God, Fix it Already! – Part 3

In Part 2, I explained the intellectual understanding that we must have in order to let go of that nagging feeling that we prayed so much/did so many segulot/etc. etc. and G-d certainly has the ability to change the situation – so why hasn’t G-d fixed it already?! Now, I make it practical – how do you actually go about changing those feelings in function? 

Put Your Head Down, and Your Heart Up 

Now comes the really hard part. To put our head down, and put our hearts up to Heaven, and recognize that we don’t deserve anything. To let go of our arrogance, and our desire to “be like G-d” – to be in control of our lives. Because we are not in control of anything in our lives – only our responses, only our desire, only our will. 

Now, you can go totally crazy with that recognition! So if I am not in control – what is going to be?! Don’t worry, the world is not random and owner-less like many people think. G-d is in control – and He is Avinu, Malkeinu – Our Father, our King. Rabbi Arush explains that first Hashem is our Father – He loves us! A father never does anything bad for His children! It is only from Him, and it must be good somehow, especially when I don’t understand how! But G-d also isn’t some poor father, he wants to do good for his kids but he doesn’t have the means… no, G-d is also our King! A king has all the means in the world! He does whatever He wants, and He has all the money, and all the healings, and all the resources!  

That leads to the inevitable conclusion: 

G-d does whatever He wants – so if it is like this, then this IS exactly how Hashem wants it!!! 

So what happens then? I heard in the name of a hidden tzaddik that when we give up on all our machinations, trying to get what we want through whatever means including prayer and segulot and mitzvot and whatever – and we just hang everything on emuna and say thank you, even when it’s very much not what we want – then the heart lets out a cry, which tears through the Heavens, and Hashem answers that cry of our heart!  

I have experienced this a few times, and I tell you, it is really something. I can’t explain it any better than how I heard it, but it comes from the simultaneous breaking of all of our personal vessels with which we usually use to run our lives, and feeling utterly and completely helpless, while at the same time turning that “self-despair” so to speak, into total emuna in Hashem that HE is in control, and He does know what He is doing, and I simply must let go of my will for this to be how I want, and submit to His will, that wants it like this for reasons I don’t need to understand.  

Strengthen Your Emuna Muscles 

Now you may ask – “Well, that all sounds nice, but tachlis - Rachel, do you have any advice on HOW to get myself to do this?!” 

Rabbi Arush explains that because this belief is so foundational, but it’s also so difficult to wrap our minds around because it is not intuitive in the least – we must remind ourselves of these principles EVERY SINGLE DAY. Best before our personal prayer session or before we want to say “thank you Hashem” for something, and maybe you even need reminders throughout the day. You can read all about your daily “self-chat” here: A Daily Reminder – Part 2. Not a bad idea to check out part 1 too (click on “Previous” at the bottom) to make sure that you also believe in yourself and your own strength too! 

Emuna is a muscle, and in order to strengthen it, we have to USE IT. This world is one big school to teach us emuna – each and every moment we are faced with challenges, and over and over we have to remind ourselves of this truth, and say thank you with our whole heart, and want only emuna to be happy exactly as the situation is at this moment. 

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Rachel Avrahami grew up in Los Angeles, CA, USA in a far off valley where she was one of only a handful of Jews in a public high school of thousands. She found Hashem in the urban jungle of university. Rachel was privileged to read one of the first copies of The Garden of Emuna in English, and the rest, as they say, is history. She made Aliyah and immediately began working at Breslev Israel.  

 
Rachel is now the Editor of Breslev Israel’s English website. She welcomes questions, comments, articles, and personal stories to her email: rachel.avrahami@breslev.co.il.