Think About YOU!

“Do not quarrel along the way.” (Bereishit 45:24) 

A Barrel Full of Water 

The seforim bring a wonderful parable that applies to each and every one of us, teaching us how to conduct ourselves when we read or hear words of mussar (morality, ethics):

In one town there were two shuls—one attended by the wealthier families, and the other by the poorer families. The poor noticed that the wealthy rejoiced with exceptional joy on Simchas Torah and wondered why. 

  

Upon looking into it, they discovered that before the hakafot circuits with the Torah Scrolls, the wealthy would make Kiddush and drink a small amount of whiskey and other drinks, which energized the body and opened the way to a deep joy in the Torah. 

  

The poor then gathered to devise a plan. How could they, too, afford these expensive spirits? 

  

One of the gabbai’im suggested placing an empty barrel in the corner of the shul. Each Shabbat, when people came for Minchah, every congregant would bring a small cup of leftover liquor from his Shabbat morning meal and pour it into the barrel. Over time, the barrel would fill, and by Simchas Torah they would drink from it and rejoice. 

  

The community agreed, and each Shabbat everyone in the shul contributed a small cup. 

  

But the gabbai quietly reasoned: I shouldn’t have to give anything. After all, it was my idea! Not wanting to separate from the community, he filled his cup with water and poured it into the barrel, assuming it would make no difference if only he did so. He told no one and continued this way all year. 

  

When Simchas Torah arrived, everyone eagerly turned to the barrel, only to discover it was filled entirely with water. It turned out that everyone had thought the same thing: What harm is there if only I don’t bring whiskey? And so, instead of whiskey, they had all brought water. 

The lesson is clear. When people gather with the intention to grow and strengthen themselves, and they hear words of mussar and gentle rebuke, there is a natural temptation to think that the message is meant for someone else. We look around the room and think that it’s good that certain people are present, convinced that the others are the ones who truly need to hear these words. Yet about ourselves we rarely think. 

“If I Am Here” 

The seforim use this parable to explain the words of Hillel at the Simchat Beit HaShoeva when he said, “If I am here, everything is here” (Sukkah 53a). 

At first glance, this sounds like arrogance—certainly not fitting for Hillel, who was known for his extraordinary humility. 

But Hillel’s intent was quite the opposite. If we have come to this celebration to strengthen ourselves and draw Divine inspiration, then each person must say, “If I am here, everything is here”—meaning, each individual must ensure that he himself is truly present, receptive, and growing. And only then, everything will be accomplished by inspiring everyone. 

Take the Lesson to Heart 

One who searches for the faults of others instead of examining his own is, in truth, deceiving himself.  

On this point, R’ Simcha Bunim of Peshischa, offered a penetrating insight. The Torah states, “And when you make a sale to your fellow Jew or make a purchase from the hand of your fellow Jew, you shall not wrong one another…” (Vayikra 25:14), which by law forbids deceiving another person. But a chassid, who strives to live beyond the letter of the law, must take this further: he is forbidden even to deceive himself. 

Chazal teach (Kiddushin 70a): “Anyone who disqualifies others does so with his own blemish.” One who constantly suspects and criticizes others for their spiritual flaws—such as arrogance—is revealing that he himself is afflicted with that very flaw and preoccupied with it. Because he is immersed in it, he assumes others are as well. 

Similarly, the Mishnah teaches (Negaim 2:5): “A person sees all blemishes except his own.” The Baal Shem Tov explained that all the blemishes a person sees outside himself—in others—are drawn from his own blemishes. 

Along these lines, my grandfather, R’ Yitzchak Aizik of Kaalov, explained that a metzora¹ is so called because he is a motzi ra—one who brings out evil. The metzora is guilty of lashon hara, and by speaking negatively about others, he reveals and externalizes the evil that exists within himself. 

Think about You! 

With this, we can better understand what we find regarding Yosef HaTzaddik. 

After he revealed himself to his brothers, and they saw his righteousness and realized that they had pursued him unjustly, Yosef was concerned that on their journey home they might argue and quarrel about the sale—each brother accusing another, saying, “Because of you he was sold; you spoke lashon hara about him and caused us to hate him,” as Rashi explains. 

Therefore, Yosef said to them, “Do not quarrel along the way.” He was warning them not to blame each other, because then no one will truly correct himself. Rather, each person should remember that he, too, was among those who accepted and spoke lashon hara. In this way, each one will take the lesson to heart and work to repair himself from this day forward. 

Editor’s Note

¹ A person afflicted with a spiritual malady known as tzara’at (physical affliction that manifests as specific discolorations on the skin). 

*** 

The Kalever Rebbe is the seventh Rebbe of the Kaalov Chasidic dynasty, begun by his ancestor who was born to his previously childless parents after receiving a blessing from the Baal Shem Tov zy”a, and later learned under the Maggid of Mezeritch zt”l. The Rebbe has been involved in outreach for more than 30 years and writes weekly emails on understanding current issues through the Torah. Sign up at www.kaalov.org.