Creating a Secure Space

Translated from Rabbi Arush’s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna. 

We Don’t Take Chances 

All these months of war got us to thinking.  When life is going along smoothly, we prefer not to ask piercing questions, and we even ignore dangers. But when these dangers come to a point  that they explode in front of us, we can’t continue to “sleep” and we must respond to them.  

The Holy One, Blessed be He, is always speaking to us through the realities of life, in every thought, word, and action. When He, yitbarach, brings upon people different types of suffering – those are already His personal love letters, more focused and more serious. But when there are wars – that is Hashem “shouting” at all of us.  

We don’t presume to speak in the name of the Creator, and each person should examine his actions and understand what he must understand and correct what he must correct. But there are some clear and simple things that the Creator Himself writes to us in the Torah. It is easy to see that our reality is very far from the Creator’s wishes, and there is no one who does not need some strengthening in these matters.  

The campaigns and the wars should awaken all of us, firstly, to thank Hashem for all the miracles, and to pray that Hashem will continue to show us His great love openly. But in this article, we wish to continue to examine the matters of tzniut (modesty), and to focus on shmirat einayim (guarding one’s eyes) and shmirat habrit (guarding the brit) for men. And, as we wrote, it is very important for women to know these matters as well, so that they will be able to pray for their husbands, be they current or future ones.

To demonstrate this point, let’s take the Twelve-Day War, otherwise known as Operation Rising Lion (Mivtza Am K’lavi )¹. Iran attacked Israel with 500 missiles, of which less than seventy failed to be  intercepted and indeed exploded on the ground. And yet, the number of casualties was very small, thank G-d. You might ask yourself: Why did everyone go into the bomb shelters? After all, the chances that the missile would strike a specific building were very small, and the chances of being injured were statistically negligible! 

The answer is simple: When the danger is clear and real, we don’t be clever and we don’t make calculations. If there is any chance of being hurt, we will use all the safety measures and do everything to protect ourselves and our families. And indeed, following the Home Front guidelines, millions of people were vigilant all the time, ready for any alert. They got out of bed at night and sometimes went out into the cold in order to go down to the shelter with their young children. Right? 

More Dangerous Than a Missile 

This simple observation caused me to learn something that we could take from this experience and use its message for the purpose of serving Hashem. 

Even (and all the more so) when a person is in spiritual danger – he must defend himself, even if he thinks that chances of being harmed are not so great. And how much more so when the chances of being harmed are very great indeed! 

What am I talking about? I’m talking about matters of pgam einayim (looking at inappropriate sights) and other pgamei habrit (things that bring about inappropriate emissions). All of us are in a very, very great danger, a clear and tangible danger, and therefore everyone, everyone, must do everything to avoid placing oneself in any danger and make use of any defensive measures available.  

We will explain things as we have explained them before. Using the real-life example of the war, we will give their practical meaning in our lives: 

Can you defend yourself from a missile on your own? No. Why not? Because the missile is much stronger and more powerful than you are. It can demolish concrete buildings, not to mention a flesh-and-blood human being. Your only way to deal with it is to be in a safe, protected place, and not think that you are a great hero. Just close your eyes. 

The Gemara tells us that it is the same with the yetzer hara. You cannot stand up to it; it is stronger than you. It is made of fire², and you are made of flesh and blood. If it decides to attack you, you will not be able to overcome it.  

And then it indeed decides to attack! The yetzer hara doesn’t stay idle for long – every day it plots against all human beings and overcomes all of them, as the Gemara says: “Rav Yitzchak said, a person’s yetzer attacks him anew every day, as it says, ‘his thoughts constantly inclined towards evil’, and Rabbi S. ben Levi said: a person’s yetzer overcomes him every day and wishes to kill him, for it says, ‘the wicked lie in wait for the righteous, seeking their death’.”³ 

The Main Danger 

What is the main thing in the yetzer hara? The main yetzer hara is in matters of tzniut (modesty) and  arayot (forbidden relations), as the holy Zohar says: “the main yetzer hara is about arayot and that is the main tumah (spiritual impurity).”⁴ It is the yetzer hara that attacks everyone, without exceptions. 

A person who chooses to ignore this is much worse than someone who doesn’t enter a safe room when there is an air-raid siren. He is much more similar to someone who receives a warning from the  Home Front Command that the missile is aimed at his street, and he doesn’t go into a safe room. It is really like sheep going to the slaughter.  

How naive is the person who doesn’t heed the Torah’s and Chazal’s warnings! He thinks to himself: “It won’t happen to me”, and ignores the immense yetzer hara that he knows is burning in him and attracting him! Who can say, “I am protected, I am safe”? 

The basic thing is to be aware of the danger and of your weaknesses. The main thing is to protect yourself! 

How Does One Protect Oneself? 

The Gemara doesn’t give us only the “alarm” but also shows us what a “safe room” is. And what is the safe room that protects you from this danger? The Gemara continues and makes an unequivocal statement: “… and if the Holy One, Blessed Be He doesn’t help him, he will not be able to win³, as it says: ‘G-d will not abandon him in his hand’⁵! 

It is an explicit statement: “…and if the Holy One, Blessed Be He, doesn’t help him…”  You can’t do it by yourself; there is no way to withstand a test without Hashem’s help. So beg Hashem to help you:

“Ribbono shel Olam (Master of the World), help me! If You don’t help me, I have no way to defend myself and I am in terrible danger of losing my life. The yetzer hara wishes to kill me, and I see and know how the yetzer hara burns within me, therefore help me, Abba. Have mercy on me and protect me and save me.” 

And since the yetzer hara overcomes one anew every day, as Chazal say, we too must overcome and renew ourselves with prayer every day. Day after day,  never missing even one.  

And like in our parable, the parable of the safe room: You don’t tell yourself, “I went into the shelter in the previous siren, so why go in again?” That is great foolishness.  Why?! Because it’s a new missile! That is exactly the way it is with the yetzer hara: Even though you have prayed for two whole months, day after day, pray today as well about the new yetzer hara of today! 

Now is the Time! 

And if you ask, is bolstering oneself in matters of kedushah so important now, in a time of war? It is a time when the hearts are so open; perhaps it is necessary to give different messages at such a time? 

This too we learn from the Torah and from Chazal: The weekly parshiot – both Acharei Mot and  Kedoshim — deal with the matter of arayot at length. In what context? Immediately after the Torah details at length the service of the kohen on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year. You might ask – what’s the connection? Are you talking to me about arayot – a vulgar and earthy yetzer hara – immediately after forty days of teshuva (repentance) with all its spiritual uplifting?! 

We see that beyond the fact that these parshiot adjoin each other, the connection is of essence. That is why Chazal command us to read the parasha of arayot at the height of the fast day, at the height of our submission to Hashem, about an hour before Ne’ilah.  We’re not even thinking about sins and aveirahs – and here, too, one could ask – is this the time to speak about arayot?? 

And the Torah tells us: Yes! The danger of arayot, pgam habrit, and lack of tzniut, is real and is such a common, everyday issue. You need the deepest and strongest awakening to motivate yourself to act in a way that will save your life. This happens at the height of Yom Kippur, and it happens at a time of war, when Hashem yitbarach is shaking up the world.  

It is particularly at such times that we must remember that we are a holy nation. And there is a constant  and fundamental demand upon us – Be holy! And it is particularly in such times  that we must remember who the real enemy is: the yetzer hara. It wants to make us sin and to knock us down, to defile us, and to ruin us. Our only protection is Hashem  yitbarach. And that is why we must wake up and call out to Him every day, asking for His help.  

Dear Jews, sons and daughters of Yisrael, we should take note of the wonderful awakening of the Jewish people right now and strengthen ourselves in matters of kedushah. And the main thing is to start praying every day in the way we laid out in the book Ohr Chadash (in English, A New Light). 

Editor’s Notes 

¹ Bamidbar (Numbers) 23:24  

This verse is part of the oracles of Balaam and uses the imagery of a lion to describe the strength, resilience, and ultimate victory of the Jewish people. The name was specifically chosen for the Operation to symbolize the nation’s proactive “rising” to confront existential threats. 

² Yoma 69b (yetzer hara as a fiery lion); Kiddushin 81a (yetzer hara as a pillar of fire); Vidui of Yom Kippur 

³ Kiddushin 30b 

⁴ Zohar, Volume 3 (Parashat Vayikra), Page 15b  

⁵ Tehillim (Psalms) 37:33 

This is the asmachta (prooftext) in Kiddushin 30b to give a Biblical source to what is written there