Smoke Screen, Part 4

The Winning Formula for Losing Weight 

“Abba, I feel that my weight is already bothering me a lot, both when I look in the mirror, and in social situations. How can I lose weight?” 

For the father, this was a golden opportunity. For a long time already, he and his wife had been concerned about their teenage son’s weight, but they hadn’t said anything. Why bother? If the desire to lose weight doesn’t come from him – it won’t last, and the failure will only decrease his low self-esteem even further … 

But now the son is taking the initiative and requesting guidance and advice. You would think that this would be a good opportunity to give him a lecture and explain to him all about the damage that sugar can cause, and teach him self-control and healthy eating. Right? 

Wrong. The father knows that that won’t help either. The son does indeed want to lose weight on his own initiative, but he doesn’t know how hard it will be. What will a young man do when he gets hungry while in yeshiva, where most of the food is not exactly healthy to eat? How will he be able to withstand the temptation when he sees all his friends eating chocolate and drinking sweetened soft drinks? How will he change long-time habits? 

It’s very easy to talk and to explain, but it’s very hard to actually do. It is very difficult to change behavior patterns. 

Overcoming the Problem Effortlessly 

And so, the father chose a completely different approach. He asked his son: “My dear son, do you really want to lose weight?” “Yes, Abba,” his son replied. “Is it important to you?” “Very important.” “And will you do everything I’ll tell you to do?” asked the father. “Yes, Abba, I will,” the son answered decisively. 

“So, listen well to what I am going to tell you,” said the father, and the son braced himself for what was coming. “Eat whatever you like and as much as you want.” The son gave his father a puzzled look. But the father paid no attention and continued: “Let’s go to a shoe store then and buy you a pair of sports shoes.” 

They came home with sports shoes, and the father was going to go about his business. But before that, he casually said to his son, “This evening I’m going for a run around the block. Want to join me?” The son was happy to oblige. 

At first, running was very hard for the son. He had never exercised. But after a short while he got used to it and began to see results. He added other exercises. Without even feeling it, he began to lose weight as well… The satisfaction he got from his successes in exercising, and the compliments he was receiving from others caused him to want to stay away from sugar-loaded foods, almost without any effort and battle on his side and without his parents having to tell him anything! 

When Life Is Sweet, Who Needs Sugar? 

This is a true story, and it demonstrates the point we wrote about last week. When a person is connected and addicted to desires that give him a feeling of false vitality, it is very hard for him to wean himself from them. It’s difficult to disconnect from them unless there is an alternative source that gives a feeling of vitality. 

Therefore, it is important to take “baby steps” – small steps. But the main emphasis should be on building a true source of life, developing a spiritual source of satisfaction. And when a person is truly connected to a source of life and oxygen, it is much easier for him to relinquish the bad and overcome even huge temptations. 

It’s Not the Greeks – It’s Us 

I have always explained the idea of Chanukah like this: A Jew has been keeping Torah and mitzvot and following the true traditions for years. How could it be that a Greek comes and convinces him to leave the true way of his forefathers and go for something that’s false and meaningless, as attractive as it might be? 

The explanation is that in that generation there were Jews who kept Torah and mitzvot, but they were not receiving any true vitality from that holiness. They were not happy to do mitzvot, were not happy with their Judaism, did not know to thank and to appreciate. And therefore, when they found false vitality in Greek culture, they were immediately attracted to it. One can say that the Greeks didn’t cause the Jews to sin – they just revealed their inner emptiness, the lack of connection to Hashem, and the lack of holiness, spiritual vitality.  

And therefore, Chazal gave us two permanent mitzvahs for Chanukah: 

One mitzvah is to praise and give thanks, in order to awaken us to see the light and the goodness in our lives and to be filled with happiness with the wonderful things that Judaism grants us in life: emuna (faith), tefillah (prayer), Shabbat, Shabbat songs, the wisdom of Torah, the love of doing acts of kindness etc. Open your eyes, say Chazal, and see the beautiful life you lead! 

 

The second mitzvah is lighting candles; in other words, to add light that will illuminate the great darkness. Even one little light that you add – will grow and expand until it chases away all the darkness. Don’t fight the darkness face-to-face; just add light. Build a true sense of vitality and it will chase away the dark and false vitality. 

The Strength to Fight 

Now is the time to sum up our series of essays about the damage that technology, the internet, and the “smart” phones cause. 

The smartphones – which are anything but smart and good – managed to get into the most closed Charedi circles. They blind our eyes so much that people don’t even see the problem; they don’t realize how much these devices conflict with Judaism. And that is precisely Hellenization! 

When you put such a gadget into your pocket, you’re putting into your pocket all the abominations of the world, and you’re poisoning your soul. The telephone is not in your pocket – you yourself are sitting in the pocket of the yetzer hara (evil inclination)!  

One must throw this device away, break it, shatter it, and relinquish it completely. But if we want to have the strength to disconnect ourselves completely from these small screens, we must fight for our vitality, like the Chashmona’im so courageously fought. This is the battle of our generation. 

Dear fellow Jew, this device is stealing every bit of true spiritual vitality from you. And the only way to disconnect from it long-term is to search for and find true vitality and to draw it from the wellspring of emuna, which is the source of life.  

False vitality is cheap and very easy to obtain; it comes effortlessly. Holy vitality seems to us hard to obtain and far away. But our sages and the festival of Chanukah reveal to us that that is not true. Indeed, we must want it and must search and do whatever we can. But if we just create an opening the size of the eye of a needle, all the immense gates will open to us, leaving openings that are big enough to allow “coaches and carriages to go through.”¹ 

What Should One Do – Practically? 

Practically, we receive our true spiritual vitality only from emuna. And the main point of emuna is to know that Hashem loves us – each and every one of us – personally. 

This emuna must be learned and reviewed and internalized and acquired, reaching into the depths of our hearts. And when a Jew has the merit to feel Hashem’s love and to reciprocate – he receives such a spiritual light and such a deep vitality in his soul that he doesn’t have to go to battle against the screens and the gadgets; he just naturally is not tempted by them and has no desire to destroy his life and his soul by using them – they are not the agents of the yetzer hara, but rather the yetzer hara itself. 

Hashem’s love is the true vitality of the entire creation, as the Rambam says in his book, Mishneh Torah:  

“What is the proper [degree] of love? That a person should love Hashem with a very great and exceeding love until his soul is bound up in the love of Hashem. Thus, he will always be obsessed with this love as if he is lovesick. 

[A lovesick person’s] thoughts are never diverted from the love of that woman. He is always obsessed with her; when he sits down, when he gets up, when he eats and drinks. With an even greater [love], the love for Hashem should be [implanted] in the hearts of those who love Him and are always obsessed with Him as we are commanded [“Love Hashem] with all your heart and with all your soul.”  

This concept was implied by Solomon when he stated, as a metaphor: “I am lovesick.”²  [Indeed,] the totality of Shir Hashirim is a parable describing [this love].”³

Whoever gets a true taste of emuna and love of Hashem, will certainly be free of all the influences of the yetzer hara and it will be easy for him to be safe and holy and pure, and it is he who will be the true future of netzach Yisrael (the eternity of the Jewish People). 

Editor’s Notes: 

¹ The quote “Open for me an opening the size of the eye of a needle, and I will open for you openings the size of a hall” comes from Shir HaShirim Rabbah 5:3. 

² Shir HaShirim 2:5 and 5:8

³ Maimonides’ Mishneh Torah, Sefer HaMiddah, Hilchot Teshuvah, Chapter 10, Halacha 3.