Even There Even Now

description of book She strokes the small purple flowers. “Really nice. Thanks so much.” Estai tries to stop crying. “Actually, we also have a cake.” She opens the fridge, takes out the cake. It still has that smudge in the middle, pretty much like the palm of her hand. “Wow! It’s really nice, Esti. Thank you so much.” Leiby also sinks into a kitchen chair. She fills up the electric kettle and flips the switch. He looks at the cake, and looks around him, and he starts to cry again. “Esti?” She turns to him. Her cheeks are also wet with tears. “What?” “Do you remember what brachah kids in gan give on birthdays?” he asks, and cries just like a real kid in gan. “Yes.” Another wave of her tears erupts. “May we be zocheh to another year, Esti.” He is totally choked up. She want to answer amen, to scream amen. And ask Hashem to give them both koach to get there and to survive whatever else is waiting for them. But she’s crying so hysterically that she can’t get even one syllable out of her throat. “Say amen, please.” Leiby is almost pleading with her. They have so much to accomplish. An entire lifetime, basically. Leiby and Esti wake up to a new reality, a reality they could never have imagined…a reality that no one else must know about.