact that they listened to Moshe (Moses) and were consequently "illuminated" by a powerful breath of liberty that allowed them to dare to leave.  This was the first evening of Passover. First evening of Passover, first stage on our way back, we have taken the first step, but we must still prove ourselves.  Here we run the risk of falling into error.  If we don’t apply "I’m my Beloved’s" (as described in the beginning of this chapter), we might imagine that we have acquired this light, that it will be with us always, in other word that we have already accomplished our personal redemption.  This might well lead to an inappropriate feeling of pride which in turn could cause a serious disappointment, because we will be unable to understand what is happening when night falls again…  

 

In order to allow us to prove whether our attachment is sincere, God will remove the light from us again.  Once more we will fall prey to harmful ideas; past habits, that we thought to have left behind for good, reappear in force . . .

 

Now we are in the second stage of the journey, symbolized by the verse "But my Beloved is mine" and that we will call the Omer.

 

The seven weeks of the Omer that the Israelites counted between the Exodus and Mount Sinai, in fact correspond to the seven traits of character that we must in turn examine, refine, elaborate in order to win back the spiritual light.  After having briefly tasted the joy of freedom, we must now count forty nine days.

 

If we come successfully to the end of this count, we will arrive at the fiftieth gate or Shavuot – the Revelation…

 

In the meantime, however, we are again grappling with our instincts and can almost be compared to the captives that we were in the past. There is, however, a major difference between our current state and the years of servitude: now, we know.  We have tasted the luminous delight obtained by rectitude.  We have sensed what can be obtained if we make the proper effort.  If we have lost the feeling of this taste, nevertheless its trace, lingers on in us, a small light that will never go out again.  In this light, we will consider the riddle again from its root.

 

The Talmud and all our Teachers are unanimous in instructing us that there is only complete repentance when the former sinner confronts the same ordeal and does not commit the same transgression again.  This applies to each one according to his experience, his precise case and the specific errors that he committed in the past.  Today he goes back to these places and finds himself in the same situation as in the past, but he resists.  He controls himself, and does not commit the transgression again. If he holds firm, we can now say that he has done Teshuva – Repentance.

 

If we ask ourselves:  "How can I find the same trial, since I have left the context of my errors?"  The Baal Shem Tov’s explanation that we have mentioned above answers this question.  The light has been taken from me, I find myself again in the same condition as in the past!  And this will lead to a similar frame of mind even though the external context has changed.  This will be my trial.

 

How clear it all is now!  The regression that people fear so much and consider catastrophes are in fact true blessed opportunities, provided, however, that we understand them and resist them when the time comes.  The man who succeeds in this will have achieved a balanced atonement, the one that according to the Talmud transforms all his sins into  merits.

 

Without traversing a crisis, we could never have achieved this; without finding the courage to resist at a turning point, we would have lost the opportunity of repairing all the damages.

 

My dear friends, you who identify with these lines!  You will find in these words an echo, a reflection of your deepest feelings and of your own experiences.  Thus you have arrived at the threshold of the third stage, at the foot of Mount Sinai, where if you wait, the secrets of Torah will be revealed to you.  You are assailed by swarms of fantasies and of black thoughts.  Know how fine your mission is!  You imagine that all is lost, that you have been rejected.  Remember that these dark hours that you are traversing are those in which you will discover your true greatness!

 

All that calls you backward are merely illusions and miscalculations.  Have they more to offer you than our holy Torah?  So, relentlessly, chase away all these ideas, do not listen to them, do not open a dialogue with them.  Your past, your responsibilities, your true level are not problems that you can resolve right now by reflection.  Close the door on them and rejoice that you have reached this stage:  You have left Egypt and are counting on a daily basis, the period in-between the Omer.  If you are troubled by your current status, apply the very sensible method taught by our Sages:  If the bad odor is very strong, pour on even more scent!

 

Holy study, prayer, meditation, song, dance, clapping, loving kindness and mercy are delightful scents which nurture and reinforce our souls.

 

This advice applies to everyone, whatever his level. It is the path which the righteous took before reaching the degree of total liberation.  Let us listen to their message, let us follow them.  They have traversed all the stages that we have described. 

 

When the Talmud states: "In the place where the repentant stands, even the true saints could not remain."  It is referring to this very path.

 

When the Zohar reveals to us that the fifth Heavenly palace is reserved for the repentant, it recognizes the true value of their task.  However, strength and ideas are required in order to carry it out.  You will find this strength in yourself.  You do possess it:  "the smallest of holy souls has the power to resist all the temptations of the world."

 

As for the ideas, you will find them as you need them in our Holy texts and above all among those who apply them, the righteous.  They will repeat to you in multiple ways:  DO NOT GIVE UP!

 

* * *

 

There was once a poor man who earned his living by digging up clay and then selling it.

 

One day when he was digging he found a priceless diamond.  Since he did not know how much the stone was worth, he went to a jeweler to have it appraised.

 

"Nobody in this country can pay you the price of this stone!"  exclaimed the jeweler.  "You must go to London, the royal city."

 

Since he was poor, the man did not have the means to pay for his journey.  He went begging from door to door, until he scraped together enough to arrive at the sea shore.  He wished to board a ship, but did not have the means to pay his passage.

 

He went to the captain and showed him his precious stone.  The captain immediately invited him on board:  "You are a very prudent man!" said the captain, showering him with honors.

 

He was offered a first-class cabin with all the comforts.  The cabin that he occupied had a skylight with a view of the sea.  The man spent his time delighting in his diamond, particularly during meals, since great happiness helps the digestion.

 

One day, while eating, he placed the diamond before him on the table, and then fell asleep.  In the meantime, the sailor who cleaned the cabins came in and took hold of the tablecloth to shake out the crumbs.  He did not notice the diamond and shook the cloth out over the sea!  When the poor man woke up an understood what had happened, his sorrow was so great that he almost went out of his mind.  What was he to do?  The captain could well kill him for the price of his passage.  He therefore decided to act as if nothing has happened.  The captain was in the habit of chatting with him a few hours every day. That day he came as usual. Our hero put on a joyous air, and the captain did not notice any difference.  "I know," confided the captain, "that you are an honest and sensible man.  I have purchased a very large quantity of wheat to sell in London.  I can make a tremendous profit, but I am afraid of being accused of having embezzled the royal reserve.  Let’s transfer the purchase in you name.  I will pay you well for this service."

 

The man accepted and they concluded the transaction.  On their arrival in London, the captain died suddenly.  Our hero inherited all his shiploads.  Their value far exceeded that of the diamond!

 

Rebbe Nachman concluded his tale thus:

 

 

 

To be continued…

 

 

(Used with permission from COURAGE by Israel Isaac Besancon. Published by Shir Chadash Publishers).