Couples and Coronavirus

Because of the Coronavirus pandemic, the education system is shut down, many workers are on unpaid leave of absence, and many are working from home.

This situation that came out of the clear blue leads to many challenges: coping with children at home, livelihood difficulties, and marital challenges.

With all the difficulty involved, this situation can be leveraged for quality time with the spouse, and for nurturing and strengthening the couple.

Here are some practical tips for strengthening your relationship and maintaining a positive routine:

1. Organize – Arrange a clear and predefined agenda as far as possible for yourself. This will promote stability throughout the day.

2. Hobby – Find a favorite hobby or game to play together: checkers, chess, cards, or any other game that involves creativity and thinking.

3. Joint Activities – Prepare meals together, even if one of you is not good at cooking. There are many actions in meal preparation that can be done: peeling, setting the table, etc. … Doing things together is a form of bonding and it strengthens communication skills.

4. Space – Give each other physical and mental space during the day.

5. Share – Share with each other how you've been through the day and how you feel in general.

6. Control – Make a monthly calendar for the coming month. Mark the level of shalom bayit (peace in the home) between you every day: If you had shalom bayit, make a check mark, and if not – mark "X". If you had only part of the day with shalom bayit, mark "– ".

This calendar reflects your marital status and motivation for continued blessing and improvement.

7. Criticism – If you are having difficulty with your spouse – Share! For your words to be heard, speak to your spouse and tell him that you need to share something important to you, and then set an appropriate time for dialogue. Always start the conversation with a kind word or with praise for something that has worked for you or for the home, and then share your concerns calmly, without assigning blame.

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Amichai Levi works in Couples Counseling and Emotional Therapy in collaboration with the Batei Din (religious courts) and Social Welfare Agency. He has authored the book "Advice for a Happy Marriage".