What Makes Hashem Happy?

Translated from Rabbi Arush’s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna. 

See Things as They Are 

“I can’t bear to listen to any more of this. It’s taking all the joy out of my life. It depresses me. I can’t continue this.” 

Yehudah’s studies in medical school were affecting him negatively. At home, his family never mentioned illnesses by name, they always avoided the term “sick.” But in medical school he was taught in detail about illnesses, side effects, aches, and weakness brought about by illness. The thought of so much suffering existing within the human experience was too much for Yehudah’s sensitive soul. 

When he told his good friend Benny about his problem, his friend responded, “Are you for real? Why does this surprise you at all? I thought medical schools only accepted smart candidates.” 

“I can’t believe you’re saying that,” Yehudah exclaimed. “It’s not like you to add insult to injury.” 

“I apologize. It really wasn’t nice of me,” Benny was quick to admit. “I can really understand how you feel. I know that you are a positive person who always wants to think positively. You never liked to discuss sad subjects. 

“But still, you are in medical school. Illness is part of the world we live in, with everything it does to people. Burying your head in the sand as if it doesn’t exist is not the definition of a positive attitude; it is the definition of someone who doesn’t think at all. If you hope to treat people and help them deal with their illnesses and recover, then it is vital that you develop a deep understanding of the illnesses. That is the basis of the medical profession, and that is why you chose it. 

“And on a personal level, once you understand illness and its causes, you will be able to follow a lifestyle that will help you avoid the illnesses that plague so many others. If you shut your ears whenever a word is spoken about illness and its causes, you’re inviting it to come to your doorstep. You have to face reality if you want to do what is best for you and avoid danger, with Hashem’s help.” 

Appreciating Rebuke 

In this week’s parashah, there is a long list of “curses” – Divine punishments that are difficult to listen to without wincing. You might wonder why such a long, detailed list is necessary. The Torah is supposed to be pleasant to learn, but it really is not pleasant to read about a woman who has been starving for so long that she cooks her infant in a soup and then hides in a closet to eat it without sharing any of it with her starving husband and children. I don’t usually write this way, but this is exactly what the Torah describes. 

As hard as it is, we must not ignore these “curses.” Our Torah of Life was given to us so that we will gain a truly good life and happiness. For that very reason, the Torah cannot consist of only nice, positive things. It does not blur the reality of life. It is because the Torah hopes to direct us on the path of a good, pleasant life, that it insists that we become aware of reality. This world contains a lot of misery and suffering. Many people are subjected to situations that should be found only in Gehinnom, and that is not by accident. 

The Blessed Holy One has told us that everything we do counts and elicits a response. It might come immediately, and it might come many years later – it all depends on what Hashem sees fit. We can compare this to physical health. If someone eats something poisonous, he will feel the effects almost immediately. If someone eats sweets all day long every day, he is liable to develop diabetes, but only many years down the road. Hashem controls everything, and He conducts the world with absolute justice. 

If you have learned what diabetes is, you will know how to avoid it. You will know that you can’t just put a Band-Aid on it. You have to take care of it from the source. If you ignore it, it will only get worse, Heaven forbid. 

It works the same way with all human suffering. If you recognize it and you know what causes it, you are then able to deal with it correctly. Instead of simply trying to treat the symptoms, you need to get down to the spiritual source of your troubles. If someone simply ignores the symptoms, they will not go away by themselves. They are bound to get worse, Heaven forbid. 

How Does Hashem Contact Us? 

In Likutei Moharan #206, Rebbe Nachman teaches us what life is all about. He wrote: “Hashem’s way is to give a person a reminder as soon as He sees that the person is straying from the right path. He calls the person to backtrack to that intersection and choose again. For some people, a hint is enough. Others need a more direct approach, and still others don’t pay attention until they are kicked off their feet.” 

The punishment is not the goal; it’s just a way to get people to listen. When intelligent people learn all about common and uncommon illnesses, they realize from a young age that they had better adopt a healthy lifestyle that is appropriate for them so that they will avoid those illnesses. 

In the same way, when we read all these “curses” in the Torah, we understand that this not what Hashem wants to do to us. He loves us all and wants to spare us all pain and suffering, but He has to contact us and let us know what we are doing to ourselves. He wants us to wake up and begin following the path of Torah and mitzvot, a path that brings in its wake tremendous blessings and that averts all tragedy. 

We read this long, detailed list of “curses,” not only to know what to do when such things happen to us, but more importantly for us to know how to live correctly in the first place so that these things will never happen to us. Hashem’s greatest joy is to find that He does not have to punish anyone. He is happiest when His children follow the right path to success, making all suffering unnecessary. 

The Wise Man Brings Joy to His Father 

In my discussion of suffering in the book The Garden of Emuna, I wrote that when a father punishes his children, an unthinking child is liable to get angry and feel hatred toward his father. A thinking child feels the pain of the punishment, but he realizes that he brought it upon himself. He then admits that he was wrong and asks to be forgiven. That is a lot better than the unthinking child, but it is far from perfect. 

A more intelligent child understands that he was punished for his own good. He thanks his father for bringing his waywardness to his attention. He also asks to be forgiven, but he feels happy and privileged to do that. 

The truly intelligent child, however, is the one who loves his father and knows that his father wants only to see him succeed. He realizes that his father never wants to punish him, and therefore the son checks every day to make sure that his behavior matches the path that his father wants him to follow, for his own lasting success. 

In the same way, someone who becomes angry at Hashem for bringing suffering upon him invites even more painful suffering to come his way. Someone who realizes that it was all his fault changes his ways so that he will not need to suffer anymore. Another person thanks Hashem for making him aware that he needs to improve, and he is happy to do so. But a Jew who truly understands what Hashem wants will do hitbodedut (personal prayer) for an hour every day, fine-tuning his behavior on a daily basis so that it will never be necessary for Hashem to bring suffering upon him. He davens to Hashem to guide him on the right path to live totally in accordance with His Will, which is the best thing for himself as well. Our Father is most pleased with this fourth son. That is what the pasuk says: Hashem joyously treats us well, and He feels no joy at all when He is forced to punish us. 

Listen to What You Are Reading 

We always read this parashah of “curses” shortly before Rosh Hashanah, symbolizing our prayer that “This year and its curses have come to an end, and a new year of blessings will begin.” But who are we trying to kid? Does anyone believe that we will affect the coming year by reading the “curses” before the new year begins? 

Of course, reading the list of curses won’t do anything. The point is that we want the reading to wake us up and begin the new year on a new and better path. We have a wonderful opportunity right now, before the Days of Judgment are upon us, to contemplate all the suffering we, our families, and the entire Jewish nation, have experienced over the past year. Use that suffering to wake up and resolve to adopt the path of hitbodedut and perfect yourselves. In that way, you will begin to live as Hashem wishes, and there will no longer be any reason to bring suffering upon you or upon our nation. 

Shanah tovah! May you have a year of goodness and blessing.